I've realized, sadly, that Christmas becomes less and less every year. The magic of running down the hall and looking at the presents while waiting for your parents to wake up, slowly dissipates. It's as if, like a shadow exposed to light, it vanishes to somewhere else. Presents become more reasonable, less magical, and the family you spend it with changes. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. I find myself looking forward to the break, as if it's the only thing worth looking forward to.
What is Christmas anymore, anyway? A new pair of shoes? Maybe clothes? I remember I used to have a Christmas list that was a mile long... now it's only two things, and their things I don't really want. I'm asking for money, knowing I need to save it, but you can't ask for that because your grandparents want you to unwrap something, after all.
Perhaps that's more personal than relatable, but my point is... Christmas just seems to lose it's magic more and more each year.
Is it just me?
When I was younger, I would practically force my parents and older brother to help me build our lego-train set around the tree, and then once it was finished, I'd turn it on and watch it for hours. Then when we would decorate the tree, I would make sure I had all of my home-made silly-looking ornaments right up front for everyone to see. I would eagerly annoy my brother with daydreams and fantasies about my wishes and hopes for Christmas day.
But one day, I noticed Christmas was beginning to become less and less to him.
And before I knew it, it was becoming less and less to me.
"Make a wish." That was my first thought when any star would cross my eyes in a burning blaze across a speckled atmosphere, because then my wishes were attainable, reachable, possible.
Lesser and lesser.
Maybe Christmas becomes less, because it's possibilities become limited. The sky folds above, the ground caves, and here I am trying to find the magic that was once there before but is only received through memories. Memories of wishing.
Family is good too, that's what Christmas should be about anyway, but they grow up. Grandparents get older, parents get older, cousins, friends, siblings, they all get older. And just like me, they experience lesser... and lesser...
Maybe one day that'll change. They'll become a part of a new family, they'll be brought back into a youthful Christmas season with kids of their own, and then when that passes, they'll be brought into it again when they're grandparents.
Maybe that'll happen to me.
"Make a wish."
For what? For time to go backwards, or for time to go forwards? Right now, I guess I'm just somewhere in between. I'm in an awkward phase of change in the holidays, like a teenager who hits a sudden growth spurt and keeps running into things. It's just clumsy, I guess.
I'm okay with that.
For now.
Heyyyy, that was a bit depressing.
Um... Happy Holidays?
I saw the picture, and it looked more like a memory than a present moment, all of the post cards seem like a suspended and abstract scene, so I decided to do this: A reflection.
Haha, I promise I'm looking forward to Christmas-- this is just something I realized. Anyway, Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful season!
-LovelySheree
P.S. This exceeds the word limit... sorry... I tried to slim it down. Meh, oh well!980Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxudfsodoYV
