The Flying Chimpanzee News
Borealia Reporters
December 18 9992
Two days ago, Mt.Vicassida found itself bathed in gruesome bloodshed, for not the first time in its history. A Borealian military base, it was forcefully taken over by a group who called themselves “The Right Hand of Sol”, associating themselves with a religion that wanted nothing to do with them. Though some of their members were Solicist, the vast majority simply looked for a name in which atrocity could be done under.
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The base went mysteriously silent once a train, seen late at night and a bright gold in complexion, entered the base and left long thereafter, as said by residents of a village that lived a distance from the base.
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To add onto the oddity, the mountain did not erupt and rebuild itself on schedule this morning, prompting the Bureau of Investigation to take upon itself a check up on the mountain, and by will of the Department of Justice, the former rebel holdout and its contents. They found the mountain’s eruption schedule had been offset till’ christmas day, after which it will return to normal, but they also found- of which we should have mentioned earlier- plans to overthrow the Borealian government, and gruesomely so.
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The 400 page documents detailed a murdering of every single person whom held a gov’t position, and the replacement and reestablishment of a new government, all in the name of the “Singularity Over Life”, or Sol, as it seems to be what they are referencing, however, the rest of their religious group (the aforementioned Solicists), refuses association, and has constantly done so to rebels of this kind.
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The Bureau of Investigation has requested a “stripping” of the Vicassida Mountain base, as, in functionality, it still very much works, and that “...in the hands of those who may not have good intentions, I’m not pointing fingers, Vicassida, as of now, is a very nice starting point.” said head of the Bureau Henderson last night, just before going to bed.
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Parliament has yet to vote on the stripping of the base, and though such inaction on the landmark is not abnormal, something is expected to be done as the Royal thouself, Hezago or Escalene Borealis, supports the base’s dismantlement.
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That’s all for the evening paper, watch us live on tv!
Article written by The Flying Chimpanzee writers; Borealian Division.
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Hey! Welcome to the Borealis's list of fun facts!
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Did you know?
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The Flying Chimpanzee News Group was purchased by the Galaxan Gov’t soon after it’s leadership was assassinated by an unknown group of adversaries. It’s the country’s most reliable news source, as the government dosen’t give a flying fuck what they report, even with the substantial money they receive.
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Have a Joyous day!
