I love you. What are we supposed to do now? I'm not sure if I want to be just friends with you, Yeona. I want to do so many things that other couples do.
Jemina erased that message as soon as she sent it. What on earth was she thinking? Monday morning, second hour of biology class, she was already losing her mind. She was going insane. But, well, she sent a very similar one a few seconds later.
"I'm deleting it if she doesn't respond within two minutes."
Yeona was an excellent and conscientious student, so Jemina didn't think she could answer during class. When she checked to delete the message, she was shocked to realize that she had not only read the message but was also typing. Jemina was going to explode once more.
I'm sorry, should we meet during the break to discuss it?
We should have done it correctly before, sorry if it upset you, let's clear everything
Oh wait, maybe lunch break would be more suitable? We'll have more time to talk peacefully.
Jemina was pretty upset, knowing Yeona was feeling guilty when neither of them had done anything wrong. That poor girl was undoubtedly in a foul mood as a result of that idiotic message. But she was relieved that she had chosen to discuss it openly. She just replied, saying it was great and telling her not to feel bad about it. The hour after that was gone, and they were together for that class, but they both instinctively decided not to talk to each other for now and wait for the lunch break, which, as usual in class, felt like an eternity.
Jemina was already prepared to leave the classroom when the bell rang at 11:20. The teacher continued to lecture and gave directions for the following lesson. Jemina was uninterested. The only thing she wanted to do was go out and spend some time alone with her beloved, eating sandwiches and chatting joyfully in the park. Were they going to have a pleasant conversation? She had no idea, but how could it not be an exciting moment? She was going to eat out with the person she loved, just the two of them, enjoying the peace and tranquillity of nature.
While Jemina was already chatting and waving at a few of her classmates in front of the door, Yeona was taking her time leaving class. Jemina somehow managed to stop everything when she finally came out and gave her all of her attention.
“Should we stop at the grocery store and buy some sandwiches?” Jemina asked, full of excitement.175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n67KkAWDK
"Oh, yeah, sure," 175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5N3pj1KwmB
"Don't you think eating outside will be more enjoyable? We couldn't have a proper conversation there if we were in the noisy, crowded school canteen, right? 175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNXf6oqxSR
“Yes, yes! And the weather is pretty nice too!”
Talking about the weather is an old trick used by millions to avoid awkward conversations. As effective as it is, at least, Yeona was able to avoid the subject they needed to talk about. They quickly arrived at the grocery store just in front of the school. Both of them chose the vegetarian version of the famous sandwiches they made at that store, one for religious or cultural reasons (she wasn't particularly religious) and the other for personal preferences. They decided to buy candy and mango drinks as well. They then decided to go to the little park nearby.
Jemina suggested they sit in the grass. Despite the weak but bright sunlight of that January day, it was cold. Looking at the wet grass, Yeona frowned, apologized politely, and asked if they could sit on the swings instead.
They started eating slowly and quietly. Who would dare to break the silence? That is how serene it was; it was ideal. Maybe a little awkward, but if they kept quiet, it would be alright, right?
“I was surprised to find the letter that day, you know…” Yeona began. Someone had to start the conversation anyway. “ I could not dare think it could be from you!”
Jemina chuckled. Not only did she say it funny, but she also remembered it so clearly herself! Of course, she couldn't miss her reactions, so when Yeona returned from the restroom, Jemina was watching her. Yeona's face was always so expressive, and it was easy to tell what she was thinking just by looking at her. Jemina saw it very well.
“After all these months, I thought there was no way on earth we could, you know, be something together.”
Both of them had the same thought.
Even though Yeona didn't share Jemina's feelings, Jemina had the confidence to act because she knew Yeona would never act improperly in response. She might also be able to let go of her feelings and move on if she was actually rejected. Was she genuinely convinced of it? No. But it was enough to do it.
“I always thought the guy who would win your heart was going to be the luckiest. You know, even after "that," I couldn’t imagine you liked girls.”
“I suppose I don't really look “gay." That was something someone once told me, kind of offensive! But you did kiss me, and it would be a lie if I pretended not to think about it frequently.”
She laughed
She had butterflies every time she recalled that kiss. Her first kiss was brief but memorable, etched in her consciousness for the rest of her life.
“What should we do now?” Jemina asked with fear. Was she ready for anything herself? She wanted their relationship to be completely transparent. After all the emotions, dread of rejection, and daydreams, as she had previously stated, she could not picture herself as just an ordinary friend. She had such intense feelings for her that it was difficult to put them into words. But to be honest, she felt like she had really found herself after accepting that she was a lesbian and in love.
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