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（*此為自肥文）219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa9jKCObi9
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我叫彤佳語，國小六年級，而今天我就要去死了...哈哈…到底為什麼會變成這樣呢？
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這都要從我小時候說起。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0hIUNal2y
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在我有記憶以來，爸爸和媽媽就不停的在吵架，媽媽總是會摔東西，嘴上還一直說著什麼狐狸精，而爸爸則會拿起離手邊最近的東西打媽媽，還好爸爸一個月只會回來一次。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKZ3sIfT23
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爸爸和媽媽吵完架後，爸爸就會離開，而我總會躲在房間裡，等到謾罵聲結束。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLxHbkcXpP
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爸爸離開後，媽媽就會變回平常的樣子，坐在餐桌喝酒，有時候不開心時會拿起手邊的藤條打我。每天放學後，我都要回家洗碗、洗衣服、打掃等，不過有時候阿姨會過來幫我，阿姨來的時候媽媽都會要我穿上長袖和長褲，雖然不知道為什麼，但是我很開心。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjdvOmPPZ4
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也許早點回家也不錯，因為學校裡也沒有什麼令人開心的事。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUzETjdrni
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同學每次看見我，都會想盡辦法捉弄我，大一點的時候我才知道那叫做「霸凌」，他們都說我又髒又臭，叫我陰沉女，還會故意弄亂我的位子，把我的作業簿弄髒、弄溼，故意排擠我，然而老師都會把這當成是同學間的小玩笑，就這麼過去了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rGs0fGwIb
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五年級分班後，我的日子還是一如往常，有個女生...她好像叫呂萱宥？她就是新的帶頭霸凌我的人，說不恨是騙人的，但我什麼都做不了，就算告訴老師，他又會相信嗎？219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1jEUCKJSc
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「喂！自閉女！借我三百塊吧！我們不是朋友嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6B95mnS69
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呂萱宥帶著幾個跟班向我走來，把我逼到牆角。我真的很想說，妳們這群霸凌人的人，難道都沒別招了嗎？219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGwFiEsnhS
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「我沒錢...」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEhtQgoPyu
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「沒錢！妳上次也是這樣講！妳是不是學不乖？看來只能再把妳揍一頓了...可以的話我還真不想這麼做呢...！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhsTbIFuGE
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呂萱宥露出了期待的笑容，她身旁的跟班按捺著拳頭，發出「啪、啪」的聲音。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqxEaTU4rO
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不是我不想給，只是我現在連養活自己都有困難了，我再給她們錢的話說不定會餓死，挨打總比餓死好，要死也得選個輕鬆的死法。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRNsaQLQr4
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她們舉起拳頭，我也做好挨打的準備。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7tACezpiG
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「你們在幹什麼！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttdw6pvKh1
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一個有點胖胖的男生朝這裡走過來，呂萱宥她們趕緊轉過身背對我，裝出一副若無其事的樣子。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRckcAyWxen
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「沒什麼啊！我們只是在玩，對吧？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaa91h6SwL
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呂萱宥對她的跟班使了使眼色。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuGBhE8uUW
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「呃...對啊！沒錯哈哈！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy3sISm4vG
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「真的？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5U7inmRJu
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「當然！噢對了，歐世傑你怎麼會來這？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCcmns3nzw
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她馬上轉移話題。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcvWdODvX8
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「我經過不行嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlrxxrJx7c
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「呃...我…我想起我還有事要做，先走囉！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Th3xOHw0K
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呂萱宥和她的跟班快步離開，那個男生是叫歐...歐世傑？他..為什麼要理我？我第一次這麼的好奇一件事，不行，我必須問清楚。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c7HMPqLQs
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「為什麼幫我？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPMfJhFbHk
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「……」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcbKtni8Un
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他沉默了許久，終於開口。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkzXISjmEv
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「幫助人還需要什麼理由嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHv2I58YCI
