09.169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV6fvWDmGz
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVt5EOzP9I
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxSPLxF7pR
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4oMpdQgKh
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrhR35vL2c
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjBK0Kt4k6
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASpYua8Jj2
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qPzdLL1JU
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfylZ0YPW2
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6nlP7GLBQ
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdvCjufkZd
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5P0I1Vpy0
「怎麼了？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02bxKmreO6
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8ccGRxxe0
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYAb25d5mG
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuBFvqmPfQ
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmKUswbygy
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkVjhPQ9o6
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MQvzCyjC5
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93sPiXlZj8
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQ0ZBFJkKg
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvARLLhOZ61
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qwLnBZkyZ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh3RRGFX6L
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qXtu7L29F
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQw4UIm3Yi
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K3DGCxa69
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDagX5pU6nS
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjnIke2Esu
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjL7cQCKfy
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavUZhyUZ4J
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ9rWnlyAF
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDURtkDEbf
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9jMbKadog
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky4trP9bSz
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ5hl9J32E
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlB2NYHi69
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O3xclpbRh
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoBBuIY5TC
「也要。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO0hoyidG4
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHji8KNaBd
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtJgovmy5F
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZ7lJh6CJM
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5NtwjCt13
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6xDy5530b
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVCiYkbjZh
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbK6mA2FE5q
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20VD9GxqRS
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjRAulVueR
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNUX2Hd6Av
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9tmgWhFO7
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQJCm9LWdX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljqC7KiRWY
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtIYwFoLU2
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sQBTYuKd7
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6ftm6hvHb
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIAa0U6QFK
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4QNRZ6CST
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9TyAyUUvD
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmx5trzIAd
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiQWKrFsha
「愛的本質？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnaIL6A5ak
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTO7F8Zvks
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIGTbwP8cd
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPB1gGFpjB7
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEBBtplSjo
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QjihHdKhZ
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRutntfIx4Q
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6hm6haeUX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZfLlqfLVR
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAnOdGwHLY
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jJybfZK0O
「新年快樂。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE150RFAoRe
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJD2En9ZpQZ
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPhOepg2n9
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bcgCuqzqB
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq3lgROd7m
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡex1ntTcT0q
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwIwRRrvYq
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7Kgsg2mwk
「新年快樂，傑。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECEBz8Op3q
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8qW0sEJI9
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpWoXuX5IY
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfruouz2DgA
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZw98YVfXE
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki7V3uiDQS
10.169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S5sL2Av8M
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD33HFOUae
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxkoJAoRWJ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ66oVwdmk
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEanXS9xYz1
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQYqpVVJiF
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rUQUbiYGn
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJguYNY7Kq
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhmeKMozHX
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VPxki4twt
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZvxrPtivc
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA49zgVBxJW
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8bkItzKil
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxBDQ50v8N
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDlgH1aaoy
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSen2GnCJKW
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3YGiyvwyw
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k230xsSwp
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC9fmzWkwM
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPbQMpmjqL
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFckQoIVPF6
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmeJBNLQgV
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oXaVYK3IU
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnpa7bBTHb
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJbOeZHPMW
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9sIfLtJDv
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJBZ8F4O7z
他對我說：不進來嗎？169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9N2vHuOHx
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRbiBZFAKc
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfaYA68jQK
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94E7Hr9P1n
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGMvKHCuvN
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtnVS9nVi9
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibT1P2fYHI
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZX9mxpmgT
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduJToBrXE0
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NiUG7xV5l
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA3Srz62qP
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGtrIx1TEn
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FzcFCdZBD
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57YlU8IOK7
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOqAy3X5Uk
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAycbhxI4x
我好像從未了解過他。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOy36wkU8B
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5Z5gak1S8
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NKLoDssHH
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtny8Xp46PM
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywJbMDjvl8
「是你嗎？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWuBZpQQNr
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbgaifH70c
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA48Vg2N9i
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN2Yl0M5EL
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjSOQ1EBtI
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1ifTVSFiG
夏油傑笑了一下。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yI4Mpu0Ft
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJJmgaEThx
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVjVlWZW6G
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPz1FFzsSU
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxI3X6yIN0
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HTr3TC5rj
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbNOokwZnv
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpB03ACkRbR
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31zWusteFR
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaAP0kXfP5
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqTQdE6Fsp
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA6fCbOS5E
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGRNRyl4rQ
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡps6DJNYnWw
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWolk0uyOw
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q5B2ULlpG
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoQPhOkhCV
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2zZ9LLEfg
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4u2eBRf5gd
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXd6jGsq4w
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWP1TpqXbV
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35GykPjI7D
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg4a3fmkCN
就這樣吧。169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1wkrSkhXF
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi1hrIXPIR
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfue4rKrgRk
169Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rfT7qehRY
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