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"You're cold on the inside
There's a dog in your heart
And it tells you to tear everything apart"
- Dog Teeth by Nicole Dollanganger.
Chapter Text
Veronica stands outside the cafeteria doors trying to stop her hands from shaking. She stays outside the cafeteria for ten minutes trying to decide if she should go in and do the right thing- or what she thinks is. As she peers inside, she sees Jacob surrounded by his usual group. Every single one of them was caught up in conversation and laughing except Jacob. He just sits there, staring absentmindedly at his lunch like he wasn't there physically, just like at the dance.
She's been trying to stop thinking about him but she's afraid it's become an obsession. Ever since the night of the dance and the hospital incident, Veronica avoids him but her brain won't stop showing her his face. He runs wild in her head and shows in her dreams like a demon. Finally, though it wasn't much, Lizzy told Veronica a bit about him but only so she could be safe. She told her what specific routes and classes he takes so she wouldn't bump into him.
He's a senior and top of our school so he has AP Calculus, Honors English, and AP Chemistry in the morning by Mrs. Simmons classroom. I know because Alice has the same classes as him for some odd reason. Try to avoid those hallways. At lunch, he's always in the cafeteria.
Next, Lizzy told her Jacob was involved into some serious shit.
He wasn't in a gang but more like an... organization, in Lizzy's words. She claimed she knew nothing about the organization, but Veronica could tell she was lying. She didn't press her further about it and just assumed for herself that it was the European mafia of sorts. Maybe he sold drugs and guns or helps wipe out other gangs or organizations. She would never know but it didn't matter. Shockingly, she found out that they went to the same elementary school together until he up and left for some reason.
"Ever since he's come back...Veronica, you've seen him," Lizzy had expressed with a disgruntled face," He looks rabid or like a ghost."
"He's basically a hellhound."
Besides that, she didn't know anything but still expected her to know more for some reason. Lizzy assumed, based on what happened at the dance, that they had been talking without her knowing. She claimed Veronica remembered him from elementary school. In actuality, Veronica can barely remember what happened to her in kindergarten and tries to forget every day. Even if she ever did meet him at one point in her life, she would have switched schools by then.
With all the information Lizzy gave her, including some of the answers from the numerous seniors she's asked, Veronica conjured that Jacob was untouchable and reclusive. It was as if he made sure there was little evidence of his existence everywhere he went. No one knew where he disappeared to in elementary, who his parents were, where he lives, etc. It seemed like he wanted to make sure he was never born.
Veronica tried to get more information out of her best friend but with a shake of the head, Lizzy swore she would never tell Veronica about Jacob again.
There's too much demonic shit about Jacob you don't need to know. You don't need to know for your own good. Alice wants me to tell you but...I can't it's too gruesome...-"
"Then why doesn't he go to juvie or something? Or military school-"
"Because he's from a completely different world, Veronica. One that upholds his White privilege though he's crazy. They basically fund it and use it on other people. He's a monster and you need to stay away from him."
Until now, Veronica had tried to stay away.
She pushes the cafeteria doors open and, immediately, the room goes quiet with hush whispers. Jacob's group, in the back of the Cafeteria, is still laughing when she gets closer to their table. After a few more steps, Jacob's gaze quickly looks up and meets hers. It's like he knows she's coming and he locks her eyes in place, trapping her again with his hypnotic glare. Her heart goes off like alarms. It seems every time she's around him the room gets hotter.
It has been two weeks since the dance and she's kept the bracelet he gave her. She reaches into her pocket and pulls it out, the size big enough for a child's wrist, and squeezes it. It looks familiar, but every time she tries to search her memories nothing was clicking. The bracelet was beaded and pink like a young girl made it. It had white letters that spelled "Be Mine" on it and what hanged was a tiny rose crystal shaped as a shard. That was what almost stabbed her in the palm at the hospital.
Did he give it to her as a confession? Why was it so small? Most importantly, why did it feel like she should know? The confusion made her obsessive, but she couldn't bring herself to throw it away. Veronica didn't know if it was because she didn't have it in her to throw it away or because the item was so aesthetically pleasing. She had stared at it day and night trying to define its meaning but it made her feel safe. She would hold it whenever she was nervous. However, confusion had also been eating her inside and she needed answers.
When Jacob looks up, his group does as well in sync and watches her. They stare at her like she just walked into their den, preparing to see if she was a threat or food. Everyone at the table was White. All were bulky and either had blue eyes and blonde hair or brown hair and green eyes. All had eyes like snakes and tigers it makes her feel surrounded. None of them make a sound or move and their silence makes Veronica's anxiety worse. She spots Alice at the end of the table, and it's only his eyes that don't resemble a predator.
