1411Please respect copyright.PENANA2zfkYENOdJ
信義以前曾經說過,如果不是認識我夠久,才不會相信世界上有那麼笨的人,完全不像生活在人世的人,1411Please respect copyright.PENANA2s75Ho85Ul
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1411Please respect copyright.PENANAFYFpaywASh
他很擔心我將來出到社會工作後,早晚會被人騙得破產。1411Please respect copyright.PENANASMjxfbZPq8
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAGHvi5zcF8g
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAvUBb0SMhf8
「而且你最笨的是不明白女仔的心思,不知要說什麼,要什麼時候上。」他說。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA9uN9XI7IP7
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA1IcdY7xKON
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAXvdhUifU24
我很同意他這一番說話,對於男女結構大不同,包括思考方式的不一,我是不明白。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAcf1G04hBJv
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAeJ9zmTiZGD
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA2eu05pMPF6
「其實不關事,你是鈍。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAD4Frm5pBbz
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAfrqYz0wTBh
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAwbGJ4dDVqH
大一那年,系會狂歡完後,我負責送一個女生回家。那時,我跟那女生在班上算是蠻好聊的,當她回到她家的門口時,她轉身問我:「你……要進來喝些什麼嗎?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAhxM8sO3xsN
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAJA6MUtK63o
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAu68QpolIMf
「有什麼選擇?」我問。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAkVW01m7Zpa
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAJzhlGKQLlG
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAaCAYQb9keA
「吓……?」她愣住了,似乎沒有意料我會這樣回答,呆一會後才說:「呃……咖啡⋯⋯?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAk4tUm4z4ax
1411Please respect copyright.PENANANxJeStdBYa
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAo9YE6HSpe5
「不了,我不喜歡喝咖啡的,而且這麼晚喝咖啡會睡不著覺。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANA6zDbxReE41
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA7GutKj9MSR
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA3AAZ3YzAP3
接著是「呯!」的一聲關門。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAc4QWb4TSkN
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAooIo3D1Udp
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAXOUlHjXopR
呃……1411Please respect copyright.PENANAbbFcVaEDzN
1411Please respect copyright.PENANABDFBlml4X3
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你或許會在質疑,有沒有搞錯,飲咖啡的含意你都不懂。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAIw3FgS78kn
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAtd9Zx0SDG2
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAowOOL7gaqC
我的回答是人情世故我懂的不多。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAjycD9Omf4S
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA3dTdj1uDfg
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAHaFLIe9z5N
同類型的事情還有很多,多到我可以在廟街擺檔說三天三夜。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAOVuD4sntdR
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAigXveesBDC
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除了不懂女人心外,我的記憶力還很差。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAuZHuXgB9lt
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAmY7RS1Y9Zq
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAyGGz9trSXE
小學時,我可以把家中的電話跟樓下的外賣電話混淆,讓老師打電話到茶餐廳找我家人時,被人誤會玩電話,然後一大堆的粗口伺候。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA7oZOSZ62at
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記憶力差得很的我,在中學的選修居然是歷史,甚至大學也是歷史系。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAlCRCDMKZ61
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAUy3l4ezwpY
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是由於我中學歷史老師的一句話:「歷史,背是沒有意義的。會背哪個年份,發生了什麼事,不會改變什麼。重要的是,你從前人的事當中,能發掘什麼出來,掘了,那東西就是永遠屬於你的。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAXar9hPtJoB
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAFPVeHFOCXF
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不過那時我是完全不懂這話是什麼意思,可是我相信他,歷史是不用背的,所以就選了。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAzPOubkSl3Q
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然後公開試也炒了。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAMQuiHzlFpi
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAz0TLX0kOk1
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAJBIwYs53kc
「老師,你不是說不用背的嗎?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAKYp7OjUuIz
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA33k1ZYvb04
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA4lVy1EPsd0
「我是說背是無意義,但在這個考試制度下,就是要你背。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANA0nHWAWCcpP
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAjkjA7lCJxs
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我一直都很笨。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA3aHfbX2hMP
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所以當身邊的人有人相伴時,我還是只能單身一個。(當然有人會認為是你樣子的問題。)1411Please respect copyright.PENANAAlyBfIc1Wu
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAqSAfg1gEWB
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAqSMDG4sdmh
我正愁慮我會不會一世都孤身一人,用不用儲錢買孤佬屋時,接下來的事,卻讓我的單身生活起了變化。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAPhWxti8jUo
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA7VqRzo6AcP
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這事之前,首先要介紹兩個人,那都是我最好的朋友。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAi4TjF12PJ9
1411Please respect copyright.PENANABrx5vOSQsa
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAgapNURHKdL
一個叫信義。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAYzvtbjZZKg
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他不喜歡我們叫他中文名字,因為他覺得這很土,他喜歡別人叫他……1411Please respect copyright.PENANAlMjLjs2rhh
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAYhABBNm8Ff
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「叫我阿JOY。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANA8Wu2tWFio4
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無問題的,信義。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAZZrrnSbbt6
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信義的名字聞說是因為父母希望他做人,明白人生最要緊是秉行公義,以義為先,能捨身取義。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA0F5sh0QtI4
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAZdaQJQyo9G
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事後證明,他沒有令他的父母失望。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAanniS6dYcM
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另一個叫小寶。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAFIdJiwNDYc
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小寶這個名字跟她的外型很符合,小寶是童顏型的可愛女生,樣貌看起來比她的實際年齡小,這一類卻吸引到許多追求者。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA7W2rtIrH4C
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然後關他們什麼事呢?1411Please respect copyright.PENANAIKLg0a7b6V
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1411Please respect copyright.PENANAeLPy2TCLLC
事關他們擅自幫我開了Instagram。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAa5HC8iZCyM
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事先聲明,我從未打算用Instagram,1411Please respect copyright.PENANAbXBigHwask
