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「宇誠,你今年有要去參加系上聯誼嗎?今年迎新,搞不好會遇到很多憧憬你的學妹喔!」一位染著滿頭金髮,身高略高,身材卻略顯單薄的男子說道。
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「不了,翔騰,我還得去補習班打工,沒有甚麼時間參加活動。」
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「每次都要打工,最好這麼缺錢啦,想要去的話,請一天打工也不會怎樣啊!真是可惜你這張英俊的臉,不知會迷死多少系上學妹。」翔騰捏了捏我的臉,擺出一副超級可惜的表情,顯得我做了什麼大罪般。
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「下次吧,我不想一直向家裡拿錢,而且賺錢的感覺讓我有點成就感啊!祝你早日交到女朋友吧!」我向翔騰揮了揮手,完全沒有想要前往的打算。
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「算了,你這守財奴,等我交到一個很正的學妹,再來向我哭訴吧!不見棺材不掉淚,你都不知道推了系上多少次的聯誼了,系草每次都缺席,你到底知不知道我們學生會很難做人啊!再見。」翔騰有些氣憤地向我回應,搖了搖頭,那無奈又失望的表情,彷彿就在提醒我再這樣下去,會永遠交不到女朋友,頭也不回地離開教室,整間教室只剩下我孤零零的一個人。
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我甩了甩頭,想要忘記以前那不堪回首的記憶,但那深刻又難得的回憶卻使我遲遲無法忘懷,深深烙印在我的內心深處。
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明明關係早已如花火般消逝,記憶卻如剛發生般地清晰,宛如一切都有機會挽回,重新開始。在想東想西的同時,我已不知不覺地走入補習班,很快地平復一下自己那低落的心情,準備開始一如往常的打工生活。
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在開始工作的同時,忽然間有一位小女孩扯了扯我的褲腳,差點讓我滑倒,滾落在那冗長的階梯,讓我膽戰心驚。
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我蹲下身,摸了摸小女孩的頭溫柔地說道:「怎麼拉,老師要忙,妳有問題的話,先去教室坐著,老師之後會去解答。」
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「可是,我等等要考試,沒有時間,哥哥現在就幫我解答一下啦!」這句話,配合著水汪汪的大眼,那請求的口氣,讓我無法一瞬間拒絕,我對小蘿莉真是沒有抵抗力啊!
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「你去忙吧,我幫你輸入資料,教學的事就交給你了。」女孩接了我手上的資料夾,示意要我去小女孩那邊。
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「謝謝妳了,育敏,那我就先過去,資料就交給你了。」
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育敏是我打工的補習班同事,永遠帶著一副黑框眼鏡,讓她謹慎完全呈現出來,是個相當可靠的搭檔,也曾經是我這個補習班同學,世界上永遠有這麼多的巧合,實在是不可思議。
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我坐到小女孩旁,輕聲說道:「哪題不會阿,老師來了。」
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小女孩看到我,整個欣喜若狂,跟剛剛的表情簡直截然不同,「這題怎麼算?我想不出方法解題。」
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我看了一下題目,告訴小女孩應該如何解題,剩下的工作就全權交給小女孩解題,看著她解題的一舉一動,簡直認真地迷人,那紅嘟嘟的臉蛋,加上堅定的神情,忍不住讓人多看一眼,真是可愛,有點像她。想到這裡,我又不經搖搖頭,站起來活動活動,都是翔騰談聯誼的關係,害我一直想起她,心中又有一股莫名的感傷。
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「我寫完了,老師你看是不是都對?」小女孩笑得相當燦爛,和她簡直如出一轍。
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我看了看算式,摸了摸小女孩的頭,無懈可擊,道:「沒錯,這題你算對了,真是聰明。話說,以前怎麼沒有看過你?你是最近才來補習的嗎?叫甚麼名字?」
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「我叫楊柔,是姊姊推薦我來的喔!說這家補習班的老師教書很有一套,讓我來學習一番。果然,老師很厲害,一次就讓我搞懂這複雜的考題。」
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「是嗎?雖然我想你姊姊說的老師並不是我,但還是謝謝妳。我叫陳宇誠,在這裡當輔導老師,請多多指教喔!」楊柔?跟她的名字也太像了吧?該不會她姊姊就是她吧?我明明有機會可以詢問楊柔,但卻產生一股奇怪的感覺,遲遲開不了口,想要逃避自己內心最真誠的渴望。
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「恩恩,那我以後就叫宇誠哥可以嗎?」
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「沒大沒小,要叫老師,真是鬼靈精怪。」我捏了捏楊柔的臉,露出那平常的假笑,心中卻覺得好像回到了自己還是補習班的時間,心情頗為複雜。
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我很快地埋首於補習班工作中,沒有注意到時間,抬頭一看,這才明白人已經走得差不多了,只剩下我、育敏、班主任和幾位學生。在主任說我們可以離開時,我與育敏這才心安理得地走出補習班,結束這看似短暫卻心神疲累的打工時段。
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「你今天是不是想起她了?」育敏以一種平淡的語氣說道,卻又參雜著一股執著的氣場,整個氛圍相當凝重,感覺我必須說實話般,有種完全被看透的感覺。
