視角【男主】#小段子243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7R8v6mOJG2
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最近那些人看我的眼神不太一樣，是一種怪罪的眼神，我不知道是他們變了，還是我變了。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmT22ZnP9K
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一開始看淡，最後的重視已經無法挽救一切。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9VfT9ACJU
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最近諸事不順，還以為水逆了呢，直到現在我遇見了眼前身穿白袍，扎著長馬尾的錢斯彤，她是我的國小同學、青梅竹馬跟摯友，不過對我來說現在她是一名心理醫師。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEkH6jICNg
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錢斯彤放下筆，直勾勾的盯著我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXMrOJUwBd
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「最近有什麼事嗎？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEemgOu3baF
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「呃…沒有…應該沒有。」正在發呆的我錯愕得回覆了這個問題。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtvJ3MmsKQ
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「你為什麼來做心理諮商呢？」錢斯彤再次拿起筆，不過她沒有寫字，而是用筆頭輕敲桌面。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7cBfLyl0c
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「被逼的。」我從來都不會把實情說出口。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYCFNF25Ye
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「那你有沒有不舒服或者想跟我聊點什麼？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fwNdWSRq1
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「………」我沒有回答，卻看見錢斯彤左手拿著一本像是課本的東西。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJN65gsG0f
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「你還記得嗎…這個。」錢斯彤放下筆，把國小畢業紀念冊翻到我們班一起合照的那頁。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlM3X0l9X8X
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「我記得啊，國小畢業的時候。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp09uGU1VEW
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「那你記得這個嗎？」錢斯彤把一兩疊報紙全攤在桌上，斗大的新聞標題寫著《驚傳維冠金龍大樓倒塌事件死亡人數持續攀升》243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgooMYJyESE
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「記得啊，我姐死在裡面。」我的口氣很平穩，似乎對於這幾年前的事已經釋懷。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamHe6LEBIu
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「這個呢？」錢斯彤掏出一個皮夾遞到我面前。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfSH456lkX
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「好像在哪裡看過…」我翻着錢包，因為老舊，外面的皮革層層剝落，在翻的同時也掉出一些碎屑。錢包裡已經沒有錢，可是還有一些發票、折價卷、一堆各式各樣的會員卡、一張身份證。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQC9Y9Ceqnz
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民國43年6月14日。那是我爸的生日，那是我爸的身份證，那個就是我爸的錢包。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwXbrPISpB
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「回想起來還是有點自責呢，明明是長子，卻無法從盜匪手中把自己的老爸救出來，讓他就這樣被砍死。」我突然的一段話讓錢斯彤有點錯愕。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h9TJ1FobZ
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「我以為你爸爸…」她驚訝的摀嘴，隨後低頭道歉。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjeW2B7QEz
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「死了就死了，不用道歉。」其實是我經不起道歉，我早已習慣把道歉這種負面動詞的主詞通通改成我自己。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorBvlWJivr
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「我記得你以前都是班上的第一名，成績很好，尤其是數學。」錢斯彤對著我微笑。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNcanYZo67
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「那個能有什麼用，我身邊可以走的都走了。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0vc79TxlL
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「你有什麼興趣嗎？或讓自己開心的東西？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV31pICqMCt
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「我沒對任何事物提起勁過。」我苦澀得對著錢斯彤笑了笑。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPWz9AnsUL
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「為什麼不嘗試看看呢？這麼沒動力呀？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqWkl76oEQ
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「我不想，以前想的時候通通被拒絕了。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP00ytyMSxF
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「誰拒絕你？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0G9FIb9zo
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「我媽跟我爸，照理來說我應該要不爽的，可是我沒有，反正他們也死了。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4d5mvGEqjF
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「冒昧問一下，你還有家人嗎？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiVupZYdVZ
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「沒有。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOTNbPkWbl
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一陣沉默，詭異的靜。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcvcgIypA9
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「那…我可以當你的朋友嗎？我想多陪陪你。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QbGYU6EA6
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「妳不會不方便嗎？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUVy4qIXGQ
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「不會，只要能夠幫你。」錢斯彤投射一道期待的眼神到我臉上。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8ZT2qpvHd
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「好吧…你要來我家？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9saloDvaE
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_____________________________________243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dDq1NNK91
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今年是第二年，錢斯彤跟我同居順便拯救我的第二年。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBxwuLQh77
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「你的病情好轉很多了！」錢斯彤開心的看著我自己親手做的木椅。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6xiRjcXDL
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我培養了幾個興趣。能夠幫我分散注意力的興趣。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3oHkKzkxn
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「開心嗎？那個送你，我現在有新作品了。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHmwp80yJ5
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「你真的進步很多。」錢斯彤眼眶泛紅，溼潤的瞳孔在鎂光燈照射下閃爍。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWVSvyRIeX
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「我也很謝謝你。是你拉我一把的。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmKJq7huzV
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我也哭了，想到這幾年來錢斯彤把我當作小孩照顧，絲毫不見一點煩躁的神情，才能造就出這樣的我-有興趣的我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAwKg2nVLa
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「雖然很不捨，可是我還是得恢復我的崗位。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdkU3eT4w5
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錢斯彤兩年前向上司提出我的病例報告，才得以有兩年的時間慢慢陪我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02GbnKBmnB
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「好，你回去吧，多多保重，也要和我保持聯絡。」
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「謝謝你，其實蠻有成就感的。」錢斯彤笑了笑，走到鞋櫃前挑選自己的短靴。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw5uKpI28i
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「我送你去吧。」我也拿了一雙鞋。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1dSLiUK41
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「謝謝。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaowagIcDT
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我們走下樓，我的車停的位子離公寓有一段距離，需要小走一下。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM6QItnpBO
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又是紅燈。小紅人樹立在LED裡，示意我們不要走過去。當我內心又想抱怨時，想起錢斯彤跟我說過「你可以拿抱怨或生氣的時間，多多想你喜歡的東西，不然可就浪費了。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4PrmNFno9
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突然一輛計程車從對向車道直衝而來，眼看就要撞上錢斯彤，我一把推開她。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZGQUvDWZ5
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須臾之間，我看見她的表情。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHncw0JSywV
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(那是什麼？)我做了一個掛號在內心問自己。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNWSEY5PHR
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之後我就睡著了，什麼都不記得。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYjmZJTOdP
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一群人在滿是鮮花中間放著一張男子照片的地方，有的泣不成聲，有的雖然沒有哭，仍漏出悲傷的神情，錢斯彤也在。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4cjhqdPC3
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「為什麼要救我……」錢斯彤努力拭著一連串下來的淚。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84mN5MUlvM
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啊，原來那是我的喪禮。原來我死了。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDOEPyWtuQ
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看著錢斯彤，有些欣慰，幸好自己擋下來了，幸好死的人是我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAwgGpoIa0
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雖然知道妳聽不見。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtkKBs4oEf
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「謝謝妳！我終於報答妳了！」我大喊著，沒有一個人理我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNDwc02yqv
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我覺得全身輕快舒爽。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OEgxfwafS
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至少我不像那些「家人」，我死時沒有虧欠誰。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbX0OH2she
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很圓滿，很不錯。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsJl1ZM6TC
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我躺到裡面，又睡著了。
