09.140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMOscAMG3r
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j0DN8DEeq
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwzcsX2XEX
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qGVftHxox
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3gxbL1iGn
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI10gxkVp7
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOoJcIUi1c
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPUGwmMw0u
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQEPLcnCd5
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF1TaSMF5c
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNvLxQa6vU
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DTgLKcVeM
「怎麼了？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev1S2t7W6W
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF38V7yGWG
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsjLlAi5Nh
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwpVfHxsss
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhFZzJYllh
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s1xF9koqH
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutZyA8PtiR
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrbITbxYzB
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mZ3PTVf4C
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftwZ1DiAWe
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFpAdG4yHf
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1iospV0sM
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBkt2vASvQ
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tV350vg9i
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1S9tZRCgv
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo60Xiib4F
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXX97J04O5
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyezWltpVg
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BMUYKuJcO
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThrMVTPt1R
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1mtP44zjp
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ugf081p6U
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMvCGj3Ed0
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiz44BGnQa
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1ZHxYPdT5
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJp5O9fUxn
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk72dvU89AQ
「也要。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCVOrlDbx5
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrRXLqoTZK
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzDoHLmdhO
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0idedvf4C
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYGf0vK7rK
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVAocaAzx8
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeSaij8HHz
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKfyrdygH1
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SfNlG2snh
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPSebof2P7
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiTkCm885c
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQlH7fUV3B
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mz5aDhMsJ
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWHWIntGvX
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16e198EvJu
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lSOhXiMol
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VUMBx1Cpm
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanJYDh9zcx
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IeDaAJdST
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2SnY4l2vE
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfNL978pdD
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNys7odDBSW
「愛的本質？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yrNesyi5F
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRXK9gh1EG
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYApEqb5BqK
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Al0zjXugB
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmSxV07r7G
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV01lYxQ45z
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyflZzFdsG
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZht3fIA4u
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeGILsVfxN
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8dIwG4YrF
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pPgzfNvqh
「新年快樂。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGhwqU7YQ4
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuEFQUIKfb
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCxVdtX0Zs
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6ZcX84XZW
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbny7CmvYE
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJDQdifrFy
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunseCfr7J0
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4aMUulc1Y
「新年快樂，傑。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFTC6emWRl
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wMBXl8zBt
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwJJoOOaN7
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAZz7PyVn1
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmC16c0fpa2
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNouAidugf
10.140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d5AZ0C50x
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnacCdjCCQ
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBgLd8D86e
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC20PfQsxp
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkZIixaGJl
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYcEgREznq
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPVdr9mMDL
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIZGQADTv4
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5zIrY24Kl
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbUS9FoOP0
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan860Ii8F5
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKphGyAVby
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWbGfmDS8l
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FM61t2paM
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7y67RS4Qw
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOT9l8xrEn
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7H5sz6J0F
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyoJkZdNNY
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiyScXjU7G
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBUiUHDcO2
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU9sPHDZT3
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo5yMgtNs0
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Xg2BhWIQb
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qgdYVS57s
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEmLvMRXLr
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtW9wK3300N
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct6n1gsEbz
他對我說：不進來嗎？140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9GqLhhZFx
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp8hXXA67H
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshd8FpL0IW
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGYxSNkTpB
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQb3t7KJGj
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVJZWV5LTr
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJVkmHvyQQ
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjNzcA576S
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDvym4Zf51
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqMtgfJlEA
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4YpccrjLh
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmNFFjN1n0
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HOmU1WScK
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqJvWdTrCF
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB2ZorPIpp
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbabey3EXw
我好像從未了解過他。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMP8ODMDgQ
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapbEmo8DKQ
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1pcGGs5Mo
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5OtobGqzn
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR4rPCrEp7
「是你嗎？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKHCx6wu7r
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDPSPmnqpF
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8X7hXnELxm
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvIYerlw7g
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xRwEmdjw2
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aIapJU5yr
夏油傑笑了一下。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sh0x9CkcM
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDanyxH3Bzc
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRSGwERqd9
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslGlJloK31
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvT9FVoju8
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLTLetUkkM
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtZ1DvuW76
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAe8dM1n1J
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVYlES0hk3
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbsoLR7cEz
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAhyHRkORs
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡku7yqLsxxb
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzjyT5RKKY
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUzDUw1OKC
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5HwAXNNlT
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89qKsJqYlQ
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo4vmxaYkC
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNJEi3UxWG
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpainGnxsa
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L2ikWgCuE
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9Cs9WkVux
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhZ1tCg2He
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就這樣吧。140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrZ0Q29rXP
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uIvutiKYH
140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi2b2PbzYU
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231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIuA8o5R21
240815 10 二修140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFCFY2O7Vj
