I was surprised to hear her humming the next morning. It was almost inaudible over the rain still pelting the windows, but it was there. She’d forgiven me, and she was humming. I’d resigned myself to never hearing that sound again, after what I’d done, and I lay still, savoring every note. At nine o’clock, the humming would stop when she opened the drapes and gave her standard greeting, and then she would start talking to try to annoy me into getting up. Little did she know that my reluctance to rise was because I looked forward to hearing her voice.
She held true to her normal routine, as I’d hoped.
“This is quite a storm,” she started, pulling my clothes from the bureau. “I used an umbrella and a coat, and I still had to change when I got here this morning.”
I pulled down the covers to look at her. It had slipped my mind to send a carriage to pick her up.
“Your hair is still wet,” I mumbled. She turned around to look at me.
“It’ll dry eventually,” she replied, setting my clothes on the bench. “Speaking of which, your laundry from yesterday should be dry. I think I was able to save some of it, but I’m not sure about the cloak yet.”
I pushed the blankets away and stretched. “I hope you don’t plan to play out on the lawn again today.”
“I had no such plans yesterday, your highness, and I’ve none today.”
“Good,” I said simply, sitting up and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.
“Prince Chevalier,” she said, and then she stopped. I met her green eyes briefly as she studied me, but I found my own gaze, and focus, wandering. The candlelight cast a soft glow across her face; her long, damp ponytail hung over her shoulder in a slightly tangled path to her waist.
“Ask your question,” I said, irritated, forcing my eyes back up to her face. I needed to get away from her, and quickly.
“Perhaps it’s best if I say nothing, your highness.”
I smirked to maintain the illusion of control. “The little dove is finally learning.”
Another cold bath this morning. I had a feeling I’d be taking a lot of those in the days to come.
For once, I had no idea what she wanted to ask me. She’d been working on managing her expressions better ever since she came here, and she was getting harder and harder to read. Although it hadn’t helped that my thoughts were elsewhere. I made many mistakes yesterday. Holding her in my arms was one thing; embracing her curled up on my lap was one thing; pinning her underneath me in bed was another entirely. If she’d run away, like I’d intended, then it would all just be a memory. But now I had that memory, and she was still here, far too close for comfort.
And, even worse, Jin was right. She was safer with me than without me. Which meant I would have to manage myself much better than this. I’d always prided myself on my self-control, but I’d never had to worry about physical desire. Appearance was not something that drew my attention, not initially. Value, worth, usefulness, these were traits I found attractive. And she had all of them, plus so much more.
I still needed to get a new mirror. That had not been my highest priority yesterday. Somehow, she’d gotten the blood out of the cracks without hurting herself, I realized as I finished getting ready. The cuts on my hands had scabbed over nicely, and the doctor had sent ointment to my room last night for me to reapply. I did so then, but I would not be doing so this morning, since I’d be wearing my gloves again. Against doctor’s orders, of course. But Ivetta didn’t need to know that.
There were days when I wouldn’t work at all, days when I would disappear into the gardens or the library and avoid everybody and everything. I wanted today to be one of those days, but the storm precluded the gardens, and Ivetta was in the library. Leon’s room had potential. Nobody would look for me there. I was curious to explore his literary collection. He probably didn’t have anything new to me, but he’d already surprised me just by having books.
He’d left his door unlocked. I let myself in and studied his bookshelves. To my pleasant surprise, there were a couple of titles that I hadn’t seen before. I picked one and retired to a lounge chair, reading undisturbed until Leon returned around lunchtime.
“Chevalier!” he exclaimed, startled by my presence. “What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked testily.
“I can see that you’re reading,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “But why here?”
“I don’t want to be disturbed.”
He grinned. “And you don’t want to be near Ivetta, is that it?”
“I want to be alone,” I said firmly.
The way he could read between the lines regarding my thoughts and feelings toward Ivetta was discomforting. Was I that obvious, or was he just exceptionally perceptive?
He chuckled. “Clavis and Luke have been looking for you.”
“I’ll see them tomorrow.”
“Are you gonna starve yourself again today?”
I closed the book and stood up. “No,” I said simply, returning the book to its spot on the bookcase. Leon followed me out into the hallway.
“Some weather we’re having.”
“It is unnecessary for you to make small talk.”
He shrugged. “Sure, but it’s unnecessary for you to stay in your head all the time.”
“You’re one to talk.”
I couldn’t count the number of times I’d seen him off on his own, staring at the sky with a look of indescribable loneliness. He’d been doing that since he was seven years old, after the knight who guarded him and the nanny who took care of him were murdered. And, though he was friendly with everybody, he never allowed anybody to get truly close to him.
We walked for a little while, and then he said quietly, “You’d behead me if I told you.”
“Then don’t.”
“Not getting soft on me, are you?” he teased.
“I need you to keep Ivetta safe,” I replied quietly.
