Jemina was able to gather her thoughts, wake up from her daydreaming, and return to her bed, where she let out the tears that were ready to drown her. She made no attempt to open the items Yeona had given her before leaving. She simply held them tightly. What could they possibly be? An MP3, an envelope, was it a song and a letter? Plausible. She was a bit afraid of what she may discover inside, but she was trying to rationalize again and gently calm her heart.
Would someone take the time to do all that if it was just to reject her feelings? It would be unnecessary, useless and actually kind of sadistic. Was Yeona someone who could be cruel? With her cute pinkish hair, big round eyes, and chubby cheeks, she was most likely the type of girl who enjoyed cute activities; no vicious idea could live in her mind, right?
Jemina began to feel better and chose to listen to what Yeona had recorded on the MP3. She was wondering why she had given her the headphones with it. But she managed to calm her heart, gather her senses, and actually sit up in her bed. She was terrified of whatever it may be. She inhaled deeply and turned it on. She had trouble understanding how to though, because she had never used anything like it before. She eventually discovered something after a few unsuccessful attempts. On it, just two audio tracks were recorded. The first one she came upon was simply captioned ” lovely letter and a cup of tea.”
It was three minutes and a few seconds long. The second one, “few kind words for J.” Assuming “J” was related to the way she signed the letter, she guessed it was the direct answer to it. So, in a logic way of thinking, it was the first thing she was supposed to listen to.
Even if she stated she wasn’t expecting a response, she couldn’t be happier. She was relieved because there was absolutely no way Yeona would go through all of that only to tell her she did not like her.
“To my beloved J...” began the audio.
Jemina had to pause after only the first two words. The sound of Yeona’s voice in her ear was far more flustering than she had anticipated. Her heart was ready to burst, and she needed to mentally prepare for what was going to be said. It will be alright. She restarted it and took a deep breath in.
“To my beloved J…’
Starting a letter is as difficult as you stated in yours, and I wanted to try to find another unique approach to express my feelings for you.
You can not imagine how enjoyable it was to read your words. And yes, if I had known that night would be our last encounter for a few weeks or months, I would have let you kiss me longer.
I apologize for running away; I was surprised, and my heart would have definitely burst if I had to gaze at your beautiful eyes for more than a second.
Jemina, I love you as well.
And I would never have dared to approach you or express my feelings, so I can only congratulate you on your bravery and determination. It should have been difficult to get the confidence to do so, but it was well worth it, wasn’t it?
My words will be brief and insignificant in comparison to yours, but I wanted to respond to you creatively, like you did.
I’ve known you for... three months? But I can’t picture my life without you right now.”
“Oh God Oh God Oh God...”
“Suddenly, after that night, all the love songs I used to appreciate were about you. And I want to believe that we were meant to be.”
Oh, God!.
Jemina had never prayed to God in this way before, but she was about to explode. She could not stop smiling, either. Her heart filled with a warm feeling she had only felt once in her life after hearing it. That girl was already driving her crazy.
She couldn’t fell happier than at that moment. She wanted to listen to the second tape as soon as possible and began to play it, but her father returned with her siblings just as the audio began. They hurried up the stairs, scaring her, and she had only enough time to hide the MP3 recorder and headphones in her school bag.
She then stood up and walked downstairs to see her father.
“You should put the groceries away fast. I’ll start cooking after prayer.”
Her mother was asleep again, and her father began to grumble.
“When I come home, I always find her sleeping, ugh. Instead, I should have married a Moroccan! Instead of snoozing, I’m confident she’ll meet me with a wonderful dish when I get home.”
He returned to the room he shares with his wife, laughing awkwardly.
Their relationship was something very strange. Jemina believed that if they were still together, it was because of her and her siblings, since love was no longer something they wanted to pretend to have for each other. It was not surprising after sixteen years of shared existence.
They said it was for the kids.
Was it, however, the case? They preferred to let their children go through the fights? They’d rather let them suffer through their mother’s poor mood, their violent disputes, the cups smashing against the wall, the slaps, the loud voices shouting, the continual ranting, the dumb and ignorant jealousy? Or the undesired mental pressure to remain silent, even when their father left when they returned home from school one day, for example.
Nobody should have to live in fear of their father leaving them one day because he couldn’t handle it any longer.
