Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAMtwf2Bcz
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYv6aHmv6t
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvQj7oWvot
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv3QDAgxqW
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc5VNJWYmo
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnr3NL3vRQ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtDtvNjuK8
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRhetdgE5E
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KQ73U0FAI
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6wbc6Ky4k
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ402Ic5EU2V
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUvxm73Oud
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a5pceH3h8
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2cZfpNy7i
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSWlvNEuaE
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh80l4VbKg
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnpl7T3r8Y
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NmzupiBKp
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVTp9IMNbc
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKMwv1zrm8
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncw88jpbbi
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9VIS0iSsU
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcJBlYg68e
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDgOo4ALVT
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmGOXczqTC
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHvtcWdTw6
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNACjIHROp
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHWRYEwFKh
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4nm9FlX6q
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmw6WpnLaN
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmClp8lwdk
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL101QaEpGl
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMdqxc510i
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5NivXdb7r
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX3248AkGZ
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLe3M7UQe4
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXjsab27oL
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6L1Y8YsEC
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx8PAOVg7T
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFYF0picM2
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqLz1eWvpl
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkjrQSuutK
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwB8lellFH
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhl7PbAEUW
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyTGWaRJZx
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaVWItpnYB
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpSCpwz3DQ
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW2quTHhXA
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3AP3yQsI0
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuIOn3RUis
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRTTXY0Rdy
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1Q0aqAQyo
*•*•*•*690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwKRgool0k
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftrhT6ajEb
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5N54Lgoah
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSR39H407E
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksKuic3pVH
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0jMFjqbdA
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DHP635EjW
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mjmJ9yaHr
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8LPeMRD7x
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwJ4LVYMCs
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVdxmL7t77
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh4w2U7GeZ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPggZMN0TLD
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5MfBLLzns
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdtVDuxcPE
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKWGuNrlZG
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMYVMw8Wve
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiLN4WZCq3
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMxpyaoVOi
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy10GU8Cf9
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoo1xka6tT
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmLDAURaEP
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XA7iouNyT
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZM0Ikj6sv
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlu14Edjnqb
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUkx655RJr
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2AAfJfQvl
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4efy5wHcL
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXiyBO12ar
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w89IPcQ3J
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZj43dznr1m
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc1YlH61cq
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKkqfcfbU4
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAMHX2EImg
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnTFaqrRML
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMure2XfL5o
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksGLaDZZmN
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqIff93orh
"It won't be painful—"690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjv5HZ8hQA
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy7wSbaKKW
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuHBnqXrkK
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM6yCjEmrK
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDE9tKrVRj
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYe5qQfcES
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFxKx6McNL
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8MihPHz0i
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVeDW3Pt7T
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw6werqXQH
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwTMGIBWSg
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZNtTgt5ok
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8vRMQOlJD
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7GGksQT1Y
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpp24k0zm30
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4HVbuyOIu
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjWzDJCLLY
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1dt41zBmz
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2GFFz4xeJ
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ26P7uUlm
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYMYJP1sLP
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMB2WNjzpc
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH4NJ6gWmV
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkB9zHFet7
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT0LU7vy5S
This is it.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGxMJtcswq
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpTarwXyWY
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTbioT6HDD
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm64JBUeESe
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr85t0emUi
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXwJKmr5Vt
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9CZk9ynW5
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcookJ24bm
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoX7WEfTrB
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBeprhuvXf
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVK1pAfapa
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Xhs8EPtIz
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kbhys919b
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoW9GBwSK5
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3u7A66Pya
I freeze.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRIQ0qkfAL
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIUTxaflr4
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRArq2KmhQ
Then I breathe.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwabnfA4Il
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9h1V88W27
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpL3TenCmD
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f6N6xzPdZ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZDLJJrRbm
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTH7H73qQA
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0JyL7kfQJ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55bIc9m2su
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmEdxlzMMu
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo3oV1lPmO
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5cRtB7Oa8
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX27VENsoR
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV7E3GqDHf
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu38ytTHjbJ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgSHpsZ38c
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeHN0IUHLm
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZRo3UhgQR
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysl3s497LW
Something isn't right.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqV7qlgn5i
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAkJnKN5mP
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9s3DBFHVa
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs8upcu2oQ
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2E3MQ8r1q
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm79NrRb8q6
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIika6LI1m
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21SJRj4tKi
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTVL96Ep8a
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEqdcJCkoy
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhogBNNnLu5
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOawfsqn1S
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtmrMDmIWr
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzq4WdZKgY
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC51NSsTfiw
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbG07MZuWa
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTVgrZT4IM
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2qRQJsIyw
His lips twitch. 690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEfI1DIiDw
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq7CA0a3zL
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1PENRCRdZ
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xe0WIPFJD
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK2uW1Zis3
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynWYkhNgop
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h0qElfxR7
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo964i2ntIU
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgRoX22KYG
"Okay so what do I have?"690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OWuXCkBuW
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKcSuhc6ej
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjkIOQ2zP5
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPUdv3LVgF
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5lKZEQ2Hj
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcaw0KiT8v
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGyAO78T40
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVFGoHUayM
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbNRr9Yur1
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pIL4xDwxI
690Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhv7HBFcmX0
