在楊亦桐的堅持以及與醫生討論過後,夫婦倆還是選擇遵從他的意願,讓他居家治療,但必須定期回診。放學回家的童逸洋得知後是不太贊同的,但兄弟之間的默契也足夠讓他明白為什麼對方這麼選擇。16Please respect copyright.PENANAmqdVBWiGey
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楊亦桐的治療費用是一筆龐大的支出。楊守生的薪水不是不能負擔,從不奢侈的家底也夠使用,但這終究是個無底洞,不知哪天會被耗盡。16Please respect copyright.PENANAJKOzAk40fX
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在那天之後,楊守生上班時更努力了,為的是爭取再次升職加薪;童思琳為減少家中負擔,運用以前的能力找了個網上翻譯的工作。16Please respect copyright.PENANA3VPLzDKqP2
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家中年紀最小的童逸洋成長了不少,每天雷打不動地去上學,放學回家後就幫忙照顧自家哥哥,或是幫忙做家事。楊亦桐除了堅持不肯住院,後來都一直配合著治療吃藥,沒有表現出任何抗拒之意。16Please respect copyright.PENANADvQDilROJl
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患病的過程時無比漫長且痛苦的。16Please respect copyright.PENANAbIm8SKI2GG
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最初,只是嘔吐與頭痛加劇。隨著病情發展,他的視力模糊得幾乎看不清任何事物,偶爾還有間歇性的失明。本來還能勉強控制的情緒,也變得越來越難以抑制,失控的場景頻繁出現。16Please respect copyright.PENANABABSeeU2ge
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直到第五個月,間歇性的失明戛然而止。16Please respect copyright.PENANAGAt6gVtzmw
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──因為,他已徹底失去光明。16Please respect copyright.PENANAtl7idvEZnd
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永恆的黑暗讓男孩一時之間陷入極致的恐慌之中,經常歇斯底里地大哭大叫,摔壞的物品堆了房間的一角,甚至連家人靠近都會引起他激烈的反抗。16Please respect copyright.PENANAPr8SIoPefC
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隨著時間流逝,或是耗盡了力氣,或是徹底死心,他逐漸接受了這個殘酷的事實,再次展露微笑。可那笑容,卻讓童逸洋覺得滲人。16Please respect copyright.PENANABsjB75EpFm
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因為,從哥哥失明的那一天開始,兄弟倆之間的『感應』……消失了。16Please respect copyright.PENANAGKsavgkdtW
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男孩認為,這是哥哥封閉了自己的內心。因此,他學著楊亦桐以往經常對自己做的那樣,嘗試說些有趣的事情,或者是說故事給已經無法再次看書的哥哥聽。16Please respect copyright.PENANAGzWFxdvgmO
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從未說過故事的男孩說得磕磕絆絆的,語氣死板又無生氣。但楊亦桐總是微笑著安靜傾聽,偶爾會開口發表自己的看法,不曾嫌棄過弟弟那糟糕的說故事技巧。16Please respect copyright.PENANAvoeAqkzmCN
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每當這個時候,楊亦桐的笑容總會顯得真實幾分,童逸洋總有種錯覺,彷彿時間悄然倒流他們還是當初那對無憂無慮的兄弟。一起上學、一起玩耍,日子依舊平凡而溫暖,未來也似乎依然光明可期,沒有一絲陰霾。16Please respect copyright.PENANAMpnSAhuA5I
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可現實並不會因人停下腳步。某一天,殘酷的事實猶如一記重槌,毫不留情地砸碎了他美好的幻想。16Please respect copyright.PENANAnADXG5AJ43
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那天清晨下了一陣雨,雨後的天空特別湛藍,白軟的雲朵如棉花般飄浮著,彎彎的彩虹橫跨天際,彷彿一道用彩筆精心繪製的痕跡,美得讓人屏息。16Please respect copyright.PENANAPofYThelTn
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楊亦桐坐躺在床上,望著窗外的天空,無神的雙眼早已失去視力,可現在的他卻讓人感覺,他似乎真的能感受到此刻天空的美麗。16Please respect copyright.PENANAErJbzTdbuT
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當放學歸來的童逸洋推門而入時,看見的正是這幅景象。骨瘦如柴的兄長坐在床邊,柔弱的身形彷彿一陣風就能將他吹散。童逸洋心中猛然一酸,酸澀感像波浪一樣湧上胸口,直逼得他幾乎喘不過氣來。16Please respect copyright.PENANA0mLVDlsm1E
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自從楊亦桐確診至今,已經過七、八個月。即使有持續接受治療,病魔仍以摧枯拉朽之勢吞噬著男孩的身體。尤其是最近這一個月,男孩本就消瘦的身體更是被削得皮包骨,彷彿只要輕輕一碰,就會隨之斷裂。16Please respect copyright.PENANAu49veUqFCU
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──距離那一天,恐怕不會太久了。16Please respect copyright.PENANAxQ68UjGrER
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無人願意道出這個事實。16Please respect copyright.PENANA2FvoK9ScR9
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在彼此面前,他們總會勉強打起精神,裝作一副樂觀的模樣,盡可能用正面的話語鼓勵對方;可當獨自一人時,他們總是嘆息、落淚,甚至連呼吸都帶著壓抑的疼痛。整個家中,彷彿籠罩在一層無形的陰霾之中,透著無法驅散的哀傷。16Please respect copyright.PENANAlH2WKvdrTr
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一段輕聲的嘆息,打斷了他的胡思亂想。16Please respect copyright.PENANAQvL5p08nWY
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「是弟弟嗎?」16Please respect copyright.PENANA7TIb4VmAJs
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「嗯,是我。」16Please respect copyright.PENANApxQWwO56Zk
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失明後,楊亦桐的其他五感變得敏銳許多。他早就察覺自家弟弟那粗重紊亂的呼吸聲,只是遲遲未開口呼喚。16Please respect copyright.PENANACDIhUqvopq
