Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOYE5iKC9z
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDux8jltflE
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ1JhObVPu
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC15ux7OMmD
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaqLfVqFcy
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1fKgXbTVh
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG1CtlXPJU
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcFeytwrM9
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkDPGY4DMK
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGQKlkUCVC
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQG9UXoGyZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqc5zdyT2l
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH7XoQyTQ6
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJhcAO6sR5
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iIKaYQojS
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYL0EPXzBs
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BqFxCYqtH
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fFBKaiEby
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwCHuHpNMz
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyNLN5gOXk
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxax2OmP3Y
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLIjXNvq4T
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74ekIBLOC7
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDMsrhP6gY
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTpr37JFPv
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxS3sZURpw
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJqEE2QZbT
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguVTCiqPdo
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EdxAjIkc4
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Gv4lkzWRF
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kfQlv4dwz
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1HRGDBmbR
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI9SGtAAz9
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12UOKtzMNX
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYr5O0xO9jU
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFc7ZNgtDGj
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuA9pptXrz
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0Iyox0oHu
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3toYpgM5q
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF3rZ7HjzJ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh19w9pi4l
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WTnIrdpGB
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qG9kDQoBz
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcdT2HbHER
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MIEYyvLQF
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBJbrtewlq
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheELNNAA3L
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNycNBlkm7
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvmT28afky
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3YBjgmypX
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqAPNh844f
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSLtfNmqY7
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rHtZWnQPr
*•*•*•*739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKLfaGt3Ef
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW7KvIMj4A
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGWBKqYhTW
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeWdUjoGpL
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERiywa1FHn
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLCa0AEBSR
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrMWJDr2pn
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTX8GnFF55
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CTx2RGMEh
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWBK3X4Q5g
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsacLzbPYyY
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcmqITd2Ry
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXPgaDFspC
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmky5XLbnL4
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqDWHZy6zC
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrLiII9abw
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5i5R7iDEk
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bLtiG44R5
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fCfUyeH6e
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y82cMOYKx
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNhCp875kt
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCzXDrCwJd
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkqacz07mL
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHBQ98Aie0
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Kxqi2o2Bx
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1egZqMKqpr
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z2zxVD9OW
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcNuzZEI0r
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEjT2YeRaL
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUhrL8a3XV
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43vlDNx33V
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYczwdgVpq
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yWOO5zxO1
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv206BnzPYw
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2xYcCeAIp
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrWq4px4UJ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Uy5fnz1JP
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3DyYEjNiE
"It won't be painful—"739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIoQYcDoMQ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DGilivMLv
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidr3PavOSI
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY1T9eGpks
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UJWrvnGfN
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3pqRJWYJl
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshOXNyjsbd
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI526DWZKZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpToS7W29vJ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2Ca0nrCA0
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q1JrgbOw4
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo750ibrCG
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbth5qV5yv
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61Jdajc1jl
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsEjM522MZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbYoKXaSBm
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloAY6wcLov
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMd1AMnrfZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzCg5zaCBN
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCrMRMFS7u
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0bFDdzFOY
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ2apO7ROc
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGcj2Suqn8
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStcy3EN2ZR
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi9LqwZ9SO
This is it.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1HHW8XUX3
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AudFwoPkv
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoMzW6ZSuE
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp2RxxSGBZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcgbSMKbwI
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaGvnqW16k
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO2tPB9ylE
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vWxUekwa4
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeNYXYYxH1
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh92KWAprP
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGNBmkhYBn
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmjMnrWHKX
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a3xpTdJGz
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2Z9nGzjUw
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbG413qopv
I freeze.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMjH56R6RH
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IbdA93BQs
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pJbOMhzcH
Then I breathe.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRzLjsvMeq
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mHQxvYczL
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxemNDlFE2W
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvtfkyFdmU
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyNX9DPVfA
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVZI9tyZLI
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAT20p82hD
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVhbof9Lps
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EHiirtt77
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69LG3zkQVr
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJnVWgTppV
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl8ZWWqVpr
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb9KmCrXTI
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklQwyTcaaN
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUUIeimKds
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokH1p2Yv32
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMhekosl8r
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivfrbsSV5D
Something isn't right.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WTw4pqUpZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKDJAdNLrG
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhxbOqMJ3Z
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNeYPTPt62
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCb6VrjBbv
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhCDHd7o5q
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYAeiKH4iK
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGyWr8eyRJ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuie8PINONi
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMZGMsq99u
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGBPReEG9J
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyx3DWUIbZ
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXPMfqMiy9
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJenapxZby
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfgOUZuPCr
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtArBG3FmzM
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rNf9JoOO8
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq5PT9kwHG
His lips twitch. 739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7gwJPnhrV
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbAN8fuupZ
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDlvBlkjvt
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5Igf0TMN7
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJQIsquESH
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAnnWnc07w
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2q8WC4QXS
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrF8zbQQza
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc3oqUo6P2
"Okay so what do I have?"739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeaUAS73xT
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO2ele7pVP
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNXqtKfBLy
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjqM4bI2rS
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHfn3BhuSW
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiSWDF158Q
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tgBetSGWl
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydmvcZ21CX
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfcFi4Cl1f
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6vkKacrwn
739Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1ZCLyHEXJ
