09.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv3WyfrLPT
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIj59aZy9B
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLMNDdjLHV
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB12kz7F6J
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBXN15WIKZ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLMF8Lfh0L
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFB8pPb9Ax
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbOLc03pUT
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgXpkr9h6l
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZqsLSWKwD
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAMErVRIne
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgJgFWxwU2
「怎麼了？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7o8QzO4lQ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeH4ENVahm
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1XnVKHIpN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEMhqbTzQW
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt5HyHkGOQ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB62GLtLsy
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGjks2qFnC
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8weZNkUNZK
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1dlW0sb0Q
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFO4pJaLfPi
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9V3XaOJ2A
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNnkZGX56S
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0zyBdrcid
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCTlClN82r
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB3rWi36PF
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fE2UDfASi
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLE0JSODuF
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DFK8ExbQw
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw97PNfnfgI
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfkmpTvIDH
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaLvOi0dgJ
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TXUUf0djI
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynRytQFDSf
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3KCiMAkZ7
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6Zr5nxR9Y
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSf7KtNbOh
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OtKwZSu32
「也要。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhLfBrewTh
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1Xuhtq0Rf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAI4fGIPmI
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscjRQb80G9
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiV5SL67Zh
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1QsuvB477
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuZFrUcmW1
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpbynm5bux
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgq94eLNb9
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnK4uPTajy
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTKObK8iBV
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqORwJVkDmH
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4ZdNu8pWm
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3UaDzQ2A1
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvnxMM0oPS
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN4RsUCeYS
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIXpJrQ9oH
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92jnqlPqS3
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtZOZ26Ghb
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ6hDUJ7Cy
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJl0U4XBaj
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOfojEoWTV
「愛的本質？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD12Jc8PQQo
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUHzUKGhVA
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPphYrFJ634
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDLH9SPhyU
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5Xg1l09x6
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX1TS24gPr
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77VXo4CIKa
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLtCIY9sB8
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4OfTWyfDZ
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2GVHcT5ZK
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUU9uVS9PZ
「新年快樂。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazOmPZ1fM9
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNjgL5vEau
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wQMJf3xc7
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDBDPPfwEW
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7mLuXgifu
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcwnNlMU03
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPBwjIFS4A
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyer7S4nZx
「新年快樂，傑。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiMVJn5wiE
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLUTEi4gs9
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKBq2k1wPv
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5LgX0TCXN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEJU4HatoB
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL9yjSP1Jb
10.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhfVxYgxNL
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vgNPDqTuq
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr0cxLm3qf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ArjbaBRVL
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNme9yUGzqm
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmopmenfnx
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3RE4YSduZ
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ki0sMIOIa
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ8GRgaJqD
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxBlQGDCI6
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeIYeWkU4j
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz8AeJ4V5f
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkcSrgVq73
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAheEbV82tG
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3vDgmHchd
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUfOEBi984
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPxCqrgJr5
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nZf2W3Cpf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwggd6EnWDH
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvLsjQ80Mh
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDvei4SyZY
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH6ClfIOtZ
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvUacob6UX
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNhyQUBZY2
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3DPKAmuZQ
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2d3HdQRjN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy3IPDd82X
他對我說：不進來嗎？170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WIRCN51fc
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Eg8W27WsE
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKw9azej13
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHV0sOEvLu
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXOMODdj2f
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrDIigMCYs
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPh4ejzuODn
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RCQXH9lyr
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCVAJL4wSu
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbV4QwblSTw
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTQgyeuEUc
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHfmWEOtJL
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJfZdQh1ro
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBqlQIpUmP
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmf9N13Eew
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIMOKr8mqU
我好像從未了解過他。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzFOY3mVrf
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORRn96QtIl
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQDL0AHiVO
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnmUb97gu7
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaE0eTgUv5O
「是你嗎？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3MWzGKGpc
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKNVX5jBKq
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNufMcWKIx6
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYor68B3Kj
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWD17FuGcwd
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuBYBQx6jb
夏油傑笑了一下。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vVERmXKXg
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFZtYfBsmk
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUvaoQoCbB
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiIswuucBl
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCdzcZW8pi
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8ZHOItfZD
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLJPKDAn2d
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuYhaEQm51
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYE1WzZsvP
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiazS2nmUJ
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmMOXeBALY
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzYM4Rzh9o
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBpZu0Se4r
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftXR7iZZDy
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJP2K74KHz
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEIiYqu01h
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2f7FRFR8L
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVGIGtpORG
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjNiVZlqrw
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KvjnXetux
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL51jQv2TKs
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOVuKE4BdN
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoKc59bWVd
就這樣吧。170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAdXi8WQGE
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgKBPTC3M7
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGLm4dJ79z
170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwrLsvuB6w
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