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「蛤,她是誰?」
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育敏沒好氣地說道:「算了,她是誰你心知肚明,你下週請不要再心不在焉了,給我造成很大的困擾。你還想著她吧,總是逃避,真不像個男人。」
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「其實我連自己的心情都搞不懂,明明想要徹底忘記,卻往往無法忘懷,真是矛盾。」
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「與其卡在原地走不出去,還不如勇敢的衝一次,就算失敗,起碼不會後悔,真是搞不懂你的思考邏輯,真是敗給你了。」育敏露出一臉無奈的表情,對我相當失望,完全不懂我在想什麼。
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「放心,我下週打工會提起精神的,就先謝謝你這個好夥伴囉!」
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「不想管你了,你需要從根醫起,唯有解開心結,才能真心釋然,再見。」育敏向我揮了揮手,直奔公車站,與我分道揚鑣。
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「再見。」我大聲告別,像是害怕育敏聽不清般,發出顫抖的聲音。現在想想,好像自從那件事之後,人人都對我的感情世界都特別關注,可能也是升上大學的關係吧!不管是育敏、翔騰,還是我的父母,每個人都想知道我的交往對象,好像這時我沒有交往對象很奇怪,一定會有一個一樣。
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我轉過身,突然眼前一片漆黑,被一股外力撞倒,頭硬生生地撞擊水泥地,痛楚油然而生,忍不住發出一聲哀號,簡直太倒楣了。
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「對不起,對不起,我沒注意到你。」一個身高約略一米五,臉頰紅潤,有著一股清香的長髮女孩不斷地向我道歉,很不好意思地向我九十度鞠躬。
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「沒關係,妳……」在我要講話時,我發現了一個奇怪的事,話語就硬生生地吞了回去,使我相當震驚,完全說不出話來。
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「老師,又見面了,老師還不回家喔!」楊柔向我打招呼,樣子還是一樣,頗為可愛。
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「老師?宇誠,你去補習班打工?」那女孩相當吃驚,像是認為我不怎麼適任的感覺。
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「姊姊,妳認識老師?」楊柔一臉疑惑,完全搞不清狀況。
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「柔柔,你先去旁邊,姊姊有話跟老師說。」
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「喔!」楊柔孤零零地跑到旁邊,但還是相當好奇地不斷往這裡看。
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「好久不見阿,楊庭。」
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「真的好久不見,沒想到你竟然跑去當老師了。」
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「有這麼驚訝嗎?我當初只是覺得我有更好的打工選擇,但找了找,還是補習班的打工型態最適合我。不聊我了,妳過得好嗎?」
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「很好啊,最近柔柔也長大了,課業越來越重,來找個補習班,沒想到竟然就遇到你這『老師』了,看來我們還是有些緣分的。」
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「是啊,雖然現在還是大學生,但看著學生一個個的更替,也越來越覺得自己有點老了,已經不是那以前最具活力的青春了。」
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「哈哈,沒想到連以前最風流的宇誠同學都講出這種話,看來我們確實不年輕了。」
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「時間催人老阿,我為以前的不成熟向妳道歉,是我對不起妳。」
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「其實已經沒差了,是我們當時都太不成熟,我也相當自責當初對你說的話,如果我們是在現在相遇,或許一切都不同了。我們只是在不對的時間遇上彼此,沒有誰對不起誰的事。」
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「謝謝妳的諒解,我們還是可以當好朋友吧?」
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「當然,我們還是朋友。」
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此時,千千萬萬的回憶,充斥著我的腦海,特別是與她相遇的片段,記憶的清晰度顯得格外清楚,像是最近發生的事情一樣。一起吃飯、一起歡笑、一起奮戰、一起遭罵、一起考試,兩人一起做的那些林林總總的事陸續印入眼簾,讓我不禁想起要是我再堅持一下我們的感情,要是我再認真守護我們的回憶,要是我為她再排除一切的困難。現在的一切,是不是就不會發生呢?我跟她的關係,是不是就不會像花火一般,隨時間而燃燒殆盡呢?
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「我還是老話一句,等我,等我能夠獨當一面,如果那時妳對我的心意還是不變,我必會排除萬難,一無反顧。」雖然她早已走遠,但我還是在心中期許自己可以來到這一天,想必這時間一定很快就到。這次,我不會再懦弱,不會再讓我們的聯繫像花火一樣稍縱即逝,但會像花火一般綻放光彩。
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