I glanced up from my homework as the door opened. Alice walked in, flooding the room with her perfumed scent. “Hello.” She spoke with a sing-songy voice.
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“Hey, Alice.” I looked back down at my homework. I was currently doing before-the-lab work.
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“So…” She sauntered to my side. I could feel her peering over my shoulder to look at my laptop. “I have something I wanna bring up with you.”
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“Hm?” I finished typing the part I was working on before turning my chair to face her. “What’s up?”
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“I have a favor to ask of you.” She gave me her best puppy-dog eyes, alerting me that she was going to ask something big.
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“Oh no.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “What is it, Alice?”
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“So…” She swayed back and forth as she spoke. “I wanna sign up for a website, but I want you to sign up with me. I think it’ll be good for you too.”
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“What exactly kind of site is this?” I chewed on my lip nervously.
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“A sugar daddy site…” She batted her eyelashes, no doubt praying for my acceptance.
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“Alice…” I sighed. “Why do I have to sign up too?”
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“Cause I think it’ll be good for you. It’ll be a good way for you to get some money and get out there, as well. You could even find your husband.”
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“I doubt that much.” I scoffed.
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“Come on, Mali.” She pouted once more. “I promise it’ll bring something good.”
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“It’ll bring a bunch of old guys trying to fuck me.” I corrected her.
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“Rich old men who want to fuck you.”
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“I don’t want to have sex for money, Alice.”
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“You don’t have to have sex, Mali. You can just go out on dates or message them or send nudes without ever having to sleep with them.”
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I sighed. “I don’t want to take some guy’s money.”
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“Why not? It’s better than having to find a job.”
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I titled my head, proving she had a point. “You really think I could get paid for dates without having sex with them?”
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“Umhm.” She nodded.
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“Even if I don’t want to send nudes?”
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“Stop being such a prude, Mali.” Alice grabbed my shoulder and shook it gently.
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I sighed. “I’m not a prude. I just don’t feel great about my body. I doubt anyone would wanna see me naked anyways.”
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“That’s totally not true. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
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“What about a girl?”
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Alice laughed. “Sure. So, are you on board?”
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I took a deep breath, pausing to think before finally answering. “Fine. I’ll make an account, at the very least.”
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“Yes!” Alice threw her arms up into the air excitedly. “Let’s do it right now!”
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“Now? I’m doing homework.”
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“It can wait.” Alice smiled widely, grabbing my phone off the desk and shuffling it into my hand.
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“Fine, fine.” I sighed, letting her win again. I unlocked my phone and waited for instructions.
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She directed me to the app she decided she wanted to use, and after waiting for the download to finish, we began to make our profiles. It started with some basic information: our birthdays and email. Both of us used our student emails to get a premium account. I felt kinda weirded out by it but didn’t mind the free upgrade. I just hoped that the reason someone wanted a college-aged person was because they wanted to help someone out, rather than wanting the youngest they could legally get.
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“Alice…am I attractive?” I looked up from my phone at her. “Since--since it’s one of the questions.”
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“Of course you are, Mali.” She smiled back at me, bouncing on her bed excitedly, no doubt still happy from convincing me to do it with her.
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“Okay. Thanks.” I looked back down at the phone and clicked the ‘attractive’ option over the established option, as I am certainly not established.
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“Men, women, or both?” I whispered to myself, glancing over at Alice. She clicked through the options, seemingly without a thought. I took a deep breath and clicked both, moving on to the next question and onto more basic stuff. Height: 5’4”. Race: mixed, specifically half caucasian, half Hispanic. Body type: curvy. Education: high school. Relationship status: single. Children: none. Smoking or drinking: not often. I clicked through them reasonably quickly due to their simplicity, and before I knew it, Alice and I were done filling to form out and had nothing left to do but wait for our acceptance to the site.
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I set my bag down and slid into my seat, checking on what my tablemate was doing. He was checking emails on his laptop. I made sure to look away as soon as I realized, not wanting to invade their privacy. I pulled my phone out to check it before class started, seeing a notification that I had been accepted to the app and already had a handful of messages. Making sure my phone was out of sight from my neighbor, I began checking the messages. There were a handful of them. One asking for more pictures, saying they’d pay for my nudes. One telling me what they’d be willing to do with me sexually in exchange for specific amounts of money. And one that didn’t seem like a real person but a bot instead. I kinda just scrolled through them and moved on, not interested in any of them.
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“Welcome, class.” I looked up as the professor spoke, locking my phone. I’d have to check the messages more thoroughly later and ask Chani what she thought before I started selling my nudes.
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I scanned the restaurant before seeing Alice and heading over to her. “Hey.” I took a seat.
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“Hey, cutie.” She smiled sweetly at me. “How was class?”
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“Fine. Long. Lots of homework to do.” I shrugged, shifting in the seat to get comfortable.
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“Did you get accepted?”
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“Yeah.” I nodded.
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“Awesome! Did you get any messages yet? I already set up a couple dates and made a hundred from lewds.”
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“Jeez, Alice.” I rubbed my arm. “You’re a hell of a businesswoman.”
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“You know it!” Alice laughed. “Have you talked to anyone yet?”
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“No. I’ve been in class.” I shook my head.
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“Then do it now!” She bounced in her seat.
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“I looked when I was in class, but nothing really interested me.” I shrugged. “I’ll keep checking the messages. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, though.”
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“Oh, okay. What is it?” She tilted her head to the side slightly.
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“Well…” I rubbed my arm nervously. “I’m pan…”
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“You think I’d care?” Alice laughed. “You shouldn’t worry about stuff like that so much. It’s not that big of a deal.”
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“Oh…okay.” I took a deep breath, disappointed by her lack of care.
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“Anyways.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s order some food.”
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The rest of dinner was mostly just Alice telling me how to market myself better to men as if that’s something I really want to do. Maybe it was because I came out to her that she didn’t want me to come off as ‘gay’ to men who are interested in me, or something. Honestly, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I listened to her as she explained how to use my pout against them, how to put perfume on certain spots to always smell delectable, and what men look for in a woman, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to actually go out of my way to do or be any of those things.
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I was walking home and had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I was already home and standing in my parking lot for some time. I sadly looked up at my dorm room building.
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Honestly, I felt defeated and off by the whole situation with Alice. I hadn’t expected things to go perfectly, but somehow her apathy towards my confession made it more painful than anything. I’m glad by all means she isn’t mad, but…why such a small, blasé reaction?
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I took a deep breath and started towards the building again and up to my room. It’s best I don’t let it bother me too much until I can bring it up with Chani and get another perceptive, in case I really am just overreacting. Even if I don’t feel like I am.
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