《奧普斯》是全球當今最火紅的虛擬實境網遊，風格多元化，不僅有峰迴路轉的任務劇情，還有大大小小的支線任務，並開放玩家個人角色的任務主線，多種身世設定與隱藏任務，要奇葩有奇葩，要狗血有狗血，天雷滾滾，包准虐身又虐心……呃，是保證全身心都能沐浴在充滿愛（奸情）與光明（吃瓜看戲）的正能量當中。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oP9PVtSrk
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbllNLYWciq
除此之外，官方還邀請多位代言明星擔任NPC角色，吸引了大批死忠（腦殘）粉的喜愛（課金），其中自然也有瑞樹一直都很欣賞的偶像妲米歐。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeKbPoV9JM
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlPW6wVLZa
總之，玩過的人都說好，還有人表示自從玩了《奧普斯》每天都會被豬隊友笑醒。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCATPsVs86
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsikuzXUyM
於是，在周遭一干親友與同事都陸續跳坑後，葉雨燕與瑞樹兩口子也免不了趕一趟流行，成了《奧普斯》的玩弄對……呃，玩家。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0ZR2B58gc
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp9lPLDkmb
他們的朋友知道後，便立馬發出誠摯的邀請，來一波自家公會好棒棒的宣傳。於是，連續兩聲「叮」響，就在《風雪千秋》全體公會成員的耳邊響起，緊接著，兩排亮黃亮黃的系統公告跳上公會頻道。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7vWPPUTJI
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplq9yhfvHO
「系統：恭喜《風雪千秋》又撈到一名玩家《團團一棵樹》加入公會。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPR2iiIJqw
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsRifz0w7u
「系統：恭喜《風雪千秋》又撈到一名玩家《圓圓一片葉》加入公會。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSW6pEJQqo
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp4q90Ow3c
公會元老《嚕人甲》打開語音，照慣例帶領公會裡的熊孩子們來喊一波，「歡迎新成員……欸？團團跟圓圓？怎麼來了對熊貓？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0GOEISJT6
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNVajGVid3
遊戲名為《圓圓一片葉》的葉雨燕：「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCCoXvhLcQ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGAeGRaKAx
遊戲名為《團團一棵樹》的瑞樹：「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq77HqPCou
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cCaVCE0pv
「你才熊貓，你全家都熊貓！」葉雨燕怒地反擊回去，就關掉公會語音頻道，將貓皇的王（傲）霸（嬌）之（任）氣（性）發揮到底——雖然熊貓並不是貓。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3Nw9SG9cv
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtYqmkK475
瑞樹用拳頭抵住嘴輕咳，另一手在公會頻道裡丟出幾個笑臉表符，大致應付一下大家熱烈的歡迎兼吐槽，之所以不開口用語音，是因為他怕一講話就會笑出聲，不過眼底的促狹笑意仍沒逃過戀人雪亮的雙眼。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrenyyBumh9
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iSxNYCSIH
葉雨燕氣極，伸出貓皇之爪，往瑞樹的手臂怒撓一把，「笑屁？都是你硬要跟我取相似的名，團團一棵樹是什麼鬼？好好的樹葉都變熊貓了！老子哪裡像熊貓？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKHrP8oc6S
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxcSr8BpF5
瑞樹真是哭笑不得了。所謂的硬要相似，不過就是自己跟著「一片葉」而取了「一棵樹」，「團團」二字還是葉子幫他加上去的，為的是湊個一對團圓，卻沒想到會反被人聯想到熊貓，如今戀人惱羞成怒，他也只好乖乖背鍋。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1374ucsyur
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01mWSr3M84
沒辦法，誰叫他選擇騎士這個專業扛仇的職業？1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst2OiakvX3
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0WecYshfX
「是是是，我的錯。」瑞樹失笑握住爆怒喵的爪子，將葉雨燕往懷裡一拉，先來一波抱緊處理，柔聲說：「熊貓也很可愛啊，圓圓胖胖又毛茸茸，天天黏在一塊吃吃喝喝，無憂無慮，等我們以後老了，也像牠們這樣，不是很好？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF9pjvZYBV
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVzIA8ifqw
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOhHnND5gg
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupiP6KqZJS
一起變老什麼的，葉雨燕冷不防被來這麼一招，頓時微紅了臉，再怒傲嬌一把，「你才自己吃得又圓又胖，朕只會越老越英俊瀟灑，就算做熊貓也是最帥的一隻！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXenzknV2ep
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGYzmQ3FPC
瑞樹再次失笑，「是，你是世上最帥的熊貓。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUirFwJ4X0u
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVdV3sEdJQ
從此，樹葉組就變成了熊貓組。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66xS4dwjic
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UnvvqMJ6x