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是啊！我是個人，是個活生生的人…為什麼我到現在才知道呢？219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h121Wmjaj
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從那以後，他幾乎每天都來關心我，關心我有沒有好好吃飯，傷口痛不痛，我真的好開心，除了阿姨以外，他是第一個讓我感到溫暖、有安全感的人。他就像一道光，照亮了我的世界，他也像是一絲希望。世界，原來是這麼美好。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuNAZS4v6a
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「那個...歐世傑...請跟我做朋友！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I2tObD0sB
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這是我生平第一次用了那麼大的勇氣，說不定之前沒用到的現在都用光了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kyVf0qjyA
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「....？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl1CFFnzWy
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「...不行嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL8ppgDvvc
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也是，不會有人會想和我這種一無是處又毫無優點的人相處…又怎麼可能會有人會想跟我做朋友。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ah4yklULp
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「我們早就已經是了啊？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz6iCyPrMX
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只見歐世傑抓著頭，皺著眉頭，而我...哭了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYj0zo9M5X6
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眼淚不停的滴下，哭聲止不住，但心裡卻覺得好暖和，我急忙轉過身，不讓歐世傑看見我的現在的樣子。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1REEeyKgP
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「喂你還好嗎...呃...不然這樣好了，我們不當朋友....當摯友好嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmy6xXOxg6
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歐世傑慌張的安慰我，讓我又哭又笑。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJiu50vQ6e
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「摯友？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEhhDxY4Hi
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「那個..摯友就是比朋友更要好的朋友吧！既然都成為摯友了，我們就互叫名字吧，佳語。」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GMMMemWV0
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「世...世傑，那個...我們也可以當閨蜜啊！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jcnq5lb4k
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這是我生平的第一個玩笑。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky6S6i5rDO
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世傑茫然的看著我，接著又皺起眉頭。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmSFAEqpfk
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「Are you serious?」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nw2OUAHhu
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是啊！那時是多麼的快樂…就算其他人再討厭我，只要世傑是站在我這邊的就夠了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuiFykFzp6
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在一年後的某天，世傑應該是剛打掃完，因為他提著一桶髒水，只不過稀奇的是，他身後站著的是許翰彥—黑道老大的兒子，呂萱宥的男友兼打手。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoqUBHiTVU
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「世傑，有什麼事嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56iD1oSsuh
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世傑不發一語，把桶子拿起來。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FTNVlrAKC
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「嘩啦！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcsTW7uARL
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我的臉好冰，水珠從我的髮絲流下，我站的地板也滿是水。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u4c2YMiqZ
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「世傑？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtOmq9MpK9
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怎麼回事，這難道是什麼玩笑嗎？219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIbM9yEr4W
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「哈哈哈哈哈！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92G367n6MW
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世傑摀著眼睛，仰天大笑，接著是許翰彥，最後是圍觀的所有人，所有人都在...嘲笑我。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM4WDM91qX
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「這個玩笑不會太過分嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZkw9SKnOz
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「過分？」許翰彥回答，「對啊！這只是個玩笑嘛！但請妳記住，這同時也是種警告，如果妳太快樂，我的女朋友可是會很傷心的！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4jN2T2fIJ
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周圍又響起一陣笑聲。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPecEuHs0w
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許翰彥把手搭在歐世傑的肩膀上，「沒有哪一個男人會希望看見自己的女人流淚吧？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UAUyFKzl3
