I keep seeing him with Oliver, and it’s like a dagger to the chest every time. The way Eliot laughs at Oliver’s jokes, the way they talk to each other like they’ve known each other forever like I don’t even exist. I used to be the one who knew him the best. I was the one he came to when things were messy and when he needed someone to just listen. But now… it’s like I’m invisible.
I’ll catch them in the hallways between classes, and it feels like I’m walking through this glass wall that I can’t break through. They’ll be standing there, whispering about something stupid probably something I’d never care about and Eliot will glance at me for half a second, but it’s different now. The look in his eyes isn’t the same. It’s like he’s looking at a stranger. He’s… distant.
I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know when I stopped being the most important person in his life. Maybe I should’ve said something sooner. Maybe I should’ve told him how I felt, but how could I? I’m not one of those people who wears their heart on their sleeve. I don’t even know if I could say it out loud. I just want him to know.
I want him to know that I miss him. I miss the old us.
And it’s weird because… I think I might hate Oliver. But I don’t. Not really. I can’t. I don’t know if I hate him or if I’m just jealous. I know it’s not his fault. He’s just well, he’s Oliver. He’s charming. He’s funny. He’s everything I’m not. He’s everything Eliot deserves.
But I still can’t stand it. I can’t stand the way they walk together like they’re a team. And I’m stuck on the sidelines, watching them play their game.
I feel like I’m drowning in this, and it’s suffocating me. I never thought I’d end up here standing in the hallway, watching my best friend walk away from me. But maybe I’m not the person he needs anymore. Maybe I’ve never been.
I know I should let go. I know I should just let him be happy. But then again, what if I’ve been happy with him all along? What if I’ve never wanted anything more than to just be his?
I guess I’ll never know, will I?13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWij9zpQGS3
