Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NI7kryEEi
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUpyI8kVFC
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8o4t5uisi
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhXgmW28zw
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcS3UNPAkS
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5pIWRvdBB
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1UNY96TJk
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIdb7gMGLb
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47hX1qBtLA
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnT8oQ6uVwL
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH6BwKPN1M
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxaeh4p6bF
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFDr63qCmk
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuxBHhvCCL
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5g2SMdDf3
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRjhxKBIJm
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvQ5anwsFV
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Pa4wXnKr6
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIDgWsS8xv
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xKOTtVa7k
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP7fd07BpN
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt4to3cDu1
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmr7lFLgR2
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ0drd9Jwv
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCVkFoAWXq
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeto790RbQ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1AyrF2gGw
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwx7TOsfNw
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKgfrOxzG1
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRMcSYvOML
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinvmiMk61m
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wcZSvlRKM
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGowTlK3yc
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mCCwNY1jF
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD15PyqAsHb
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXFwWJxsBm
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLymVFm4H4j
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOvKEnf2M7
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX2tvBI9Ms
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYidRTN4Xa4
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwWLcyxbSg
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIyWyP2wqV
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpitA7TCC2
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARyTk6E0Ia
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2NcZ9UaKy
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx8av2E4rA
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwJrl0oZ3k
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCwcZf2hrG
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTpePvGaXU
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yIjCxTxRs
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjmnwfPnKP
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLERZZpvGpj
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyJNlGE6Mj
*•*•*•*763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCvEDRsKW8
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbxi51NvEe
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHegG6diDoc
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn5Xxo7Hae
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDKvsyqFPZ
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡil2M44gHCg
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4rvLMqFxz
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtfeWN1JLf
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxsbmvuPSZ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12OwQEbzex
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzzyeLqkFD
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIwj6SkcpG
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wX57N99xx
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxZAJx08MP
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcEIkTwjuo
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15KEGGSM8C
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlNvOM1cJM
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FeDObWO4N
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHvTS8cXzZ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplja6mOVDb
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJ86oVCIqq
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrR16JvP5L
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yADxkzIkJ
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAs9iySqRNz
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9N2AJslhJo
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodfeaczcbv
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYVj2toRHu
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb991fS45Ik
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcTMRs4D3W
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKNGWM6eNB
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGLbYMFpL0
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf9Av0DQ2B
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp65RPCuVN
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIlHNgJBj5
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0riG0wx2Y
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwYl21CRMu
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShxP2low25
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ijCGc2sCn
"It won't be painful—"763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOreDWyMd5n
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXmuR5J1AF
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4tqFshK5J
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvLPADZ4VY
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspQGzwiUMp
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJkfJ56lDs
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIyJrJqGuP
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO86b39o5J3
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL697cKLTo5
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztLqW6IBA9
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9oGDkScxf
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhttbEjDanL
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56cWkkoEHb
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEmvCPCTWF
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiW5ZeXTTE
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5NYuY2lIX
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JsIvvxHuN
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mhU5UoYDN
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnfz0UY9My
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2Wejs91Lv
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iuE7uAppE
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhOKGQmKmP
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfEy0TiI9j
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA26ncEETLN
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVzR5hIGQi
This is it.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDGzHRtVXk
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzitlzOKXa
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe5oy5l0tv
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mXjPntlvC
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1hdbn2uSR
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xnYZFtvZU
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU2BKiShlZ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC1sU5rdkR
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXjWtd7E9l
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoic73ytyyJ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnirv9t4pU
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91AojQu31c
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6CpOpcAYU
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsndeSbWTCR
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsmoqF27PI
I freeze.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc1pdNY8ey
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iPmfzUBru
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozUMauBFfx
Then I breathe.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytsk11VbCX
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEAptmGVx0
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMOnjZZt63
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB2zkg27N2
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdECjf2Yth
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBJmDfqJwb
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRMCsELWFT
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JR8KUPoe3
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc01Jw0vp5k
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfRw2e3IyF
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF54iw1g0bL
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dzq3vU5q1
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthOnendq9F
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3PpKRY6Hg
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNhcyJCGF4
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAFrmxWkTO
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINyFxuzM34
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzo1LpEovlk
Something isn't right.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwyHgyDt0A
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctSeo3JZsQ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGHPfYGqMB
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF53I93r55K
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9RbN8bdSy
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62BdUNmVcU
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oH4JID8Z2
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjP6UYp3RTb
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDjQLgoaAA
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfDwdYYRue
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeLkk1vsyL
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFlAjLRmW6
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5dGcndm66
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzEBW86m7X
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeIqpNHoPf
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bmt3DT848
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBCGfhdWbf
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUk85JdZfi
His lips twitch. 763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTMT4aMyRx
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezile3xnhG
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5aJuPILYJ
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5VkttdEOM
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9LhRT4Reu
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwYuiR0dJo
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0NTW3JNrW
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj61D2SpjiZ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIxxqqSyKZ
"Okay so what do I have?"763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUm04gIyPI
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtjTpKLDIO
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcZa3rJ0QI
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxGkePaBfQ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETCha6QSjo
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnOoJZkTXJ
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF2c1DzOyn
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvUOuD3ZwP
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf5nz6sZsK
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfm4HhlC41
763Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEDtHFeTCh