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他又接著把嘴巴靠近世傑的耳朵，小聲的說—「當然，家人也不例外。」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaNaDs2kyD
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我沒看清世傑的表情，但他不太像是開心的樣子。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdpmSHJ1Ip
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從那次以後，呂萱宥又開始霸凌我，世傑也不再理我，以前四年發生過的事，又再度繼續，沒關係，我還撐得下去......219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kzBuZc0PT
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7月18日，放學後，我回到家門前，我以為我會看見那一如往常的景色…但，並不是如此。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG7UI2jhuI
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有幾輛警車停在那兒，我也看見幾位警察忙進忙出的，而我的媽媽—她坐在路邊哭泣著...就在那時，我看見有兩位穿著白衣的人，抬著一個單架，單架上的人蓋著一塊白布，他的手不經意的調出白布外。那隻手，曾在我做錯事時拍我的頭安慰我；它也曾在我做不完家事時幫我做；它還曾給與我活下去所需的溫度，那隻手—是我阿姨的手。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87cbtX4kKQ
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不，這不可能是真的，怎麼可能？219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18vIeLOvBs
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一位警察走到我面前。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwO0I5FRBw
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「請問妳是李雅莛的家屬嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15iaKPNaen
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「...是的，她是我的阿姨....。」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa5nCN4k3N
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「請妳冷靜的聽我說，我是高雄署鳳山分部的張警官。大約三十分鐘前，我們接獲妳們鄰居的燥噪音報案，前來查看發現李雅莛小姐血流不止倒在地上，就在剛才現場急救無效，已經沒了呼吸心跳。而在現場我們發現彤志雄先生，也就是妳的父親，拿著沾有李雅莛小姐血液的球棒。依據在場妳的母親李雅惠小姐的證詞，本來是自己要被打，而李雅莛小姐挺身保謢她，所彤志雄先生才失手誤殺了李雅莛小姐。那關於這起事件的後續....」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0mt7nU9oo
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什麼？他在講什麼？阿姨死了？不，怎麼可能？這難道又是什麼無聊的玩笑嗎？她昨天明明還好端端的啊！不可能，他說那個男人殺死了阿姨？阿姨她才沒有死！她不會死的！所有人都在騙我！每個人都是騙子！不可能不可能不可能！219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQYmYrM5Ne
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我轉身跑走，剛才那位警察好像在叫我，但那一點都不重要，我必須去找到那個人，找到那個人，跟他問清楚，這樣說不定我能夠活下去了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkg9Msa1Cm
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我跑到目的地，瘋狂按著他家的門鈴。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a4A2SJzrs
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「叮咚！叮咚」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdo2qjzv0r
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「哪位？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX95wtFUIh
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「那個...世傑...」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzXuvp3g1d
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「…彤佳語？妳走吧！」
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世傑一臉驚呀的瞪大眼睛，有可能是因為這是我第一次來他家找他吧，而且還那麼急躁，不過他隨後就要把門關上。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U0ECJVOcu
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「我問你，我們還是摯友嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGTZSLo8io
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「不，怎麼可能，別開完笑了，我們現在可是連朋友都不是的陌生人！妳問完了，現在可以走了嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxguTVRPmOZ
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpknNgAqlyg
他在說謊，他的表情告訴我，雖然只有一點點，但我看的出來他很痛苦。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQGnzpJa67
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITOSKuhZ7r
「你告訴我，許翰彥是不是威脅你？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPYtCm0Ait
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXhWIP2OQA
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「才沒有...」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH2YojocYE
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObUi0w1GSR
「他是不是仗著自己是黑道世家，威脅你說如果再跟我走近就會傷害你的家人？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLm6BM0Ok7
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwUdPUcKD6
世傑低下頭。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCERRxrr4l
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa06iJ3NxYq
「是又怎樣？不是又如何？妳問了這個問題又能改變什麼？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgjsFMbgBo
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIRIYzO7CD
「你可以去和老師，又或著是警察說啊！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsQ694AuEW
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzlwfvzTfX
「老師？警察？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqUOVPgxlL
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfpmLllcTj
歐世傑冷冷笑了幾聲，又抬起頭。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1nOsAuHW4
