【45. Secret Angel 】717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN0OKNe0sP
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死亡是一種哲學。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUtSZfLAnC
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不知哪個哲學家曾經說過：717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44vbl2DoWx
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如果世上沒有任何人再記得你，這就是最終極的死亡了。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YjBFLhVnB
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如果按照這個想法，我應該已經死咗十世。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwtezNL6Rv
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但現實只是，我連尋死的勇氣都欠奉。又或者這樣說，喜歡余青玲的王傲風已經死了，如今的我徒具空殻，死與不死又有何分別？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAYn8xPVCm
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接下來的好幾個星期，我都無地自容得不敢再面對她。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoct9OisQd
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昔日掛在臉上的笑容，如今已不再復見。雖然她嘴裡說著「我冇事」、「唔緊要」，每天都認真地上課、抄筆記，原本做社務的時間用來了上補習班，功課的水準不退反增⋯⋯但我看得出，她只是在裝堅強。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl88Bp5LyW3
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我知道自己已沒有資格待她好，但有一個人可以。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4VEiz7s8a
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「咦？咩嚟㗎？阿儀，係咪你㗎？」阿玲揉著眼睛，拿起了一張白卡紙。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU993cX94BJ
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「吓？唔係啊⋯⋯」哈比人應道，一副心不在焉的樣子。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZGxH3V8N5
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阿玲皺一皺眉，看到了卡紙上面有一行行的小字，然後笑了一下。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC1vxS61Xm
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這就足夠了。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2kqrRVOJw
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之後數個星期，在放聖誕假前，都有一個人在她的桌上放了一張白卡紙，有時還會附上一排她最愛的朱古力，是那個人上化學堂時偷聽到的牌子，可惜那朱古力經常缺貨，他花掉了一整個下午的時間走遍全元朗，才能搶到這麼一排；買不到的時候，那個人就會用烏龍茶代替。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREBl6R35cj
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那個人不是想表現出自己的好，他只是想阿玲可以因為他自己所做的一點小事，而變得開心一點點。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPVsEtJ8hI
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後來我從哈比人口中得知，那個人會署名自己為 SA 。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN937JbDjR
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SA，Secret Angel ，祕密的守護天使。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVOaJHtGEk
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自從SA 出現了之後，阿玲似乎很苦惱，明明班會沒有搞 Secret Angel ，怎麼會有這些白卡紙的出現？SA 的好意，她又應不應該收下呢？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPexh4GFjM
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「阿風？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6WfnOAEe4
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「嗯？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidYhYQSLiA
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「你知唔知邊個送呢啲嘢俾我㗎？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1Vs7lVx6L
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「唔知喎⋯⋯又會有人咁無聊都有嘅哈哈⋯⋯」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcBDVybjkH
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「咁⋯⋯如果你知道佢係邊個，你記得要話我知啊！佢係咁送嘢俾我都覺得有啲唔好意思⋯⋯」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbQsH9MeDc
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「哦⋯⋯好啊⋯⋯係呢，佢其實寫咗啲咩㗎？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSmesmWZZy
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「其實都冇咩嘅，佢成日都叫我加油同俾心機囉，仲話好鍾意我笑嘅樣，明明就好樣衰哈哈⋯⋯」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUmGNmk5XZ
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「哦⋯⋯原來係咁⋯⋯」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonAbI9XAi8
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北風正宣告聖誕節的來臨；天氣很冷，但依然無法影響聖誕聯歡會的熱鬧氣氛，全校上下都高興地慶祝著，已然忘記了陸運會時的不愉快事件。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHrVNoKLOz
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當我回到班房的時候，其他同學已經將班房裝飾得美輪美奐，金色的鍛帶、七彩的聖誕小球、白板上的聖誕老人鹿車圖⋯⋯甚至還有人不知從哪裡弄來一棵聖誕樹，把它妥當地放在課室一隅。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZXC4kcbWG
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「阿玲佢今日冇返？」我隨口抓了身旁的同學問道。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS4oqOY3Oy
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「吓？阿玲病咗喎，今朝佢同我講佢病到起唔到身㖭，」他擺出一副「乜你唔知咩」的樣子。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMgLJf2JzY
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「吓⋯⋯聖誕聯歡會先嚟病？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrMrDilXYA
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「係囉⋯⋯你係關心人嘅就探下人啦！」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnbwJHVZ4M
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「唔⋯⋯睇下點先喇。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBgvq5BlKd
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在洋溢歡樂氣氛的班房裡，一班男生正在猜拳，決定哪個勇者吃下某女生所造的綠色流心地獄薄荷朱古力。不幸的Ivan 猜輸了，只好在其他男人起鬨後吞下朱古力，才一嚥下喉嚨，他的臉便𣊬間變青，差點昏倒。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK61rZxTci6
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我陪笑了幾下之後，大家便一起吃比薩、飲汽水、交換禮物⋯⋯反正就是派對的例行公事，然後主席忽然舉手，提議我們影一張班相。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GQ7i1OXes
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女生在前排互相比高，男生在後排嬉笑怒罵，老師坐在中間沒他們好氣。整個畫面的色彩是何等斑爛好看，彷佛是用青春畫出來的油彩畫，美得連彩虹也羨慕。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4kq32YsYR
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而我是一幅黑白色的水墨畫。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IALxjJbMG
