09.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVmkpj4RJn
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EtmpyQ9tj
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tb2UDXsbe
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKr9AgJ9Nmj
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoVjMdtgU2
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaWuPpFxGa
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyjjLIbNLK
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwEDGJjzdA
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI9ommHC75
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedODeeogoA
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshQlJRNmZv
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIerbCNIm3C
「怎麼了？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7CXPeGBCJ
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUwVzzFabW
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgzg8Y8GpK
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSI41B83R6
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoWcduN0yJ
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ3Z3b0vuW
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPljGtfAQzP
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODs3hdpMZK
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFKCXkEacO
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmqj2cyrcG
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NNUBYAIy6
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYMuy0kyBa
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SE23pjKiV
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6NoLRnvdC
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbjLIn2qaX
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwMRHKs5dX
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhG25D7whq
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoCV4MnBbj
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6GHy2MJIz
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0tWPga5o4
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUg0zpnjEl
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHwjCHgQLO
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h7FZRpItD
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM91uivBDXh
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQqCpjxvW8
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6juhzDtl6
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMnPl2VtNO
「也要。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYWyxA4il9
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELRBI2x7ui
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNwYGuBtAx
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9DOz1ijKJ
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODIsKUKbHe
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVVWh3kbx8
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoz1lsEoUj
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfh8UejJhr
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4xQbF0dDx
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCaklcV0ca
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDzGYjkkrs
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq23iF1VBQv
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNejrlKnRg
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu46O0SfMc
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKXJgXNXG9
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkceVGLsHK5
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM03Vvb16n
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaHQiTbSLY
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDrAT2obiH
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjdpWVHhyy
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqO79GdKkr
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA75KTKfq7
「愛的本質？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkZcPOJEct
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YKB6ETteD
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupwlojzZoJ
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj26eepeemA
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbFOvHRmYN
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9Abh98muY
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPoQj471wX
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKrlEw0D79
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3PPMdPTLI
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJrntcjwJr
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6kdljDbzk
「新年快樂。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6y2Cswdnl
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpENaB2M9Zq
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3Tc1f2kzE
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YR1lcUVsg
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv1s8ICBUa
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzHSwLRbjG
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cWjfxnZfi
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBnetlXUzZ
「新年快樂，傑。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjvGxE6TYq
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hwSBTQzSm
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2wc8beZlo
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPJMGBHyV8
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPuUSBt9eb
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSIQxuFz9k
10.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfA95WMGGx
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPB4gw3nos
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBMu8fxO0p
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3bYOCsWND
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDcTlKi9Wl
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb8fVZcMDg
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgDudhERtT
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIbNIFIRzv
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Jzx1Z3dN
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwViD14pyUK
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0p7tCMfUw
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ErFPT7FrX
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGxWgzfVD2
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfNpHNECin
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO4j9URv9d
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sWlgRKXR4
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hhcheFDrQ
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0ZWwbjYv0
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyJFifNImb
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BA1e7GpuQ
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWUFOHqXfW
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHosKmCi3c
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQfbFFLEbk
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7cKUCBPf8
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGilXoKsWQk
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzSdrxTely
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK78bHYIBv
他對我說：不進來嗎？223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiEF5PqLes
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbuxVjyolp
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjUR1Sx6OV
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHqH2c1g7a
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcyFIQfWuy
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY83AeMkEwx
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATKhjtWIUa
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobNTtEBscz
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9ubhKiDxC
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQz9iKJAw70
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcmY81AIn9
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC7dQ5Jndw
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdIrqWsSvf
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjkb9pTfKJ
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTbJgrbQGR
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv30PlhrHlp
我好像從未了解過他。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtcbLgBUfF
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9T4UHOx5J
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHo3xCg8DEl
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRMils0N9o
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXvSmKtbWz
「是你嗎？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfIYlcQ6mh
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTAWiDgNac
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGr3Fdykyd
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvau57m3fm
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1EzXwXSjv
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MhCffUFpG
夏油傑笑了一下。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMk82mFEiV
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH3WXOC4ME
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMd3OzvbtDf
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4rLXPOpeA
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSmWx60hhE
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7t10pUZ4K
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63vC7zm9FB
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOJwuIUvzf
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDVA5wthZ3
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0j7St7OhE
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhanJnqifx
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAApn9X2hf4
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoPbrfLWfu
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDhBKnAvDY
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gEK3gYKCi
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxi4ELtLYF
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ598McQxZDd
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAc9I5JsfY
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKamX5WRwX8
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAucgiGEx7u
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82ves9iDBM
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffiFQpn34r
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidl3bWCn5U
就這樣吧。223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmP7GKzsSG
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS2v4OsF2w
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXdUumpitD
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjp13JlzkhW
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