09.155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsvDvtL2Xm
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32kLrHz3NT
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwXeVLKvd3
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelONX6Q0UL
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwActXQqMoI
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17JCMHkmTI
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nHibP1hei
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa3rDHX1NH
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse8fPF4Clv
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMwkqBfmqd
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboc73ZPqHH
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI0ZgABxrB
「怎麼了？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTSty9feZq
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJBdLUYwq1
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuHTb6MUPD
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCoXMlOyIk
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb8USQp0pv
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yUiQ8XD1X
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mf7eF3SQW
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbLHnYmtsI
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuURaDakPu
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8CzfXvzMu
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI9loW2HDm
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHdiBV9ibA
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZP9nrH2PW
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVMC3QjTHy
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoAIJGV15P
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRgim7CIVg
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9z5ETM5vm
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUex2sDZS7S
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29NOlMzB5f
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGaTl5yixf
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADmeHukX2B
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHsFYflcWE
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCM5GoRZMd
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIyDbkubgQ
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CQf00clwZ
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFI7FeC2rq
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU5IKrU5F5
「也要。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkQTJQqbLo
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHk8EruxeB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcpgx1TcGU
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDXC8dKY50
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiG2I3D2Uz
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRa3uUM13T
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbP1kP2oYB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ259ot7aACF
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9J6yq7J97
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWQVSjrYzv
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd7uXl4kc1
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HNM4FvyV3
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPicCmufmx
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeos77JA9b3
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkRCc9WETF
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pzQE3ZKqd
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGvaekOVsb
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lxqsuZIZ5
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6y0EQOFrA
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuTWS2Qvp8
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lpChUZh3U
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1haVTQ2W4n
「愛的本質？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqtNjxdjnw
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTEdOkgYtZ
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXtc66QSbV
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw3n67k4Va
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJPyUSm4Bw
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnCHGRJew0
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EGWbrXxFn
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogP4I90j27
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21gs2hbRnQ
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxY8joTGJv
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBJtYiAXo5
「新年快樂。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfgobuY3E4
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkDt1LG1hG
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YZ8tvD5QY
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wVrfuZy6G
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpKl9c2PfU
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk5DxfzJFt
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhYHf4X9aB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HRtyw2DWc
「新年快樂，傑。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n2EwoqhPT
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolgOF8Xobp
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTolsOPzAe
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMOaTiISPH
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsbqlFW13V
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvTTsPqvbp
10.155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wYL7hVNAA
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3YTn42mXR
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KzoUnfg1F
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTQwWAFMdz
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvsE4ZAdHd
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC27jHdL2M
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5g8XbFOl9
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeITI9mmNh
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSgvnJjfPR
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwaMoeAtv0
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8XkXJD1Lw
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXTYrEBWPI
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUdvvLTJ0O
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHr3gVksuC
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatIb6pwuhr
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUSfqyEiAv
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq740EhVnB
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn5hfeobcD
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSp39VaZy2
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQhIDoLjeW
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7UzSDrdUV
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnS1jOe7rh
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i2aQaRAKv
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5N6oA8Wx8n
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFtA2ISmjh
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBMpHAzl7a
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGTV91mMD3
他對我說：不進來嗎？155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6oOGsZRb0
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNUbVaYp4v
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23eUoXxpqD
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlN0giNdtg
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjRSABXDfy
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXrZuKg5st
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGYuXXeDkC
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y4H7wAFLE
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwOPtERRR1
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TN3m99e5l
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVk7VmFF2I
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRTw4Wm5lB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHETy7hRuwN
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoEgt8mCyj
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlwRz7aoFH
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHyIpxw3LO
我好像從未了解過他。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbdfbSvDo9
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhgia3iK4h
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTYVeYi0y9
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaozNzH5lS
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDWAIC6Ve0
「是你嗎？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJW3db8nU0w
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C0UfTxoR1
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4PTpXQmCJ
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybdSKk0adT
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND61j5eW1P
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrz6lcHxnXh
夏油傑笑了一下。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepyMbfMq67
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD22k9tykcf
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iqDAidFht
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeICEaerzJp
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKktNn5nUV
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5vzIyhUv9
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ2kmlwMO5
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCVl1dOk2y
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa6BSeJljz
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh7YNVBjKx
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuFm0x964y
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKZVMFeg3u
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmyPu0kzaf
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UTuIK94DK
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy3kJYtXXB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnvyHlEBkK
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzXUX0inxc
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaue64Il656
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXxjTD27aZ
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3kenDde7Z
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqyyZT1zli
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbC3QPKlyY
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58rWM5f9pW
就這樣吧。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wvFdW4Hhp
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeepQjDtl2R
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveCiWuwzNs
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3br5cV0LtL
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