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ex3LE20Qg
在經歷過無數次讓人想怒退坑又被吊起胃口忍不住繼續坑的辛酸血淚史後，兩人終於成了百級玩家，也在各種奇葩的天雷任務後，總算成功獲得情侶關係，不僅有情侶專屬頻道，還有《愛的呼喚》可召喚彼此瞬移。同時，他們也幸運地觸發一個特殊情侶任務，獲得特殊情侶技能——《我要%%%》1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo04JnxLxCx
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mX1rB7si9
這個技能很特別，不同於一般有浮動按鈕可以按的技能，它必須要用語音大喊技能名稱才能發揮作用。於是，他們就找了隻沒人打的野生Boss來試驗一下。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oOoVtpcMh
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7y1lpG9Sf
身為暴力法師的葉雨燕一邊朝Boss丟去各種攻擊法術，一邊盯著瑞樹的血條，在血條降到30%時，就立刻字正腔圓地喊：「我要percent percent percent！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoKlAsodjJ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrAcyjJlQA
然並卵，啥屁都沒發生，同時間，被揍到火大的Boss大喝一聲，揮出狂化的一拳，他們就只好雙雙撲街，又一次獲得《同命鴛鴦》的成就。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWorMV0End
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnI0gGsxfH
「這什麼破技能？怎麼都沒用？」葉雨燕惱火地打開技能說明，仔細檢查自己是否漏掉什麼訊息。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3blObdxQL
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpSpyueIrC
瑞樹也一臉凝重地研究，只見上頭寫著：「《我要%%%》——在情人的血量降到30%後，可以50%的魔法能量為代價，為對方補滿血量，並有一段時間持續回血。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4L7MrzfjZ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj9Vpac7iV
「看起來沒問題啊。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4jQDSuX9D
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1VipVSwGc
兩人前前後後對照了老半天，依然不得其解，只好召來GM。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcLXXhnhIa
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40lLmhmH6P
GM487耐心聽完他們的問題後，笑得好不親切，說：「兩位親愛的玩家，該技能沒有Bug，請玩家務必準確唸出技能名稱，才能成功啟動招式喔。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhax2cCQ0HO
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8sbqwhiH9
葉雨燕不解地皺起眉頭，「我明明照著念啦，難不成還有什麼……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgsW89VnyD
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHhdhwOfqc
話未說完，他就突然想到「％」這個數學符號，貌似還有另一種唸法。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ73t0xeZNe
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUmYVqpsOE
來自日本的瑞樹，對中文的博大精深還是圖樣圖森破。他非常誠懇且極具學術精神地提議：「難道是要唸percentage？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1dWpLhh5o
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH0W13YYYV
葉雨燕一臉糾結，「以奧普斯的尿性……應該不是。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsqoIlmGT7
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCDEWzN7PY
GM487非常聰慧，一聽他這麼說，就揚起和藹的姨媽笑，「來，唸看看。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2CTdjywej
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBM6FFD0EvI
葉雨燕黑著臉，掙扎了良久，感覺他們好不容易拿到一個可以互相補血、再也不需要找奶媽當電燈泡的情侶技能，就這麼棄之不用，實在可惜，便只好頂著熱辣的臉，咬牙低聲唸：「我要……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOFmNfpWHY
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX8JZ7kmp2
聲音太小，技能沒反應。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiJCxlcrlM
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmTxwkpIgE
GM487：「要大聲一點，讓系統聽到才行喔。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYjPfyDl81
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB79Mt7TaFN
泥馬！系統連他們講悄悄話都可以偷聽到了，哪裡需要他喊多大聲？1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1n8biH1aMo
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosiZsyPxPj
然而，人在系統下，不得不低頭。葉雨燕只好豁出去地喊：「我要啪啪啪！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mB4tiPypU
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH27CZ6tw3n
「叮」地一聲輕響，一陣白光在瑞樹的身上閃過，回復活點後沒恢復多少的血條就迅速填滿，葉雨燕的藍條也瞬間降了一大半，同時間，兩人的表情也定格了，一個是恥囧，一個是驚呆。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnQlAL7aoW
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxEdp5g6KU
臥槽！這什麼破技能名？遊戲裡還有未成年玩家你們知不知道？╰(〒皿〒)╯1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11CykgW3rR