She starts to question her motive the millionth time that day. Veronica gulps and opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
Oh no.
She could feel her nervous hiccups coming in and her heartbeat accelerates to the point that it's becomes harder to breathe. For several moments, she can't make herself say the things she wants to say. She can't remember what she came to Jacob's table for.
"I...I... Um-"
She clutches the bracelet.
"I-I-I-I-I-," The boy on the left of Jacob mockingly stammers as the others laugh," Hurry up and say it! We're trying to eat."
Veronica hiccups softly and looks at the boy then back to Jacob who doesn't react. His eyes are trained on something near her side and seeming to find it more important.
"You're the mute chick from my Spanish class. What do you want?"
"If you're here for Jacob, he's busy. You're becoming a nuisance to him with all these rumors spreading around."
Veronica doesn't say anything but her legs shake uncontrollably.
"His parents don't appreciate that he's being associated with people like you. What was your name again? Vagina?"
She can't believe it. She can't believe she's getting racially targeted at in front of everyone and no one was helping her. Why the fuck did she do this again?
She tightens her fist. "V-Veronica...I-it's Veronica-"
"Well, Veronica, do us all a favor and never come near us again. His parents already let it be known that if this continues, there will be consequences. "
Veronica feels her body shut down as she moves her gaze to the floor. Failure. She can feel her chest tightening and she tries to inhale to get some air. A couple of tears escape her eyes before she looks at Jacob again. Her hiccups grow louder because he's not looking at her still. His hollow gaze pierces through the asshole's skull. For some reason, she's scared of what he thinks of her. She afraid he agrees with everything that asshole was saying. Maybe the bracelet didn't mean anything.
Everything was so quiet but then another boy at Jacob's table started to nervously laugh, which turned into a laugh out of conformity where everyone was laughing to alleviate the seriousness of the situation. As if not to be singled out like Veronica, everyone laughed at her, and she heard everyone's judgment coming from at the same time.
"Just warning you."
"Shut the fuck up, Anthony."
"Fuck you, Alice. Why don't you-"
Suddenly, Jacob bursts from his seat and grabs Anthony's head, bringing it down to smash against the cafeteria table. Veronica watches with teary and terrified eyes. All she can hear is the noise of Anthony's skull cracking, and the blood from it covering Jacob's hands. The more Jacob throws his head against the table, the more his hands and clothes collect the blood. Yet, no one says a word or tries to stop him.
I'm in hell. Why is this happening? Why is she allowing this to happen the second time? The sound of Jacob's violence continues to echo through the cafeteria. Anthony's screams for help have stopped but Jacob keeps going.
I have to stop it. How do I get him to stop? I know he can but how? How?
"Stop..." The boy's face was unrecognizable now. Was he really going to kill him?
"Stop."
Jacob's face- Oh God, his face was so different. The mask was finally off and she saw all his fierceness, his rabid, and darkness. Veronica didn't know how, but she knew he would kill in front of these people. He needed to stop.
"Stop!" She screeches. Veronica lets out a choked cry before he drops Anthony's head and it hits the table before his body hits the floor, laying immobile near Jacob's feet.
This was too surreal. This is the part of him she can't understand . All the terror he puts inside her is more than pleasant, it's addicting. She can't turn her eyes away from him. She freezes in place and watches Jacob stand over the body of Anthony, his 'friend'. Then, he bends down and wipes his hands on Anthony's shirt despite they're still stained. Slowly, he gets back up and turns his attention to Veronica.
His face strikes her like a dagger, amber eyes cruel yet bright. Slowly, a small smile creeps on his face and it makes her go weak in the knees. It's menacing and yet...
She takes one look at Anthony before running out of the cafeteria. She runs as fast as she can from there. Veronica finally understands what was behind his mask they called a face. The real him would come out when it decided to destroy the things around him. His face resembled a dog before it went in for the kill, a snake before it bit into the flesh of it's enemy. And it didn't matter who it was. Jacob was a walking bonfire that wanted to burn the world. And it felt like no one knew but her for a reason.
Yet, she held onto the bracelet because she knew, deep inside her, his burns were heavenly. Veronica wanted to be engulfed and devoured by him that she dreamt about it. And it scares her to awake with longing that she felt insane. Everything he does to her, in front of her, captivates her and gives her despair because she's scared for her life.
Hearing footsteps trailing behind her, Veronica's adrenaline and panic pushes her to run faster. Suddenly, someone grabs Veronica's shoulder causing her to scream frantically as she tries to free herself from the person's grip.
"Let go! Stop!"
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