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原因是我本來對拍照沒什麼大興趣,1411Please respect copyright.PENANAFVP4Pb6gIp
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其次是也沒有人會對我的生活有興趣。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAfolfohUez0
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1411Please respect copyright.PENANAwdWlmsWmiv
「現在哪有人不用Instagram的?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAdpl1XVExRz
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAMytryIUG3e
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAnsronvrzQh
「就是,用又不一定要POST相,直接follow女生看照片嘛。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANADwPZTNGluS
1411Please respect copyright.PENANACk9dsGDgR7
1411Please respect copyright.PENANALIinYiskU4
信義遞了電話給我看,裡面是一個五官標誌,看起來有點像樂瞳的女生,1411Please respect copyright.PENANAKk9fvvTvxx
1411Please respect copyright.PENANALrq45yIyyP
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAF872SNHw3G
我隨意瀏覽一下,她的照片基本上大部份都是自拍,有時則在拍小狗、拍食物,還有不少……1411Please respect copyright.PENANAKADo8A14E9
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA92RYZ76O84
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「為什麼只拍自己的腿這麼奇怪?」我問。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAnk209gxYxA
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAtCFrZYOiNB
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「咦,她是不知道自己走光了?」我又問。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAWIujKmUeKB
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAubwizCozXN
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「為什麼心口要key隻公仔,不直接轉第二張相?」我再問。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAUAB7lxqWQK
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAuvzTEGJYYH
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「唉,你去死啦。」信義說。1411Please respect copyright.PENANANlPLMxxHow
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAbvSnpkEpOf
1411Please respect copyright.PENANASphBAHRpNR
接下多的十多分鐘,他們一直跟我論述用Instagram的好處,1411Please respect copyright.PENANAIb5gFYhfdG
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAK3MGNPWhkx
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA3KBnCyhdnS
叭啦叭啦的說過不停。我極度懷疑他們的兼職根本就是推銷員。1411Please respect copyright.PENANACrLPRrdqih
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAhudcNvHkhy
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吹得天花龍鳳,差在沒有說用了可保一世平安,出街有神仙保佑,生仔不怕痛。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAWP20ieLJGw
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好了,我得出結論。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAPkIVs3TOU0
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「不開。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANArx8M70iuhH
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「頂你咩。」信義破口大罵。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAH32Coltz71
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「好啦,等我幫你。」小寶把我的手機搶去。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA5bOtUBRvKP
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAHamVu9jss9
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA9dN7bhlSS0
……1411Please respect copyright.PENANAMcKAZ5fFXe
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證明對話是不存在任何意義。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAPxOGpowHuj
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「你Facebook是什麼?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAhRzk2caMTp
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「不要用Facebook啦。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANATMZYHiyJyu
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAGNgoLg8viI
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「下?為什麼?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAabW1BYAGTj
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笑我太小心也好,可是我從不習慣用Facebook開通其他帳號,覺得這樣不安全。1411Please respect copyright.PENANACYjC8OpBsl
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAqIZ2CbENXo
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「如果不用Facebook,哪來朋友?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAuMHfW8cRFt
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAm8ihrTaL8Q
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「我根本不用。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAdLZVWyZZhf
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「妳懂什麼啊,阿仁明顯不想見到妳啦,他就懂得選,專開來看美女。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAXP9b9UGO3B
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAJT3SLoJIcz
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「下,我不理,反正我知你的帳號,Follow定我先,順手讚好我的POST,哈哈哈。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAHXVQzPa464
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呃……還說不著緊,我猜想這才是她的原意嘛。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAQyVwW0A0eF
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小寶認真的對著我手機左按右按,問了我的電郵後,又問:「那你要什麼名字?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAUsLurY4brS
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呃……我認真的思考一會,我說了一個我喜歡的作家名字。1411Please respect copyright.PENANANvX9N1cMGD
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「密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAhXLqk0oyuE
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAk332nSWTDK
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「嗯?」對不起,我在想今天的晚餐吃什麼。1411Please respect copyright.PENANA0hA8GOvsHz
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAIrZ7PZj1Jp
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「我說!密碼和帳號一樣好不?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAVgbIiCnMvG
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「好啊。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANA77RsKIdpdw
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「啊,你的名字有人在用,加個1字在後面啊記得。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAsOu6TpbzER
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「好啊。」還是吃龍蝦好了。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAmJdgRcdLg1
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「你有在聽嗎。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAWghby9g4aq
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「嗯?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAPeSmaUIwuy
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「你去死啦。」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAB6Gf3lgfFJ
1411Please respect copyright.PENANAWUhGPendEe
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小寶就是那種,嘴巴說話不饒人,心裡卻很善良的人。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAb8Rx7ZGwx8
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就這樣,我開了自己的Instagram,不過也如前面所說,我根本用不著,就這樣有一段時間放著不用。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAS3Oad89KRp
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甚至我換了新手機後仍是這樣。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAAZqXW9yGhv
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一直到……近陣子。1411Please respect copyright.PENANAdlHCW8eiCy
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**「為什麼會這麼多人follow一個不認識的女孩子?」1411Please respect copyright.PENANAjfTv2F26E6
1411Please respect copyright.PENANA6uGQAIZmbe
「用來解決生理需要。」