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgAAA5OyDG
系統當然知道，但是系統不聽。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfN7vlhvic
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Zqnu7HJz
於是，樹葉熊貓組就這麼走上了歡樂的啪啪啪之旅。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkO6GgK5nuq
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamXFglUY5C
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39wh27ccWi
一日，兩人闖進一個新發現的小副本，就在這個渺無人煙只有滿地怪趴趴走的封閉空間裡，放飛自我地啪來啪去，順利地清空整個副本，準備單挑最終關卡的大Boss。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcKAfGd4wZ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cUuTXQGIo
這個Boss真的好大好粗，隨便一捅，就能讓人情不禁地噴出好多好多……血。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT04fVchrpb
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EWxapCy7T
但好在這個Boss是物理近戰系，只要保持一段距離，就能避開所有攻擊，偶有範圍攻擊時，還會有至少十秒宛如當機的讀條，簡直就是給遠攻職業單吃到飽的完美肥料。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBiTSNo4eq
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b0B43BCAL
於是，瑞樹難得放下騎士坦的工作，蹲在一旁當起小白臉，坐看戀人操著風騷的走位，以遛風箏法滿場遛Boss，邊勤奮截圖，妥妥就是個懂得幫老婆拍照打卡的好腦攻。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpTRvPU5Do
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxwujujucW
冰雹火雨交錯，電光地裂轟隆，葉雨燕憑著精靈族天生敏捷的身手，穿梭在房內的石柱中，巧妙避開Boss搥落的武器，並不時給自己上防護盾，又不停給Boss丟去各種帶遲緩、暈眩等負效果的法術，終於，十五分鐘後，Boss轟然倒地，系統也「叮」一聲地給予大量獎勵，還送上一個「我遛故我在」的稱號。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbkWF2FSOR
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozKF9c5QBl
「哈哈，叫我爸爸。」葉雨燕一腳踩在Boss的屍體身上，非常地得意。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYzq3iEg1b
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PgUcsxp71
「爸爸」是近來火紅的網路用語，專門用來膜拜厲害的高手或大佬級的人物。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOesJ7R5bN
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR2JKUY248
於是，瑞樹拍拍手，愛極他這得意的小模樣，寵溺笑道：「是是，爸爸最厲害了。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0BibJdXDr
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjnkWp0DgR
就在這個時候，系統忽然「叮」了一聲，丟出一句炸彈：「父子關係成立。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagGhNz6b39
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt5BOAkS8n
父子……什麼？1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhkVxnRWyh
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYQyYYeWeZ
兩人一臉蒙逼，到底是花黑噴？1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVp6IH2y5O
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztvVyHNYER
正當他們還搞不清楚狀況時，就又聽系統宅宅音響起了，「叮！因為兩位的關係錯綜複雜，既是父子又是情侶，故觸發了特殊隱藏情侶任務——不能說的禁忌之戀之《爸爸你好棒～♥》，詳情歡迎到愛神殿找聖誕老人洽詢喔，科科。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp4uMbPowm
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb52X8x5mWl
葉雨燕怒了，「這什麼傷風敗俗的垃圾遊戲？我要蒐證舉告！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BAi74Onqv
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGfLsYUWam
「冷靜冷靜。」瑞樹趕忙抱緊處理，內心也是哭笑不得。自從他們跳了《奧普斯》這個掉節操的無底坑後，就沒有一天不受到三觀上的各種挑戰與衝擊，簡直就像是來修身養性鍛鍊心智的，搞得他們現在面對棘手案件的耐心也提高了不少。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2SYXhDCtl
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayrnjyvgIw
由於這個特殊情侶任務並非是必接的，只是不做的話，可能會有些許連鎖反應，兩人針對那個「些許」討論一番，猜想應該沒什麼大不了的，就不管了，照常探險、打怪、刷材料，還不忘秀恩愛，現實裡秀完，換上遊戲秀，大包大包的狗糧拼命發，發得全公會的單身狗都狗眼汪汪地表示——這對熊貓男男實在喪心病狂，必遭報應！1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONkwmWRFKZ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA7wBYBxRb
然後，報應就來了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiibbdEAw1
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YfnSZfRMk
正因為他們無視特殊任務的小小疏失，一樁慘案就這麼毫無預警地發生了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqW5pdZGvu
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7gQwZDb6B
「咦？遊戲盔壞了嗎？我怎麼看不清楚你？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSSm8jd35V
