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INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ68PXoRuA
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZEgVSLZEi
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E1KxAe9U3
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pjoTaNXEC
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIjgRtRH7V
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAZQKaZKBC
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYosTniNfFA
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlViWf82tty
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsWc1qWHEr
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FFsh9s7aH
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25qfGsgNL2
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul8EeGZVCn
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNujvbhvtL1
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfX3Zmsd6TE
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlG3BKQq6J
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIUC13HobE
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1dE62O5d7
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzGQRkVoxR
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQbtk605Gl
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxTSbjq5F1
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BrKHkfNzU
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9zH1UY9Nm
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbxdJwmdyc
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJujChzol1j
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6s57CmK7h
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINWvj9fnvC
You've met?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVlHq0rB0S
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUpS92kOg1
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGusPAqFc6
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESv6IJxnWI
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRfERoztZq
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9get8A26X
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilbLJ33m7p
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpctDstRaAi
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvD1DnfL2L
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB8RjatmfQ
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3xeWVSAi9
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcJ0YKHq1j
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFJ9fR5ge8
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgryv8yUSaB
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcogsajstRp
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo5quTmoOY
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAjRILwUSx
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9K48XJZYy
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFhd7KrMYO
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCbktGChGd
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe0e44rtCx
I know that already!
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeo89ifbb9v
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkIQ3grZRo
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24NtyS7JB7
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk5ahQvXIQ
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhH2A7jfLz
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQaN9QQvXN
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxzGe0B4oq
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqsjjg5e8Z
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3o2C1cPCH
No you're not!
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SHARON152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkKv6HeGU9
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaANtMFgpT
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtSHpCORj0
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4KEp1PVSy
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo3p2dFAlr
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jjigmTBDk
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U00cyFx4C
What?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwYLilk99h
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJOagjM1OL
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2ZCLT81It
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHDpkBI7kE
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp2NlKuwC7
Long enough.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi0BKQyswH
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjsZjgUhOz
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPE2Qorlxd
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7fhxrecwt
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4nL9xLn5i
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXcEDVtvES
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRwmXPwvQo
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD4a2rNAxi
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkohUyGmpWk
Well, if you insist.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIRrdogdNa
GREGORY takes the ring.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhGt1rwWgl
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXppo1V0bR
Thank you.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdUn39eXcJ
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6PbkHGLLA
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmpoBL48vc
Does this mean you want me back?
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzxANXErp1
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YsXDpCoaY
HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4seM19Qrsx
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsjj0gf6k3
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42TtnrCNM8
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVs5sJw2Vg
Well you can't have me.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP9HgKBiVB
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZCu3Ke6np
HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqn9PjjUmI
WHAT?
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisYDaPaJKs
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBmPN0tmO4
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvTiPJ29go
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPduAN6V0Ha
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArB9UdqdyL
HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tlRPNl9mL
But...
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8optAKinjD
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUyyLeJW46
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwXchrlBOl
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl3ABoH9TP
CHANTAL grins.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3ovmtWpsx
HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSu3wkDq2l
But...
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlyScoN5by
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9algK7sVh
CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDiZiELnL6
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssFgpdCG6U
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBg9MkwKfb
HARRY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr7kiqrfjK
Gregory?
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiUVjYGywN
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ787Ye7ds52
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV38IGEpYF
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHPw450NfV
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOGQRlhI3w
CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMd4mYD6dS
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV67BVppRzp
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjactH6vpU
GREGORY152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPklWy5qWjY
Of course you are!
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYS2ZOyk3E
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9AiVzD4I0
CHANTAL152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgTuyDe6CA
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbFJIeMPk0
152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uyTCymhpr
THE END
ns 15.158.61.17da2
