Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u0pMraM9C
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRsXUMvNWN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29IfdAOfEb
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIjnedViOh
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbJX2hxvlI
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUCm3gEwPf
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0li0bfh0Xl
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LR9Dx4T1p
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW0yldFz6c
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY86ybaxepm
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1m1Ak7oSM
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUXqOyUjWx
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf71Gx0svz
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvsJQ6cgle
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHid3JEY6r
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK37IqvdJvz
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz5688CQ0w
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3n5dVU6s0E
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qVrnBjnhq
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWFWtVcLqM
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN0ZogD1u6
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMX9Itrm5e
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l1pwuWrYn
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV8AICiODo
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVwOkybwGw
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzJrWE1ySS
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjGXC65346
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCoBLHJ3Rb
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpxGLuQ4tk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaPSithQpb
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejrI7C7uH3
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy37eAqP1Pu
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC0MzXyKuN
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMjcLkBgUc
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kdF7Hy4lL
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMI85xJlzF
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y5aZY7W71
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvLMHztbOx
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHxBseyuST
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmy72jagsc9
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK63kkc9w4P
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAK5XBYIWZO
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFfjADFeIT
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtdr9NpjVn
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO30llCdGdV
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM7uVmwXen
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1J6OqrWnS
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv2v2OfNnM
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2A18RCTMJ
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnTASEeSW3
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboHn0zV4jB
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0xFHIlhnN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ6ZFa6oGv
*•*•*•*738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCurqjlSTKX
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxmeaioGht
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqRrv6QORg
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuosNWErTU4
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJmCTRmWrn
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡds2R90KujT
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDW0mEPUpl
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU4D9Gd4ll
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipxfoI2CIQ
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQdFj2Z8cP
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePyeOgi6TJ
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVVmaTTmsh
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzaNP7fhj2
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj1ztpLfll
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTO7UauT2Lw
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4To8hxeGk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofPfduRuPj
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxqZzL5I2U
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypcAQNhhlk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PKvVOkZdI
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY4caOUbA7
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl18zSH2mTK
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLd5TP8Xk1
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyb0SMGTdN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5H9BdjFH3f
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24DgBY1G6C
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxk25qaI6q
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqW5JG9Sj4
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VhXelgkG6
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxtPPYNDkn
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIs5R0jymv
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrWr7inoZp
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGM7fe1eBe
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E0jrC8nr6
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWL02VuCXF
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7ga3ZquJh
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Wc6AiQOj
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUcqDHHlFA
"It won't be painful—"738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtnU13oG6V
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFtn4hq86h
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9CTlAMGFm
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE0sxRmCz4
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXDfKcH2ND
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXt3hLzYyO
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8CHC6FIJj
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQnH1IojXf
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpzfLdnMh8
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qErRQXqAE
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3Ox3W2vmF
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt1meGcwyW
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyffMRDivqn
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPw0vnf37g
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVHEHG53gO
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0Gfwyud7N
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxF1MycD7lk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGJpm1XTiK
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVmo9G9pVC
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAOwq80HMT
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1l8rc40jzn
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQFp15PUUO
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnx7RWryq1F
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLsl7izznh
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9EfsYSaxV
This is it.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAwKLjkQoA
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bLXsKCgt9
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmSSfy0R5g
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHuwLc6OlL
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN1eyFDX9l
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSP65LCiDI
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ81oBTS3k6
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn0pU0a4nH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hqHNGHDLm
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQuqjCHwWc
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSJJ11QMO7
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiERZol9CO
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNHKTT7QoH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgDrFLBfL1
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4grFzFbj2Q
I freeze.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfCoFXtqg4
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLNagFGXwF
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFIKymThcg
Then I breathe.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53THIUNIxr
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgLdfuRsCH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0ivbub68u
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYhPi5vouk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wbz0rLm9q
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDC2xGFy4g
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAIRCDjxOc
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mxMEa2j9k
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglDapXcJgT
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vTaD20xV4
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQSo6Q1cLq
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziJ99QjaFq
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3KPDcdiul
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSBVqy5MlK
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6YJgmfIVS
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjOGRO71yV
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuNKLnLGlv
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJTCxvagL4
Something isn't right.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTfjKMnUX4
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraS8jDx3He
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwyXbOj1CN
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX9GTstTEx
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0LcQzmsIg
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMz2UaCW2o
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhokfwzdHz
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfhvWIJh1i
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt07K9nRXU
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsWHEfIIjx
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmxEdUi22K
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLS3yxewbs
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJl0WEiNFM
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX4GaFTPzt
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Aq7vBqiPH
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDZDkngp3b
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxspTWWngm
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OqNaUfET9
His lips twitch. 738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL1qhxyOtE
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkkGkNIutN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvY0NDQsQT
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1ivvg8k2f
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NyD4RAEpT
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu6wawGjg0
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63guWHqpn0
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYL7G5HlPWd
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gtYasbOPu
"Okay so what do I have?"738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOamEkXzd2u
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxYl4RnGqH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3J2soqvKy
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby2WYk1VZ2
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgOG8wK103
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBG0ylc1wB
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTC8YUlYao
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9RR54ndEo
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxveJIkykgk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIy9Kbf1IVv
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUcrrHH5Ry