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPXc9F4u60
前一秒還好好的，突然間，他們眼中的彼此都變成了滿滿的馬賽克。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdsikSBNyz
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWh9snmePM
兩人登出遊戲，拿下遊戲盔檢查了下，再戴上去重新登入，發現他們不管是看誰都很正常，但一將目光往彼此移去，就會瞬間被打上馬賽克，從頭到腳，無一遺落。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN7BBI3azt
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUItxcId7Xz
於是，他們又叫出了GM。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyf9H5AoCsQ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpLCmjMmtn
GM942聽完了問題，以一雙火眼金睛往四周瀏覽了遍，看到一隻小浣熊精正倒掛在樹上口水搭搭地盯著對街的燒烤店，就了然道：「兩位的遊戲數據一切正常，並無Bug，會出現馬賽克的狀況，是因為附近有未成年NPC或未成年玩家。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3GxU8b2Nj
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtNpCQZ74i
樹葉熊貓組：「？？？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobkBOIT7t3
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3q6T5eKGX
GM942只好再解釋，並且表情有些微妙，「兩位是……咳，有戀愛關係的父子，這個比較不適宜讓未成年接觸，因為我們《奧普斯》真的是非常健康清純的正經遊戲，所以在必要時刻，需針對變……咳，較特殊的個案做打碼處理。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwGMazgXtY
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhzJJJKUbA
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtu660XxHj
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg7AcIWr9N
好清純好健康好正經喔，你那個「變」後面是想接什麼？（╯‵□′）╯︵┴─┴ 1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zWB0xTVfs
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ344vvynyC0
葉雨燕壓下吐槽，問：「那要碼也是他們碼我們，哪有我們碼彼此的？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiOrhsvFu8
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZGsgSZBqE
GM942就一臉獵奇地說：「臥槽，難道你們看著馬賽克也親得下去？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16DUci28D6
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrKp9Db34o
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhaGZmNrpp
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnM3Fx7ibV
好像還真的不行。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87OlK1pq6O
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenxO3DOaVV
於是，GM942挖了挖鼻孔，有點像在看智障的神情，賤賤地說：「而且讓他們碼你們，不就讓大家都知道你們不倫了嗎？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFnbfHPXr2
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmsGapzIc9
馬的垃圾遊戲！不倫泥馬！1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP69alvZw3
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBvQFFpDj1
葉雨燕忍無可忍，挽起袖子就要衝上前，「不行，這太欠扁了！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMRtXrKvfj
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIT8UCbTLC
瑞樹按下他，「等等。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwktjNtRnV
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UWZxpOSOY
「等啥啊？」葉雨燕化身喵斯拉怒吼。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TQNMJY6ZG
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RxHUrgbHn
「你血薄。」瑞樹拔刀，「我來。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVQG1jYjVb
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIrUU8VdKb
GM942立馬嚇得嚶嚶嚶飛逃。服務業就是這麼辛酸。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIca8KFpPbL
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZx1xKNmSf
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqYQG0chlb
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONqpW4QzPq
兩人有點傻，怎麼這個GM這麼玻璃心？嚇一下就跑了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXucJIZiQp8
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXXuNpRoaQ
沒辦法，他們只好再招來另一個GM。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSK6XHH6QO
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqnAQgk9Uk
這一回，瑞樹認真而誠懇地問：「有沒有辦法解除父子關係？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJ14Nf6uzF
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGe219EjLyn
