The years have come and gone. College was a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things, as I did not remember any of it. My actions are full of lies, my words betray my innermost thoughts. My mind is not even my own. I say one thing and mean something completely different.
Am I broken?
They say if you have to question something, then you already know the answer.
But… I don’t want to be broken. I don’t want to be a pretty thing for someone’s arm with no other purpose.
I can’t fend for myself.
I can’t do anything anymore.
Your significant other isn’t supposed to break you. Your significant other isn’t supposed to keep going when you say no. Your significant other isn’t supposed to be a creature from that of fairytales, with the ability to induce debilitating pain. A relationship is by no means supposed to be easy, but it’s definitely not supposed to be this hard.
My mind shouldn’t be so twisted with his words telling me to feel things I don’t want.
I should be able to protect myself, but I… can’t.
Damon Salvatore was supposed to be a regular bad boy. Attractive in all the wrong ways but never to the extent that I’ve experienced. I’ve seen the devil in his blue eyes but I can’t escape. I’m his captive, his plaything.
Damon Salvatore isn’t human. He’s a vampire. He drinks my blood and tells me to forget the nonconsensual sex after. He tells me to forget so many things, it’s a wonder I’m not flunking out of college. I have no idea why he demands that I ace all my classes at Loyola. Washing out of school wouldn’t deter him getting from what he really wants from me. The only thing he wants from me.139Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJpNnLr8qU
I’m a blood bag and a fucktoy. That’s all I’ll ever be at this rate.
I want out of this life but I have no idea how to get out.
Sometimes, I feel like my mind has been completely obliterated. Other times, I’m almost in full control… even though I’m a puppet for a depraved and sadistic master. I’m a walking contradiction.
I never wanted this.
I’ll never want anything else.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