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我不禁想起在中三最後的上課日，同樣有人不知何時準備了三角架和專業相機，興高采烈地提議影班相。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIqhgnH7vi
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「好啊！」熱情的阿玲第一個衝了出去，甚至還指揮大家推開礙事的桌子椅子。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODqyXQ6VKP
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「嚟！高嘅企前面，更高嘅企後面！」阿玲振臂高呼，召集大家來到白板前方。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamkaImBmuc
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於是全班三十多人便壓縮只有班房三分之一的空間，一時之間摩肩接踵，大家都能感受到彼此的鼻息。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpcl6cLARj
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班主任提著椅子，坐在中間位置，旁邊便是阿玲。幸好我個子不高，一早就被人拉到前排，湊巧就站在阿玲旁邊。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHrCDxPzpM
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她身上傳來迷人的花香，香得令我的心跳漏了一拍，讓我不禁懷疑，這氣味是會令人上癮的。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7vu3Ad8iM
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正當我仍陶醉於那香氣的時候，相機忽然發出頻密的閃光。猶在夢中的我連忙擠出一個笑容，但快門早已掠下我的倉皇。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmA7acKgGsX
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「王、王傲風，你、你做咩⋯⋯喊啊？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGpdjxjr4Z
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「吓？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBSZ1tDSpX
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拿著相機的Ivan 呆呆地看著我，一副不知所措的樣子。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey2w59ES5O
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我摸一摸自己的臉，竟然是濕潤的，眼眶不知何時已熱了起來，淚水如決堤般潸潸落下。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyPU7vJQsa
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我的淚容很快就引起了同學和班主任的注意，周圍漸漸多了交頭接耳的聲音。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTzY14oQQ1
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「你做咩啊？唔好喊啦。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGdyrNwBmX
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「要唔要紙巾？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9NBrrFFZ9
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「哎啊⋯⋯講下發生咗咩事啦！」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh3jQQunEZ
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717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzVkSszLAf
此時班主任向我遞出了一張紙巾，可我已控制不住自己，一手撥開了她的手，拿起了書包衝出班房，大叫：「唔好意思！我想早退！」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eTwENINQV
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSfHz0M2Vp
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jLVX0fyuI
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IwiEqbPM7
我不管撞跌了多少枱櫈，只管一昧向前衝，淚水不斷往後灑著，黑壓壓的一大片悶在心頭，想吐卻吐不出來。我的雙腿就像著了火，唯有一直向前跑，才能舒服一點點。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z7qO7Y8ze
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SpUGwr1sp
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzRwNn0p6I
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7njNEmIPGb
原來無論我多麼努力多麼渴望多麼壓抑，我都沒辦法放下她。愈是想忘記她，她就愈常出現在我的腦海裡，就像我在中學裡的所有回憶，都有著她的痕跡，而且永不磨滅。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9ICuyIIvI
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCo5hh28qKt
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik2gbmjPhN
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTU34tBzwp
我隨即跳上了一架巴士，竭力抑壓著想哭的衝動，不想任何人見到我的窘態。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5XsMDrpXd
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OxqSayvgO
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vAiOLa4Uw
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvztX6FaSs
然後，不知是緣分所繫，抑或是命運的安排，我隨意下車的地方竟就是阿玲所住的屋宛。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8cZPM3d4E
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuLhSX8I49
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX0o79Futm
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZlxuhEusC
我猶豫了片刻，結果還是打開了大門。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZW1l6KVW1
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNtCjWhhUf
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkIu28sdl9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUZlLClI4S
世界是涼薄的，連大堂的冷氣都開得特別大，等待升降機的時間也特別長。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT47gCURyD
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGyRcmhS5I
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMK02PjfOJ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ0Kg7kiMo
隨著金屬版上顯示的數字不斷的跳動增加，我的腦袋也漸漸變得混沌、緊張。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Wppw6jNY
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6l9D09UEE
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZUiHuufu6
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR16J3g5Tp
我記得⋯⋯佢係住呢個單位。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCsUKfipLi
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhJLICFieB
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmxIXuQ8Ck
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpS0ev2r4U
㩒響門鐘，睇下佢有冇事就走啦⋯⋯717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq724zI0od
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQWmmT829C
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7RzQ9Rve9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXjtytdryY
我這樣想著，手指卻凝在了門鐘前兩公分的位置動彈不得。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul6cUNv87Y
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59IF9pcdJj
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcrGs9MuUR
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeT0D6nKZb