GM818似乎是個戲精。他掐指一算，閉目冥思道：「有，有這麼一個特殊任務，不過一旦解除親子關係，可能會引發一些後果，嚴重影響兩位的遊戲體驗，請三思。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIFGmeZB1J
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZdRU1uK8l
葉雨燕囧了，「什麼任務這麼嚴重？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZdlLH3m7v
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiUkDa21iw
「唉！」GM818戲很多地摀住胸口，哀淒蹙眉，「《恩、斷、義、絕》。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnKCONPqQd
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWQVNLhhzW
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUnjBaZocx
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2f7JAmmbT
這名字聽起來不太妙。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ATC16qjFa
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bniS7Djg4
「兩位的關係也將會降為《老死不相往來》，還請玩家慎重考慮。」GM818抽出手帕擦拭並不存在的淚，語重心長地哽咽說完，便兩手一揮嚶嚶嚶飄走，非常地敬業。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOunoeXKjV
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg9Xeic2Wo
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp017uZmrZq
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLWbmLh7IF
恩斷義絕、老死不相往來，以奧普斯的尿性，肯定又會觸發什麼奇葩的情侶關係與任務，比如：相愛相殺或殉情來世再見什麼的，簡直是不雷死玩家不罷休。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57ETMsEez3
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2OYAzvMDi
「怎麼辦？」瑞樹苦笑道。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuUemijVL7
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3LsoGYhfL
葉雨燕正懊惱自己當初沒事愛亂皮，以致於沒立即回話。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZsDZZysxD
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Sigbnm4to
瑞樹望著眼前的人形馬賽克，雖然啥也看不到，卻仍能腦補出對方此刻的模樣，應當是正氣呼呼地抿著嘴，微微鼓起一邊臉頰，邊皺著漂亮的眉毛，卻又忍不住頹著肩膀，像極一隻處於炸毛狀態又沮喪的貓。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxvgCIxCmv
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM2H0xHhVb
他想著想著，便忍不住伸出手，往可能是臉頰部位的模糊方塊輕輕戳了下。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy5dZqdkDg
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwasOsp5Gk7
結果就被咬了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUexkCM3VI
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ397kRpSJR
葉雨燕握住那根突然戳進嘴巴裡的長條狀模糊方塊，咬了咬，確定只是一根手指，便納悶地問：「你幹嘛？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVgpLfCDpG
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kInIX3qTj
「沒什麼。」瑞樹感覺有點囧，居然猜錯了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIaywsf6EF
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdVCij5Oz5
這時，一道奶聲奶氣的稚嫩嗓音響起。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfawyDa0Id
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNuUgVjArW
「媽媽，他們在幹嘛？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUFOaBWchd
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW9dWmQSJg
路過的兔耳小男孩睜著圓圓大眼看向他們，身旁的女祭司立刻摀住他的眼，邊投來意味深長的腐笑，溫柔回答：「他們應該是在PVP，你現在還不可以學喔。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGd1isTQsMg
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xyLtIMj2R
還含著長條狀模糊方塊的葉雨燕：「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXdrUTzgl8
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3yNNnXPql
還沒收回長條狀模糊方塊的瑞樹：「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1GvAlrdXj
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9fJ1qDnCR
雖然外人看他們是正常的外貌，但對眼裡有一大團馬賽克的兩人來說，這個畫面好像有點不太對，便果斷地選擇下線，先來一個抱緊處理，撫慰他們受傷的眼睛。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDIYesigBE
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVevg2F5yG5
「真的非做那個什麼特殊任務不可了嗎？」一想到他們每次做情侶任務都會遇到各種奇葩的要求，葉雨燕就覺得心累。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB15JA0b67
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVhaNKlSOv
瑞樹抱著筆記型電腦翻查遊戲論壇，神情也十分無奈，「我查過了，據說以前有對兄弟也觸發了禁忌之戀任務，結果要通過一百個連環關卡，打敗一百種菁英怪，並收集一百種材料，每個材料各一百份，製造《永世姻緣線》，才能解除馬賽克。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7y7UYIZah
