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ミクさん | 笹ノ葉
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EP 15 昏睡的頑念成詛咒227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLljiKAyUii
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「我的初衷就是感性啊！」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI2oDtBnc6
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忽然，一道強烈的綠光從窗外照進這幽暗的房間，照在你的身上
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這綠色是和你那對眼睛同一顏色的
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「生命力」，有些人會這樣說
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爱麗絲的綠瞳是充滿生氣的，是大自然的綠，是自然母親的淚珠，裏頭足以蘊藏一個世界，那對眼是生命的象徵
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但其實，所謂的「生命力」究竟是什麼？
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只是恐懼的倒影、害怕的表現227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVlboTq8aF
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生命很矛盾，因為生命本身就很脆弱，面對更強大的生命，弱小的生命會被奪去
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的確，是自然的綠，但大地母親對待生命，一點也不溫柔
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這裏有著弱肉強食、適者生存的規條，有物競天擇這般的運作模式
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所謂的生命力，只是反映他人心中的不安
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因為自然母親從不溫柔227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6e5QnlY3B
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因為面對生命以上的精神時，生命是一個下等的存在227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nYqA64F5a
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面對頑念的你，根本毫無還手之力
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縱使你能夠令這個世界決裂
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那怕爱麗絲的你多麼反抗這一切也好
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這也是你信奉的所有
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若然如此，你可以殺死自己嗎？
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你可以殺死你的堅持嗎？
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看呀，你根本不能
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你不會改變
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所以
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你才無法擺脫這個世界啊
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人偶的你，又一次展開了千遍一律收場的鬧劇
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你不能叫醒裝睡的人227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerBok4NG6f
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人偶的你以鞋跟狠踏房間的木地板，一道純白色的裂痕在夢境中崩決，將兩者從記憶的碎片分離
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與你，一起回到「仙境」
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純白的空間是代表仙境未至，但當到達仙境之時，這場玩笑終將完結
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經歷過這麼多次的你，理所當然也知道這道理
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所以你把握時間，勢要做出改變
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不可能的轉變
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房間的碎片四散，你站在漸漸飄在上方的碎塊，猛然一躍
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綠色的光彩，似乎稍微褪色了，畢竟棕黑的熱力，在你的心中佔著優勢
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你大腦中，荷爾蒙和腎上腺數的濃度很高，腦電波的波幅很大，血清素的分泌被壓抑了，腦汁中有兒茶酚胺的味道
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那一點也不甜，以親嚐而言，是苦的
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為什麼，總不可以一切甜甜蜜蜜
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你的意志，使你的身體和這個世界分開了少許，因為你否定自己爱麗絲的身份，你的力量弱了
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很多
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你分不清你要攻擊的對象在那
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在夢境這種跨維度世界中，若然你不是當中的住人，你移動也成困難
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這空間尤如太空，無重力、實察質量、絕對次元
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你迷失了
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你忘記了為什麼要選擇甜味
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苦才不是甘甜
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只是辛苦的苦
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人偶的你著落在校園的天台上，和你相視直望，你想也沒想地跑過來，尖鋭的凶剎不該是人偶口腔內應有的存在
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所以你撞了在光板圍欄上，恨不得趁會死亡的衝擊力足以在額骨上留下一道裂痕，以及讓你上門牙兩顆移位
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血液滴滴流出，你慌張了，因為痛楚不是預測這樣出現，而是頭著地之時
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還好，反正始終你也在這幾年，在社會上死去了，學業中自殺了
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你感到氣流，是強風，颶風
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龍捲的氣流拉著你的禮裙，扯著那把顏色逐漸無趣的頭髮
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曾經，你蠢到甚至渴望有誰會欺凌你
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可是沒人在乎
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因為大家都可憐你
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可憐你的無能
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為你的悲劇感到哀愁
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認為你是一個受害者
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認為你是世界不健康的部份
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不該和你干涉
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在你面前，大家都表演得各自清門前雪，因為他們不想做壞人
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他們不想承認這個病態的社會
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宿主的存在是多麼危險
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他們要「人性化」
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他們要信條主義、儀式化
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因為他們不希望承認這個世界並不完美
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因為他們不想承認他們的恐懼
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他們不想死
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被宿主
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龍捲風的強力拉著你，你拼命跑，不知道方向，不知道如何
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在夢中，你逃跑，在現實中，你連跑的機會也沒有
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被這扭曲空間的旋渦吸收的，是來自夢境世界的
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是四次元的方塊，是銀色的水珠鏈，是巨大的書本，差點打中你頭頂的貨車
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學校的桌子、垃圾桶、家中的櫃子，唯一陪伴你的光明
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很多很多，你有印象的，但丟走了背後意思、其名字的夢，碎片
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這些碎片從四方八面而來，從你看不到的方向飛來，有些憑空出現，也有些到你面前時消失
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有些會改變形狀，有些外表的顏色會轉變，有些，你也不知道如何形容，你感覺到它在改變著什麼，但你不知道確實的內容，只是知道，那改變令你由厭惡，感到害怕
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這些碎片，迎面而來，你要衝過這一切並不容易
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尤如突破玻璃碎片一樣
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這些碎片割傷了人形的外殼和禮服
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痛楚是應該的，因為流出的，已經不只是樹膠，而是紅色的
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真是失禮
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你跌了下去，因為地板的碎片，也成為了龍捲風的目標
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你看著這把紫色的頭髮，隨重力下墜
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