我做不到。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qvVmwjHPk
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2IPSax1Xf
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ccnaWcDWC
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCoNGLhpey
我說不出原因，但我就是做不到，我無法鼓起勇氣面對她。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI4ipRICdm
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTqxf9W2kl
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGlDbtmrWC
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQSsf7gWE1
於是我收回按鈴的手，轉而往書包裡探，然後拿出了一枝筆和一張白卡紙。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri2tLGKh9N
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI8dwiAl9g
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L6WGSMAPE
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzATZ2xOpz
//717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XPS3YYFpQ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBcRZJk6ab
親愛的阿玲：717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HsMCTYdiC
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3wIpcGpGO
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXjI0jlfvN
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF136AHMuwR
估唔到咁健康嘅你竟然病咗！仲冇得嚟聖誕聯歡 T.T 不過唔緊要啦！我哋玩得好開心啊！你都要快啲好返知唔知！我哋下學期再見啦 ！^_^ 717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0EWMR4VsS
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ildAfHRz
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37hjHHOm2S
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWkvglFtAR
S.A. 717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrisKOjxxq5
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSWabcgI9i
//717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXCGQK99oD
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ8rHMPeGK
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuywHiygMos
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRvWusyN38
寫完之後，我覺得好像還漏了些甚麼，於是再最後加上了一句：717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusaf6S9wG6
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnWODYMDRD
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4jOEsZ8W6
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lZZGncPax
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02lxzKP13z
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCGlhjZ1P6
P.S. I love you717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6Mn2cby69
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCbtM9Yh4G
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRD9WxBzWn
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV2fwcVXXS
我把白卡紙攝進門縫，無聲地離開。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKvGr6lp8j
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPhVY617Rn
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCoqGkfyYF
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbO66MaZkA
原來我真的是想走的，可是走到樓下時，卻有種沒有由的依依不捨。我站在原地看著阿玲的單位，總覺得她會探出頭來跟我say hi。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1EyRftISx
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKKDd9FNZY
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl3Oi8M4AM
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5E63EiVGR
最後當然沒有。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7sL7FHD8H
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyfVTAmp5X
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY5rhL5jjf
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBcDQTq3Wl
我苦笑了一下，跳上了回家的巴士，撥了一通電話。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99z4RgSkZd
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cQ5BjMAyy
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHROf8wKJY
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJsCJgZQ50
「喂？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNLjwv8ZvF
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtumQQEifzS
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdobCQOTjEI
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LcIoU6h4S
「咩事啊，阿哥？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu63K9fjR7j
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYUhrqDnX7
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo7mHYPxvI
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx0O9U4SHI
「你夜晚得唔得閑啊，我唔開心。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa197j4X4zu
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIrqNGKdyI
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBTcPENcqF
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL08tqN2TGU
「好、好啊⋯⋯」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TNJZlKMs6
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzM9uT1pmO
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaloP0hkTJS
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwyPmFkEpQ
掛斷電話之後，我漫無目的地望向窗邊外的街道。巴士剛好來到了元朗的舊區，陳舊的大廈外牆有如煙燻的痕跡，老店的招牌銹跡斑駁，搖搖欲墜的燈牌上站著幾隻小鳥。眾所周知，這裡是眾多男性放班後的尋歡之地，但正值下午時份，粉色的螢光燈還未是時候亮起。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFomdOrTgTM
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoI9uGS1gu
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi1XstAnLZ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkr5tIyvGf
我的視線隨著車廂左搖右擺而晃動，沒有看清掠過的街景，卻捕捉到一個眼熟的身影，正與身旁的男人一起走進一棟大廈。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvakc9q7oN
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ3aesJOZa
.717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGPwjFeYEb
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxwnYXLYkB
是⋯⋯老媽？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ09b4CfsH
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