My name is Star Sparkle Cosmic Rainbow Unicorn but everyone just calls me Mary Sue. I have glowing rainbow hair, gold angel wings and I bleed sparkly pink blood and of course no one notices me. Why would they notice someone like me? I mean sometimes I see guys and gurls drool and stare at me, but they obviously want the hello kitty lunchbox I carry all the time.
Obviously.
Today I fly out the front door of my lonely bright yellow house ready to confess to my love. It's lonely because my family got adducted by fairies and never came back. But it's all good because I magically have a ton of money in my bank account for no apparent reasons.
Anyway I land elegantly behind the one I love. A playboy with periwinkle and white striped hair, violet eyes and flawless skin. He's always wears these really tight pants that are black and you can really admire his calves that way. He really was Gergous! So obviously he had a girl stuk on him as they staired lovingly into each others eyes.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I say happily as I shoved my way across vampires who were crying blood. They were the normals ones... unlike me.
Now I'm, like, crying alone in he girl's bathroom. When he comes in. I don't know his name because I've only know him for 48 hours, but he's the one I love with his periwinkle hair and muscular build.
"Star Sparkle Cosmic Rainbow Unicorn I love u! Not that girl!" He said all depressed and my heart skipped a beat. Jegus, he said my name instead of Mary Sue! He takes my slender finger kissed it with black wings bursting from his back. He cries teal blood as we kissed beautifully. And I cried normal tears from how beautiful everything is in this relation ship.
Together we fly off into the sunset that we made happen earlier with are love.
"Person I recognize. What is thy name?" He looked at me with loving eyes and said.
"Gary Stu." All sexily and stuff.
(We can agree that this is sufficiently terrible, correct?)
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