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「那妳呢？妳不也一直都被欺負嗎？怎麼就不去找他們？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaChOoblsh
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「我......」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUGgRTNLo6
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是啊！我是個膽小鬼，不敢和任何說，也不曾與那些人抵抗過，只是一眛的默默承受，這樣什麼都無法改變。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrLEAmp0gz
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yvESwp9Fe
「你不一樣，跟我不一樣，你並不弱小，而是很勇敢、很堅強，與我不同，所以你能做到。」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FnhZ29YGZ
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但歐世傑給了我一個意料之外的答案。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgCltdBu8N
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0WYvMSLhE
「如果說，我是自願的呢？許翰彥根本就沒有威脅我，我只是假裝跟妳做朋友，現在膩了，想欺負妳找點樂呢？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNeNedZeec
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「不，你並不是這種人！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu4x0asVVj
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「我就是！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ztXNi6fTL
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他大吼。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4UGU5Kmz4
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「妳又瞭解我的什麼了！這一切，跟妳相處、跟妳當摯友的歐世傑都是我裝出來的！到底有誰會真心想跟妳這種垃圾做朋友！除了傻子以外就沒有了吧...總之我很忙，而且我現在覺得妳很煩，我再也不想看看到你！妳最好以後從我的面前消失！乾脆轉學算了！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbLAZ3pMLl
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「砰！」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWJ3egjlWe
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他說完之後，便大力關上了門。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7K3knd1Un
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ58UIDyLfz
太過分了...我知道他是為我好，才說出這種話，還要我轉學...但他不知道的是，不管到哪都是一樣的，我總是最軟弱、最好欺負的那一個，而現在，我已經改變不了，無法反抗，因為我，早就已經麻痺了，也失去了求生的意志。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxCxRJKtrg
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oP5BPBBy9
我的心好痛，像有人一直拿著斧頭砍它一般，就算我知道世傑是為我好，我還是有點恨他，恨他為什麼要用這樣的方式處理，只不過我好像也沒那個資格就是了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdTQ3f0cAa
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEPMZy1GLF
世傑和阿姨就像是我的光，我的希望，更是我的動力，因為他們，讓我有了想活下去的想法。現在，他們都不在我身邊了，我什麼都沒了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQW7WR43OW
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好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU8C4ASDWy
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我好想再看一次日出。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpeq6yYUFc
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMJXFYKPtj
我走到阿姨家門，翻牆進去，爬到了頂樓，阿姨家總共有五層樓，雖然每層的空間都不大就是了，大概跟教室的四分之一差不多，頂樓的視野總是最美的，我還小的時候，阿姨有時會帶我來這裡，我就是從那時候愛上日出的。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznaAFPsngO
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMSLuFElp8
想著阿姨，眼淚不自覺的落下，我看著夜空，雖然沒有星星，也比不上日出，但是看著它讓我感受到了自由。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhoxvgheQE
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaZkHFX5kf
清晨，火紅的太陽帶著橘黃色的雲霞升起，日出是多麼地美麗啊！不枉費我盯著天空一整晚，希望我下輩子也能夠跟它一樣綻放光明。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCXwMXtOQZ
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那些要自殺的人不是都會寫遺書或是打電話跟重要的人說說話嗎？可惜我不知到要打給誰，遺書也不知道要寫什麼，要是我打給世傑或是遺書上提到他，他和他的家人說不定真的會有危險，畢竟許翰彥可是那種做事衝動又不經大腦的人。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAFjNP97CJ
219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOPr5CfEve
我還真是可悲啊！不過沒關係，我這一生都忍那麼多次了，這一次就當是做做善事別去聯絡他了吧。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yNkh9Y6us
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人生最後看見的景色意外的還不錯。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNZ6B4Delb
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這是最後了。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqxuNSXD7G
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我站起來，縱身往下，放任自己往下沉淪，不反抗，就跟以前一樣。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrS5a2zPGB
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自殺的人想結束的不是生命，只不過是痛苦。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jqSHSI0Fc
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一個聲音在我腦海響起。219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5AbRhsix2
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「你，想復仇嗎？」219Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvUwPHbqqc
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*作品連結：
https://www.penana.com/story/130342/%E9%BB%91%E5%BD%B1
ns 15.158.61.38da2