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即使看不見,即使偽裝成樂觀的模樣,他也能感受到父母與弟弟壓抑在內心深處的心痛與悲傷。16Please respect copyright.PENANAvTzM83X7cm
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不過是一方願意欺騙,一方甘願被騙,願打願挨罷了。16Please respect copyright.PENANApeHGJokScl
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「哥你聽我說,今天……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAth5i3YIDJO
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童逸洋本來想像平時一樣分享今天在學校中發生的趣事,但今天的楊亦桐卻阻止了他繼續往下說。16Please respect copyright.PENANAlczurZPRqv
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「弟弟,能幫我去客廳拿眼鏡嗎?」16Please respect copyright.PENANAwzobg7n9l6
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「喔、喔,好,我現在去。」16Please respect copyright.PENANAh4cle2TBEW
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童逸洋幾乎沒有思考就跑了出去。可當他正準備下樓的那刻他才猛然驚覺,已經失明的楊亦桐為何還需要眼鏡?16Please respect copyright.PENANAGeKUSxylHS
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轉了個身再次回到楊亦桐的房外,白皙修長手指觸碰上門把手的那刻,準備轉動的動作因房內的啜泣聲而停下。16Please respect copyright.PENANA5WxxckYkxd
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「……死……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAQoEZKvllYU
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「不……想……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAZYhj8R8zGB
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「咳、咳……我、不想死……」16Please respect copyright.PENANASrIdT2Twhz
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站在門外的男孩紅了眼眶。16Please respect copyright.PENANAkDdT8w6uzy
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哥哥總是臉上掛著微笑,表現出看淡生死,欣然接受死亡的模樣,為的是讓他們心裡好受。可無人知道,他也不過是個男孩,一個未滿十二歲的小學生。這樣的孩子,怎麼可能能夠真正不害怕死亡?16Please respect copyright.PENANAcC3Uma3j6c
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久違窺見哥哥內心,童逸洋不知道自己現在是否該進去房裡。雙腳彷彿被灌了鉛沉重不已,只能站在原地無法動彈。16Please respect copyright.PENANAClN44X92Ed
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「救……咳、咳……救我……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAhjngyGRZLN
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「爸……媽……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAuphbLMxe8x
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「…弟…咳、呃……」16Please respect copyright.PENANAMqz3DCnim3
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本來還像個木頭人般駐在門外的童逸洋霎時察覺不對勁,瞳孔猛地緊縮。他失聲大喊一聲『哥』,隨即推開門闖入房裡。然而,眼前的景象卻讓他渾身僵硬──16Please respect copyright.PENANAHqbV2RQfyf
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在病痛與藥物的雙重折磨下,早已消瘦得不成人形的哥哥側躺在床上,無神的雙眼微微張開,睫毛上還掛著尚未乾涸的淚珠。嘴角緩緩流出的嘔吐物混雜著暗紅色的血絲,一切靜得令人窒息。而當事人,竟對這一切沒有絲毫反應。16Please respect copyright.PENANAgXawvPw5M1
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挪動僵硬的身軀前來哥哥身邊,學著警匪片中常出現的手法,伸手輕輕探向他的鼻息,可只有一片空虛。一剎那,童逸洋強撐著的腳,徹底軟了下來──16Please respect copyright.PENANAssnLfMHSxW
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哥哥……沒有呼吸了。16Please respect copyright.PENANAK7GdqJBQjG
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他死了……16Please respect copyright.PENANAJZFcBOBqII
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童逸洋也不知道自己是怎麼出去通知童思琳的,更不知楊守生何時回的家。直到兩夫妻經失聲痛哭,微微取回一絲冷靜的楊守生強忍著悲痛,準備去替大兒子辦理死亡證明時,恍惚的精神才被拉回現實。16Please respect copyright.PENANA8Q8bbBClBp
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死亡證明……16Please respect copyright.PENANANgqOWCJPFg
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一旦辦理死亡證明,『楊亦桐』的生命就此被徹底畫上句號。他再也不會回來,再也不會出現在任何人面前。16Please respect copyright.PENANAwXHuqYm46Q
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在那一剎那,腦中閃過許多畫面。父母努力想一碗水端平,卻忍不住對哥哥多一分偏愛;學校中同學與老師對哥哥無限的讚譽;還有哥哥直到最後一刻,才表現出的那痛苦的哭泣與掙扎,一聲又一聲『不想死』的哽咽聲……16Please respect copyright.PENANAt3Rd9p7EDo
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強烈的情緒撕扯著他的理智,話語甚至搶先於理智脫口而出──16Please respect copyright.PENANA0NLbpPE1x0
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「我來當楊亦桐吧。」