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszqTDbFqp9
葉雨燕一聽，整張臉都黑了，「那《恩斷義絕》呢？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak1DlFLvNk
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANhwVcCOVb
打怪不難，連環關卡也很具挑戰性，但一百種材料各一百份，真的會生無可戀啊！1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZKccxuRqS
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd09wjN8V0
「《恩斷義絕》也有查到。」瑞樹點開一個帖子，「看，這網友說，她跟她男友因為彼此的身世任務有血海深仇的劇情，不小心觸發了《恩斷義絕》的任務，但有向GM確認過，《恩斷義絕》後仍有機會觸發《破鏡重圓》的任務，就約好為了獎勵暫時配合，誰知，才一個月無法一起遊戲，男友就跟別人跑了，她的任務也因此卡住無法完成。」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzF6X6CVTj
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyBRyuQ2xV
「哇，這遊戲還可以測渣男呢。」葉雨燕忍不住吐槽道。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PzbP0pACf
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJobnDveZle
瑞樹失笑地搓了搓他柔軟的頭髮，「還是要做禁忌之戀？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnTKwHKijs
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ9cHEovTU
葉雨燕沒好氣地撇了下嘴，「可是光我們現在手上要收的材料就已經夠撐了，算了，馬賽克就馬賽克吧，大不了避開小孩，再也不去朦霧島！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtwDIbn77i
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLefRuGvS9
然而，這麼想的他們，實在是太拿衣服（註）了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡof1FHxSjLy
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaYpoOsBkT
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2B5y9AF9Ha
*1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl4POas7sc
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMfXDGxLUK
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiji5N3CWx
這一日，他們來到海之村，租了一條快艇，打算出海玩玩，順便看有沒有機會找到尚未被開發的新島嶼。據傳，某個大神隊發現珊瑚礁島後，就觸發了影響整個伺服的主線劇情，還展開全服陣營戰，非常的刺激，就可惜他們太晚加入遊戲，錯過了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO0hKUgotW
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemZq6Ov9Qs
葉雨燕興致勃勃地研究地圖，當起指揮長，瑞樹則勤奮耐勞地聽令掌舵。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jAyaLMA4T
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuHCSbPqfy
涼爽的海風拂過身側，吹走積聚一天的疲倦，天海相連的藍十分乾淨，是現代少有的純淨，雖然只是透過腦波感受到的虛擬影像，卻也足以洗淨現實世界的庸庸碌碌。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwk404g2xM
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNDRRSCbB3
身為刑警與檢察官的他們，平日就要面對各種複雜的大小案件，兇殺搶竊嫖淫，殘忍陰狠的犯案動機背後，總有許多數不清的故事，令人鼻酸的，也有令人憤慨的，即便他們身為執法者必須保持中立客觀的態度，心裡也難免會受到些許影響。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNZ0gP0Gx3
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd2tVErNK7
所以，能有這麼段時光，跟心愛的人一起跳脫現實，遠離塵囂，來到這充滿驚喜的奇幻世界裡，不亦乎是一種省時省力又更有效率的浪漫度假。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQjuD4C2ce
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYH2bfiUHq
葉雨燕愜意地吸著果汁，邊一指滑著地圖，就忽然眼睛一亮，看向瑞樹說：「我發現這裡……咦，怎麼馬賽克了？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuj8MXDPz0
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOhHn80Y6K
瑞樹轉過頭來，發現對方也是一團模糊方塊，就納悶地左張右望，「附近有小孩？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WWfnRXgtJ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpuh82PAUr
說時遲，那時快，一陣船鳴聲驟響，兩人循聲望去，就見一艘朦霧島幼兒園專用的大船正破浪急馳而來，上面不用說，必然是載著滿滿的萌物小蘿莉小正太。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gpje1wxiJ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbskoeHW5j
「這也太湊巧了吧？」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I9VynNBB2
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2awFsovUaC
眼見兩船快要相撞，兩人趕緊手忙腳亂地調整方向，以最快的速度離開大船的航線。好不容易等馬賽克消失，危機解除了，他們才總算喘了口氣，卻不想前方的海水忽然漲起，一條大鯨魚「嘩啦」一聲露出海面。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nsYw697Ma
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3VmYTgsu9
「糟！」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpBed3pJ0n
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRBEZe4jsp
