Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3w56YNmrt
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vOXa5cns9
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRTkEZrumI
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQmHgJQqQW
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH1OXPO1HT
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Hc5XXJgoE
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH4G35yXBG
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0wEF4YMAL
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbboh0GWbSD
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ5fPcD6dt
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJxfYF6TRn
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjcH0oIXkp
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFs0dDdVyO
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjiZshFWHa
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3p5wzPvpUF
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX77MvhxXec
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbEozoBjdy
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RJtdl8PF1
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFjXsEcrbs
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uYiNlbFyl
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t5M56xQat
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvWGuajkk6
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGcBO1TJR0
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKwBANgmN7
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDym1iIXxa
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvGToXYjli
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MuCL9AwEz
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qqRJgcQBG
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsH8arov2O
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmythNmlpR
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgWsXTVRUs
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5DwNQaJ2Y
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DmIBOAGGG
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaSDjK0auf
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31auW41Org
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmit7xLMijh
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ES8vKgdYW
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKixH3YRh8
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJMd8rSMiN
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGvpUlitop
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSCS3NENwj
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtAAECaAFW
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHbgmkmY2z
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH3DYQ1tcU
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAtwTa1fgV
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ1e5FNalN
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIPike64Ef
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJIMtfuqIJ
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfxyCyM5I9
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MI7s4adGa
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK67VIUWsq
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyeIWHeEoO
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYeGsPKjKr
*•*•*•*764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ9wDThsLk
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gLXZqc5By
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGvAoykBBn
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim2yL5wOjf
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfsxxj8tgB
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXiRJmMe1D
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCamDff68i
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgXeImDMnk
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ctyhAliGG
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYehSgJzD7
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv90wrjFGW
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzom6wNFC0
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K2OaQVGiW
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqzPVbPf6X
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOURF5Z8y3
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeMTBWXFkp
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8qwZVKoZh
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzWEpaJcQa
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUL1t3Dpn8
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1tbPc7s14
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqVeaR1vVg
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFFNiuwfQN
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfKkJKAvWp
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxw99hmSYh
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLV449uJwJ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRYBrS2QDb
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjP48i2m6X
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoJBTL2pWH
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDAuIAfBbi
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41b9t31hAh
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxgfbBvbzK
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2hYGLTBVS
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNpn1sPNUd
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWdsJS3Rv0
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCMuuNtaKT
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyY4ioxeY5
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQKf6mhSUU
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u2A9A4KRh
"It won't be painful—"764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F3ydwWvAz
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfZQdYTYSL
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai7qBtXBum
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fkqqpwH30
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb2u5nadvv
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSKSfgTotl
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiEQT2geLc
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYhH2bRHjE
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EnBlhyLgb
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJlxkyiQgh
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ruGTyx249
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOD5yeyJ8D
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l9FVlQM2f
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU39yyz5NyC
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p7BxiOlQA
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ne1Bfl5ZZ
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1Bpuk3hin
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUhROi0e70
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJuApNtbuA
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncj5AJC5TG
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2jPgqzTQk
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEmDbRHSVT
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFN9LdgE7H
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBnb8cGjOh
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRRp6GXZor
This is it.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsGjkDZunU
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOz0KEvUZ0
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfXwcSvuw2
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN4SBgPGpb
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy4hHzkH08
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLgqoytp1f
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnX1uTeb0S
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqOOl6Ha23
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBeZDzFMr0
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmATiWQaHo
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70lfRpPs0A
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe546cJOPqS
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgt3MYwwYK
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElNKhIAC1H
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPfCyKmgsB
I freeze.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73plWS5IRl
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpIDcK90nJ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZLNNwcXU
Then I breathe.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIPQpPW9mQ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhylup48kpC
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LiUKz6sPX
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUkuDfFnR9
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlCmogFUYq
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9btbYb6uEK
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrbOlvpRA8
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodFxpPcutm
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5yh30ezYT
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ppLLZUcYb
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtUhKopSkh
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SS9Wmw2UY
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKSGJJewYJ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOX3d9gKyQ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj6zs92bPV
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsfjAwSoxf
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPKYgEHcso
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxUtbU1PWA
Something isn't right.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf82T8sIGKf
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0su3aYCRq
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZDsZ6qtAR
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg2SNbNI2M
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrvkwYt1IT
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYWHcHFlzA
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpDRYL0LDA
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz4Wql6AXE
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzhPa22SZj
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkW4hcGcU3
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsqc1J5Hzz
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JXHRtGkk2
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHKW0f7Nuj
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE7xXpNTK1
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9TVIpT5OV
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJhMLOd92E
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEjQuLxkyL
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnvBSj3yNO
His lips twitch. 764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhwwo4Z6rG
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUypYwepoTR
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAjVP5Dznc
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViI57i5NhD
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nCupALWfI
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPlykIYs6c
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnct6w6hr94
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKXQ6xJzVQ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGv3xZIWZd
"Okay so what do I have?"764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCYS8gZ83C
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFHWvtUTqH
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmTvBHGr77
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODYiH0GE7E
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb7sMJ6zvJ
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoMEW9qWVD
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNzm5v1EKy
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1r9ympjaI
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiQwNUdpYh
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgK1UzLve5G
764Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYykjkmR5lR