“Yeah, I know. She went to the laundry for your clothes, and then the seamstresses to order you a new cloak, and then your room, and that’s where Luke found her. He walked her down to the library, and that’s where she’s been since then. Just in case you’re curious.”
“I don’t need a report on her every move,” I said, but I did allow myself a small smile.
“I think she’s worried about you. Luke told her he couldn’t find you,” Leon said, grinning. “Maybe she-”
“Don’t say it,” I said sharply.
The last thing I needed was more encouragement.
He sighed. “Okay, I won’t.”
I had lunch in my room, alone, and I stayed there reading until two thirty. If Ivetta was worried about me, my failure to arrive at my usual time would only concern her more. I would just have to handle her presence for the rest of the afternoon.
This was ridiculous. Nothing and nobody rattled me like her. And the way my dread and anticipation grew with each step closer to the library was disconcerting. I’d dismissed emotions as useless a long time, and never had I struggled with them as much as I did now. It would be easier if it were just one, or even two, but she seemed to be triggering every possible feeling all at once, all the time.
Like now, when anticipation quickly overwhelmed dread as I pushed the library door open. But when I walked through the door and saw her sitting on a sofa with Yves, irritation leaped to the forefront. I pushed it away, inwardly scolding myself. They were eating chocolate cake, the cake Yves had said he was making for her by way of thanks for my honest conversation with him last night. I had nothing to worry about, and I had no business worrying, either.
But then she turned to look at me, and I saw relief in her eyes and a blush on her cheeks. The irritation returned, stronger than ever, tinged by jealousy. That blush was characteristic of her embarrassment when I teased her. What was she doing, showing it to Yves?
I changed course toward the seating area instead of disappearing into my back room. Yves was looking at her curiously, as if he didn’t know why she was blushing like that, either. The jealousy faded away as I realized that whatever Yves had said or done, the result was unintentional.
“Prince Luke has been looking for you, your highness,” she said, setting her plate down.
“Finish that,” I instructed, stopping her before she could stand up to get my tea. I sat in a chair opposite her and Yves, and Yves turned a quizzical gaze on me as I served myself a slice of cake.
“If anybody asks, I’m not here,” I said firmly, looking from her to Yves and back again. Her blush deepened as my eyes met hers, and she looked quickly down at her plate.
Was she just embarrassed to be caught receiving a gift from Yves? I had teased her mercilessly the last time he’d given her something, come to think of it.
“It seemed like it was important, your highness,” she said, focusing on her cake as the blush spread.
“Are you telling me how to do my job?” I asked, trying not to smile. Whatever the reason, I was finding her rosy cheeks as irresistible as ever.
She shook her head, still not looking at me. “No, Prince Chevalier, I would never presume to do such a thing. But he might come by again, so maybe it would be best if you ate that in your library.”
Trying to get rid of me. And she was practically squirming in her seat as she tried not to look at me.
“You may be right,” I commented, smirking in amusement, but Luke was the last person on my mind right now. I glanced at Yves. He was looking from her to me in confusion.
“Well, if neither of you are having any more, I’ll just take this,” Yves said, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.
“No, Prince Yves,” she said quickly, setting down her empty plate and beating his hand to the cake. “You’ve almost dropped it once,” she reminded him. “And Prince Luke asked if I would bring snacks to Prince Chevalier’s office later. Would it be alright if I took this to Prince Leon’s office and invited Prince Luke to have some?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Yves said hesitantly. “Are you okay? You look kind of flushed.”
“I’m fine, your highness,” she said, her voice a little more high-pitched than normal. “Maybe I just need some water. I’ll be back in a few minutes with your tea, Prince Chevalier. Would you like any, Prince Yves?” She threw the question back over her shoulder, already hurrying away.
“No, thanks,” Yves called. He stared at the door for a moment after it closed behind her, and then he turned to me. “What was that all about?”
I shrugged, unable to hide my smile. “Was she like that when you came?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Not until I told her that the cake was a thank you for prompting our little talk yesterday. What’s so funny?”
It was the beignet, I realized, and I was barely able to restrain my chuckling. My talking to Yves had been the condition by which she would let me feed her a beignet, and the mere thought of that little tease had flustered her.
“I may have an idea,” I said, setting my empty plate on the coffee table. “Do you think you can manage these dishes?” I asked bemusedly.
He scowled at me. “Of course I can. I’m not that clumsy.”
I stood up and left for my private library without another word. The door closed behind me, and the chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. She had been so embarrassed that she couldn’t even look at me. I could picture her there by the bookshelf, her face bright red even though she’d allowed me to back her into it, the way her green eyes had widened when I held the beignet to her lips. Had that so affected her that she couldn’t even stand to have me look at her when she ate? Was she that unused to flirting of any kind?
I suddenly wished that I hadn’t finished my cake. It would have been amusing to try that tease again.
Maybe Leon was right. And maybe I didn’t dislike the idea as much as I should.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bh5WdbYVe
