The excitement of the new chapter in Singapore lasted only for a day. After that, everything seemed to spiral. The emotional weight hit me hard. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I felt lost, like I was suffocating under the pressure of everything happening around me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the overwhelming sadness that consumed me. I found myself crying uncontrollably, and no matter how much my husband comforted me, the pain didn’t go away.
In just a week, I made the difficult decision to return to Malaysia. The thought of leaving my husband felt like a gut-wrenching blow. I cried for hours, torn between the love for him and the fear of my own emotions that I couldn’t control. Why was this happening to me? Why couldn’t I handle this? Why did everything feel so heavy and impossible?
As the day of my departure neared, my heart felt like it was breaking into pieces. The thought of leaving him, even temporarily, felt unbearable. But at that moment, I felt like I had no choice—like I was breaking inside, and I needed space to heal.
The journey back to Malaysia was the hardest part. My heart was so heavy, I couldn’t stop crying. Each mile I traveled, I kept asking myself, “Am I failing as a wife? Why can’t I handle this?” I couldn’t understand why this emotional turmoil was taking over my life. I had left the person I loved the most behind, and all I could do was cry, feeling lost and defeated.
When I finally arrived at my hometown, it felt like I was carrying an unbearable weight on my shoulders. I couldn’t shake the feeling of failure. Was I weak for not being able to adjust? Was I failing him? And worst of all, why did everything seem so difficult when all I wanted was to be happy with him?
I didn’t have answers yet, but I knew the road ahead wasn’t going to be easy. My heart ached, but in the midst of the pain, I had to find a way to keep going.
When I reached my hometown, I couldn't stop thinking about him. The distance felt even more painful, and I felt guilty for leaving him behind in Singapore. I kept asking myself if I had made the right choice. But despite the confusion and the overwhelming emotions, I found comfort in being surrounded by my family. They were my support, my anchor, and I knew I had to stay strong for them.
I kept praying, hoping that this period of separation would soon be over. I missed him so much—his smell, the warmth of his embrace, the little moments we shared. Every corner of my heart ached for him, and no matter how much I tried to hide the pain, it was always there, lurking beneath the surface.
But for my family’s sake, I put on a brave face. I laughed, I engaged in family activities, and I did my best to pretend I was okay. But inside, I was counting the days, praying for the time when I could see him again.
Then, one day, I received the most wonderful news—the border was finally opening in three months! I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It felt like God had heard my prayers, and my heart was filled with hope again.
He had started looking for a house in Johor Bahru, so we could finally be together. I felt like I was dreaming. Even though we would still be living in separate places for a little while longer, the fact that he was close enough to visit, just a short drive away, filled me with excitement.
It was a huge step forward. A bridge between our hearts was slowly being built, and I knew that we were getting closer to the life we had always dreamed of. I felt hopeful again, like everything was finally going to fall into place. Despite the trials, I knew that our love was strong, and I believed that soon we would be able to live together, build our home, and start a new chapter of our lives.
I couldn’t wait to see what the future held for us. The pain of the past few months began to fade, replaced by a new sense of anticipation and excitement.
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