兩人簡直要哭了，雖知大海變化莫測，但這也變太快！1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbUUBYdvJd
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAtDQWZqQU
瑞樹急急地要將快艇轉向，然而，這條鯨魚估計是神經比較纖細，一看到快艇，竟嚇得噴出一大條水柱，把他們淋成了落湯雞不說，還驚羞地屁股一扭轉過身，巨大的尾巴就這麼不偏不倚地甩過來，將他們連人帶快艇狠狠地甩出大老遠。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUD0IEDzBC
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgnGY13IVv
「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATy1dkTM1Q
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNzOeq8VSH
此時的兩人已經不想說話了，只能眼神死地開盾喝藥水，並連忙吞下能在水中呼吸的藥丸，因為根據《奧普斯》的尿性，接下來，他們肯定會被捲入暗流，然後就被傳送進什麼奇怪的海底副本裡，觸發什麼暗無天日的獵奇支線任務。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqiZUealAH
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGWVVJkP1Z
不過，《奧普斯》是這麼一個「清純」、「健康」、「正經」的遊戲，怎麼會這麼容易就被他們猜到接下來的發展呢？當然不！1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78HItIKwTM
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC1yuIXAGn
於是，又一艘大船莫名其妙地忽然出現在海面上，還剛剛好就在他們的拋擲線途中，整條快艇就這麼霸氣萬千地撞了上去，發出一聲轟然巨響，徹底瓦解了。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVXYgu3H83
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搶在撞上前一秒跳海的兩人：「……」1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiXUp3fg4r
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乾，這下不知道要賠多少錢給NPC，可不可以宰了那隻鯨魚做生魚片當補償？1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoY1ieU4LwP
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKixfUxZnuu
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQa8w2FuAR
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
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後記：
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9AbhXjqjl
※註：拿衣服，naive天真，跟圖樣圖森破too young too simple同一個典故。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2W5sIHPgZ
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfalu4TIti
感謝西啡給我這個機會寫樹葉組的冒險小故事～>艸<1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw4jeZpUSS
自從SC結束後，就很久沒寫別人家的孩子了，寫的時候就一直很擔心會OOC，希望沒有太偏離兩孩子的真實性格WWWW1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAIN8UXvYo
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GEs8Gk3ta
《奧普斯》就是《爆炸頭不要來》裡的網遊XDDD1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYRNVrauQI
歡迎還沒看過的快去看，看過的也去重溫（＃1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjeg0IxipE
才不說有偷偷把泰貝等人在遊戲裡發生的事埋進這部文裡～AwA1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3o3qbe9sk
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【下篇預告】《粗長的》： 字數約五千多字，每週三發。1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnD6mbghcY
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRU8Vi6Era
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★【奧普斯第一部】1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqpN0mc5dp
【凌家III】爆炸頭不要來 1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflXRl0lNq4
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6raFt3Nmfz
★【西啡家的樹葉＆穗楓組】 1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIeDk3LUWq
【樹葉】許你三生之戀 1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLtaUyMgNf
【穗楓】秋穗紅楓 1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4EWJkBcJc
1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTthcLejGiB
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歡迎追蹤>////<1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfusIkj67W
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微博：http://weibo.com/meowbark471336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB7T5Q1GSz
噗浪：http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunzTvj2fxf
FB：https://www.facebook.com/miaobell1336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMuvZVFy7Z
推特：https://twitter.com/meowbarksky
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by 喵芭渴死姬 / 10.10.2018
