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The house was deathly still as I made my way downstairs, and I thanked my lucky stars as I stepped out into the courtyard. James was a heavy sleeper, and he'd told me earlier that he had no interest in maintaining our link whilst we slept. He said he didn't want to see my dreams, and assured me that I didn't want to see his, which I agreed with wholeheartedly.
The pool lay still and black, moonlight rippling across its surface. It was a very warm night, and I needed no further invitation. Of course, I couldn't dive in this time without waking half the house, so instead, I lowered myself into the water, shivering as it raised goosebumps across my skin. But I soon adjusted, and once I felt comfortable, I took a deep breath and submerged myself. I let some air out, letting myself sink to the bottom of the pool, enjoying the slight burn as I emptied my lungs enough to let myself sink all the way under.
When my feet hit the tiles, I opened my eyes, amazed at how dark it was. But there was an ethereal beauty to the way the moonlight made patterns across the tiles, somehow managing to be even more beautiful than in the sunlight, and I had to smile to myself. There was always beauty in everything, and I took comfort in the fact that I could still enjoy beauty like this.
As I swam along the bottom, kicking steadily with my legs, propelling myself forward with my arms, I took in the other sensations as well; the way the water glided over my body and through my hair, the way my arms pushed me through the water, and, when I closed my eyes for a moment, the weightlessness. Down here I was free, and all my cares and worries faded away once more, replaced by the water, and me. That was all there was. The water flowed over me like a caress, soothing the pain of the day's events, and I could feel my cares washing away.
I eventually reached the other side, but even though my lungs now burned for lack of air, I stayed under for a bit longer, enjoying the thrill of knowing how little air I had left, and just how deep underwater I was. I wasn't stupid, though. Even so, I felt a wicked sense of skirting the danger's edge as I kicked my way slowly to the surface, my diaphragm spasming as my body tried to breathe. Every spasm sent a sharp thrill of mingled delight and danger through me, growing stronger as the spasms did, the occasional burst of bubbles escaping my tightly pressed lips with each contraction. Still, it was a blessed relief to break the surface and take in some much needed air, though I did keep my gasps to a minium. I still had a sleeping house to be careful of.
I rolled over to float on my back, looking up at the sky as the water lapped gently at my ears, half muffling the sound of the cicadas. Overhead, the moon shone brightly, and I felt the tears prick my eyes, blurring my vision. Dad and I - and later Dorothy and Doreah - had often gone stargazing, and we tracked the moon through all its different phases. Humans didn't pay too much attention to the phases and the significance they had, but us wolves did. The moon was in our very blood, and I had to blink away new tears as I remembered all the old stories Dad used to tell us. I wondered if Doreah was also watching the moon tonight and remembering the old stories. I certainly hoped she was.
The pain came back in waves, and I took a deep breath, before flipping backwards and diving under once more, kicking strongly as I swam back down to the bottom. I then set out for another slow swim, pacing myself as I made my way back to the other side. I'd never taken much stock in swimming before - even though I was actually quite a good swimmer - but now, after having discovered the utter joy of it earlier today, I couldn't get enough. There was something intoxicating about being underwater, and I revelled in the new sensations, enjoying how free I was.
I reached the other side, touched the wall, before pushing off with my feet and setting off for another lap. A slow burn in my lungs told me I didn't have much air left, but I pushed that feeling down, determined to make a second lap. To be sure, as I reached the halfway mark, I felt that burn grow stronger, but I held it off, even as the first contractions started again. Once more, I felt like I was skirting the edge of sheer peril, and when I reached the far wall once more, I knew I had very little time to make it to the surface. I held down the nerves, my diaphragm spasming more strongly than before, my lungs burning like fire. Bubbles leaked out despite my best efforts to hold them back, but I perservered, and was rewarded when my head broke the surface again. I immediately pulled myself out, flopping over onto my back as I recovered, shaking like a leaf. That was way too close for comfort, I thought.
But damn, it had felt good. Why I had no idea. But somehow, it reminded me that I was still alive. Coming so close to running out of air as I had whilst still underwater, it was a surprise that I should feel that good, that it should make me feel so alive as it had. I let my mind wander back to those last few moments; the way my diaphragm had spasmed so strongly, trying to force me to breathe, bubbles leaking from my mouth and nose with every contraction, my lungs burning, everything riding on my ability to reach the surface before I ran out of air.
I shivered as I stood up, my legs still shaky. Of course, I'd never want to drown myself, but damn, it had felt amazing, to be standing on the precipice, as it were, to know that I had such little time left before my daring turned deadly. To be so close to the surface as the last of the air slowly leaked from my lungs, inches away from getting a breath before I ran out entirely - it was a thrilling sensation, and one I'd never experienced before. And it left me appreciating life even more.
It was definitely something else, I thought, as I walked over to the banana lounge to gather my nerves together, and my gaze wandered over to the shallow end. I soon pulled my thoughts away from any more daredevil stunts, though. It was getting late, and I really needed sleep.
But as I stood, I froze. Suddenly, I knew I wasn't alone, and I turned to see James standing there, arms folded, eyes glittering golden in the dimness of the trees. And my heart sank like a stone.
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