Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtE2dhNEDt2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnks4cudCxG
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBnuwAWmlY
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkbZyapHaG
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0oU5MvU5T
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd9LHgLMZ7
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdiDfY7wIP
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44zy9k1LRL
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOh2KZ1Vk6
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkc6Lth6CE
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCWO0IiaB4
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZOexPdN5M
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGuSo9ab8K
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37hMiUYRy2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EDjkC9nhS
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfyvmaKnXr
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy3XIUz9qY
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtd7ooIitLZ
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5w2CfzWZv
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IkA81QwRU
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJamtnoLvE
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT16CZgiiY
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeVmSRDuNA
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5svkTmUh7
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7paIBrz5Q
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG5E2oEfPi
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBHtwuGRVk
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPuyqttuke
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpar6eEYVB
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4CA1lJak9
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ipMCotTw
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD64hNl0je
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj6vuneqyA
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJPIkfk6PR
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoWXmqNpoO
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy4tzhG8ld
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DdsUSwWPs
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JqL21gtHB
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TLLmLOwHz
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVVS5zdxQh
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelmuqMnhgN
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsCqQbpBCX
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEiEryXhbV
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje2L0w5JvA
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqWf6xdcBA
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARbH1joNZ7
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQiHMYcWcH
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2HlCnQb8P
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyAqASrRqg
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQpoghZk93
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdW3DSPf7L
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuSRCwQWWW
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3yFzBg2Oi
*•*•*•*733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVVaqVAB3P
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjxUjnIPHy
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQV5v4NMzq
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadPyfi33w6
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPSCCU6Pkq
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNRMINW86J
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oNdPBRvW9
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLEU5WRAkD
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8PK2G8plz
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgX1vAYLZe
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8exaxCp7x
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xmiJc0PV6
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCKludaeh0
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zodiDT2gC
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1U9nHGtw2C
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXOhbJEvhB
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl09RSvITUt
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuxItcoWRz
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTV8Tj0nbD
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8rLkKnLOE
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq4quP8FSA
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6aTbxTkFF
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq17qhYKCYD
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkTJaHnRtF
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI4I19WcXV
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfrsZ4SiDK
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwCLS69CiU
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkxfvSuDdv
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdgR3XGDBR
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6P8WY8uZi
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym07m3pOrD
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLD4IFkTTZ
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu9hXD1nsw
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsITX8pboH0
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny3g9tAdTR
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmR8knkmh7
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYZyjOdNXd
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7KMMPD6tO
"It won't be painful—"733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3zAd8FWrK
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIDA9owLuf
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrzxYxVUNz
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDyGGe4sVn
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC2TM1psQ1
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Hd0rIHnnG
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFheIBBVgEA
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoOhKm6gk2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiYYXgUPBD
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZZB17NfNW
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPah8AKARw
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiSGT0IrnZ
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMIpKXH4LS
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhtqywZOr1
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRptERtxqI
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmylKLooUP
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZZZ70wYKH
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcS2TT1zOY
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUHtsQVHlm
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjrGAOSOll
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKe2C9NV0c
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyMUJ4c4OY
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf6KNIMT05
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yK2B6ro9C
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTX5ZwPCYqG
This is it.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuqqrUw22F
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOhSmzDRI1
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKp3FG3j0M0
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzkFjIHnYw
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKU01DV0AiQ
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2LTucI2rt
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpohItcil4H
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHvrp56wNb
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyeKfRzMwZ
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tn8yRDnv2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsmgTjCdX2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCED5njUT7W
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQXO0LEeyq
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9a0nvKCwc
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdELBYVuMoa
I freeze.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7QAk0jAoH
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW03rbqF5xe
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtjtHXR3Xo
Then I breathe.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZCihOOTt9
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFSerrTua5
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbRZPMwew4
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtf0MRfbCfn
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ281ubW4JR8
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw1yjI6IWG
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD7RnzwoYG
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq95Aon3K0A
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL2axZlMLN
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fVZR8J7H7
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuIOYva2HX
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2cJgovdDx
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDZJodBlrT
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4Cm2Z25Gz
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6TTLr2aXT
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBMIgicyaY
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hsqgtRS9Q
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxDssJpWwL
Something isn't right.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYVr8EA54D
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5uzCDbShQ
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIY9T3Ltl2
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMICwoZtQc
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPitIEJogRT
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou49a5QAgX
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA2uoAy83t
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQRJUmGcaz
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1aZDIIiKH
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJ7Kqn0oMX
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7gg8TgMUI
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJ6B2Khqb4
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lwFL2fhFx
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkU1It6JOOV
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAql8d8oaqq
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsrj7D9P36
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kZsdKvGEa
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAGQjnxiWz
His lips twitch. 733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgzsksUJC2
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCJ32weoZT
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfCqJ1rwj9
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6RBCi2m3B
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52D1QwlgKU
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZQLr9LFqT
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyjGSGhbAd
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLl3uKYw4TG
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBlESJjv9R
"Okay so what do I have?"733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DDJxXMIug
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJZrnhjSWH
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhGDG0R8Uh
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyqzR5pi4b
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO2Y5grAya
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTVF16XDPQ
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd4YE314rV
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1denLWd7di
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLEl9yqGbz
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuOZgveB3I
733Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj3sg0aTa6
