09.218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDesXN5kQB
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieykxCaGG7
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObDcL8R1Dq
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgzJ85Zm7w
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCQykcVRvF
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzkCGnbe6J
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBhn5keYvg
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNMUy3JSXI
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYne30cqf3
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdNaDw5V5x
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUnmGKARPI
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvAkvEMIPG
「怎麼了？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4JeKeck5e
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6vUd1zPZn
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhz3WDkFCa
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElkvmNz1Dd
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2EgezSBud
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzKaZ2tNhu
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECj0YjthiY
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUuvyKpNOa
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiYFBFjvdu
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVw7zVCorH
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGvnh5w67R
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ba1ROBEGh
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasLOdxrXYV
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCuoHkIIXp
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCLUGeA2zN
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKljFtwg7h
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasBXiZSY8b
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnERubjXSIQ
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPytQEJ3Rs
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mbFK0kIrp
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6naCfTzjOR
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX9uLilcU1
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafwkC0hj99
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGEhYmHCzd
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cvxzppefJ
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1402cdrf2
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nedQMeH0G
「也要。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDIfjRVDmM
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKMGGqBDGW
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqNkEC9i0v
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRMhpnHBED
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0ogcmglxB
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagUdSNWEKO
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDsDfI9ecc
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNuFw2f9n8
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RKO7VPNKB
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdU0yZluUV
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMvElI5j0Y
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HZcrqe0KX
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTjD4yTn3E
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahIeszF2IR
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHl744GFAv
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjS5AsEcm7Z
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTRM1ukU90
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iTBja8ojs
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbVlO7m1AP
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyU03s9dSw
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimamiza1Sk
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ5xpryloO
「愛的本質？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpIL3RjwRJ
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXSapeF3vS
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1lrEWpiWC
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFPmeY65y7
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFZnOD7ocI
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb3AYsA6Pk
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqyAesiKwC
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZfbEedmnh
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxdynWmy1A
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLJxfQwSJn
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrSoInLM0l
「新年快樂。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uN8tisNsj
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWve6ppAEU
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wLQCnmK7L
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O9xsN2gU6
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvoMcnA6bQ
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIy24LNo7P
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZlV5qyWLp
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMf44ZTFl7
「新年快樂，傑。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEaJLVX8JC
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjc0Sdczq6
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrMN9tinEF
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXaPNnGNJv
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMUJvAtkAl
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPUDl5AVZ3
10.218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiusVCEm4CH
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQmnnFqEyE
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpPaonKRmN
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJIpwo8NaW
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgMOPzXy1Y
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWCUxthSMh
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjmaPGRgJ8
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4yMwIOmrO
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOawIyx6CY
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGUeWj5K6M
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshWvHbldSi
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VncvenHZu
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeasPhk3jN
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ9UrZgT6Z
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOULXt3chSX
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MgNHAw1Bk
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozuPyBfbFi
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24J4UyzKxz
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGz9xy5Y2e
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBsT7lJzyZ
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMi03yyGAN
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mrz5I3dJb
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BtxbQ94Ym
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVpGJLfK9X
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl17BnrRl0
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHU7l7kubd
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbe64Jl4j5
他對我說：不進來嗎？218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3kbMqgykE
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSJA6JyUNn
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7WLaEQeys
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qzNRcgeFY
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOwDOZH0mn
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrHJh5SnNy
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlAl5SWxY5
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oAYy7o03u
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLawQiQqa0Q
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswh2x1WVAB
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzINltDLSU6
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YeOmiEQIy
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2KpfRQjxj
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4CCERh6q0
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylXjzsZHOx
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X7KP1p82B
我好像從未了解過他。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZt8evJ5IC
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNHafO0kke
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthMJRIy9qz
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvJLHB4eSd
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO91LVTQUUU
「是你嗎？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5FdlX5kIc
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QEL4dZNPF
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMt1g3w5Zo
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc6WexBBKU
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYncrBOsY4
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHxaMFGbrX
夏油傑笑了一下。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVQcS1tbJZ
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eXpXJj3OY
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodqz2O4YuT
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5PGrIVYVV
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSTi6jreFT
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTg6bqroH5
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzKGnxbIVS
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKwBKqLoJI
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAH5j9iaTXA
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvMW6PTNvA
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWDlMp3Ha6
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGkiGgOANW
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ylS4btQuQ
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1g1zpzz8M
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiKsY0qxrX
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9qpUGgBz6
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswWt8bcMUT
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRSp2eTdPY
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo91Elfmymd
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRparXxxcKc
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd1MWDtg8k
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATOiPaeEDS
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MCcTxNB7t
就這樣吧。218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtODrAjA5H
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218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo3MJpnDlm
218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKIsPoscVG
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單218Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnII2dAynb
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