09.187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwle3gKZMH
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk0qnEqtoM
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPNltn3jHH
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvenfh8A0JQ
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDeqlHKucV
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJG3m2Dj9i
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaESYOmwBlM
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeA8pe7qhVx
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboYsxpCgaL
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZhGhqlSAz
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1xAo6aa9N
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvhpi1UDol
「怎麼了？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC0Yy92Im0
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjvmJAaqIm
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDAARo1jRX
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MCxtElzKD
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIko3i7c4z
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8d14OlkY7
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOggsOELCO
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgku4U8YNZ2
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx2DwZCmA4
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNKkfFTdyc
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkmhjPT9PN
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9YP5MjZAk
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYFOXD4bGC
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZBJCFgC7f
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnmmoIqnMY
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgAAsDiyId
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfR85Tekco
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIftlGIUYrs
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0CuJVTOQs
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI3cSL3PTM
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtT5E0kTJhf
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJV8aJ5YtY
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrfoOWCGi5
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qj3RynYN8
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwiQgkXRlv
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgi7K7uieKs
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yCdGkfvaI
「也要。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7arTfAXIbT
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuC0XBbBNt4
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt007Hki8Y4
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDboKsgYWk
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7fvyIogAA
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOFoSrniKq
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyFtLIjlD1
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCu3YdPNWT1
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzmPmwhxQ2
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDWBUjbMmH
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6g7QW6lFA
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODSSTjtBU1
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxujKcFOaG
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOaR6Fm4g9
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiBALpQpYl
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwUlxDdOpf
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSSV9G6rED
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSYlNhdlt8
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHgGMhXwGN
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThCk65Lzwl
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7XBdUNEAa
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXpeOvlpyL
「愛的本質？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTJglshRz3
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqySAgQ5uq2
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyG6Lb8FBP
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqVRwBW590
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmvIyC3Mca
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0ostJoLj3
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTNcABb03G
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYMqZ4S4H2
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTL65HaIfO
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3tEjA0x0s
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWlVmykWf4
「新年快樂。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0SBPHxsNa
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ve8nKGKze
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTb8E3hgcU
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCeXP3Dpgr
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaKSmtSyPL
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNskNECZEHv
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUcqVNIKQR
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡns06xh7n7T
「新年快樂，傑。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlNY05Mbaq
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdC79Lc93a
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EbFoLmHAC
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvDFTvAelf
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthDWFIP1o6
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGceaeGAyL
10.187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h1FvDmzFv
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJf0dNxTxe
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXKDuTeRof
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqeWIGSMhj
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoMFsGIOND
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6d9NWC6IS
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk8ZyK9Bz1
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNeAPZut40
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7AGZWiXLV
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQmU44FflK
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1EYa8v93X
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpsBNS8VtC
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnb5IZeQud
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD0Jqr5Rlm
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFWELWv6T7
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LaP65vZKZ
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TBSXB0noE
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQxM5ddtpE
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZC6VvJxlX
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wAP77z9z7
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg2AFEYUt2
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWQoTYcMe0
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRWy2CCN5a
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVguhqHT2u
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEaqQiaahK
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlvr95CFdn
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKneZI3uoe
他對我說：不進來嗎？187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCR0aKaFsK
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1MbOfZxpj
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsKRBxmbrx
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5ERt8JPMG
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUequNodXq
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oli5Ob0YA
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCZbLc4Czw
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqvPK7id9r
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWv9l16F8o
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0yAexOWQ5
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpHvfbZHKW
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzanneUSRx5
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7kHOGtuRL
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC22Y6p4BQ
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFgiRd8pu9
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYZXP7qUGe
我好像從未了解過他。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9yQyzVLv0
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlDBdTwAXH
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsv57pBY3M
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FmyOarqau
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9h7hP3wJH
「是你嗎？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1Hp03lbep
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqjJkcRdG8
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhuhOZObjV
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMElLNGxNcM
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLxwXAlrC7
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXwKvF8YHD
夏油傑笑了一下。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FNapIgHPr
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPU5biI0Rs
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzunLChrdv9
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBQEw3DaM3
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22YXZA03Ts
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDCS52gqIM
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vtelXqIqv
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygKN3vgln8
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9GOP08OC5
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBsZzJXrpQ
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEhwLYgBdu
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAG8ToRwKE
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2nRlJJMV9
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdK19JcILt
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj4jId8Hue
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJCfmkz3Th
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ1bmF4uTA
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai1LV6sk3m
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDPkJ2Kh9s
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XI4nDMIoX
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tmCOKjJnw
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4agV2Y5trz
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G8TzsTo6b
就這樣吧。187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoUhsmbRq0
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h796B3i5e
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XvNPaVBo4
187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFQmljdblP
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