Isn’t Jemina now too old to be affected by it? She was able to look after her brothers when the adults who were supposed to protect and cherish them were arguing. It wasn’t a huge concern since they always got back up all lovey-dovey after a day, a week, or a month. She was used to it; crying was the only thing they could do in these situations besides ignoring them, as their mother often instructed.
She expected no response until the next morning because it was late at night, but when she sent it, she got a reply almost immediately.
I’m glad you enjoy the song, I’m still learning how to play the kalimba, but I did my best.
It’s already so sweet of you to have taken the time to create a musical piece just for me.
I adore it a lot.
Your voice sound so sweet too
Oh, you’re being kind again .
I’m serious!
I believe you!
And just like that, the conversation started and they chatted for most of the night until one of them fell asleep.
No words can express how much I love you
Jemina was feeling like she was dreaming. She pinched herself several times and even if she could feel the light pain, she still couldn’t believe it. It really felt like a dream. She took the time to go through the conversation they had, just to make sure. It was, indeed, real. She was so tired at that time but at the same time, she was so excited of what the next day could be like. When she felt like she was falling asleep, she decided to listen to that song Yeona dedicated to her.. Even if the other girl said it was not very good, Jemina could not agree. Was it because she was crazy in love? Maybe. But for her, Yeona’s voice sounded like a warm hug for her soul.
Even if it was Jemina’s sole thinking that night, they did not discuss their relationship. They didn’t truly know one other, as previously said. Worse, they didn’t speak to each other after that evening. Even if they clearly said that they were in love with one other in the letter, audio, and music they exchanged, waiting a little longer before beginning a romantic relationship seemed more logical. What would she do if they jumped into the thing and it didn’t work? What would she think? They decided to start by being friends. They had plenty of time, didn’t they? Engaging in a romantic relationship was not that important for now.
What is a girlfriend if she is not a nice friend to whom you are romantically attracted anyway? It might have a more strong feeling associated with its appellation “girlfriends”, but that’s how Jemina felt about that dilemma. Perhaps she was simply attempting to console herself, but she chose not to concentrate on it too much.
Before falling asleep, she genuinely prayed to God to fulfil her request, something she rarely does. She was unattached to that holy figure, and who could blame her? Religious education, as well as her parents imposing so much on her, took away the very little faith she had. Praying five time a day ? She had avoided them for as long as she could, and when her parents were not around, she didn’t even bother to pretend. But sometimes, especially when she is alone in her bed, sobbing at night, she recalls that God is supposed to be present and prays to him, begging him to make things easier for her. After all, in these awful religious class, they teach that God is always present when someone asks for guidance, support or protection, but nothing comes of it. Nothing.
She was hoping this time. Even if it was for sinful things…
The weekend passed pretty nicely for both of them; they did nothing out of the ordinary, not even chatting; they were both apprehensive and nervous. Who could fault them?
Monday arrived as quickly as it always does. When the alarm went off, Jemina took a long time to realize she had been dreaming. She was waking up from a curiously erotic dream that she was too ashamed to even consider rethinking. When she dared to visualize a few scenes from her dream, the butterflies in her stomach became wild and aggressive. She was used to the glittering sensation in her tummy, but this time it was intense, yet u somewhat very pleasing.
She was then in a very, very good mood. When she walked out in the morning to catch the bus, her family was quite confused. She was typically grumpy and didn’t say anything to any of them. But she was on her way to see her adorable little pink-haired girl. She had become the main reason she got out of bed in the morning. And she couldn’t be happier that they’ve begun their friendship.
Unfortunately, they did not choose the same class, and Mondays passed without them seeing each other before third period. However, it was a little relieve for Jemina, who was not as psychologically prepared as she had hoped.
Yeona was a literary genius with an artistic soul. She would have definitely chosen plastic art, English literature, and maybe geopolitics or French literature and philosophy, but her parents had enormous hopes for her. Art? They did not want to hear anything about it. What type of life would she have if she pursued art as a career? It was not the type of job she could perform for money (since, of course, art is a single thing anybody could do!). So they had her pick all scientific classes. She wasn’t very gifted at mathematics, but she didn’t have much of a choice. People argue that parents should not and cannot actually influence your life because it is obviously yours, but is it really that simple?
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