你好，我是莊坌但。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ts3yZBLV2
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWwoxTrccD
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjGEIkiwSO
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3iQWEnAZ4
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqYuoMUEAT
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzir7DW6aEd
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2nbxtsWXc
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5PMACZ3Rt
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KuCKRrbGE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0MRP96gh0
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKSqLM3O9s
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAi6nYQp5d
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxRqf32qKK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh4Tj0mGIR
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGmBcpfIgK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTrehggNvn
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xnfTC6LZB
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVDqhaobkT
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xTAoCATO6
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPHEnl15Cv
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ254vI6xOVt
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqxt0lA5WE
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbVHsG3mfG
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiaQ8DDfFA
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOQKuAkHfF
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKZk32lxze
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8iQ91lLtp
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrMkseKePY
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdk9HNd6Lt
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwublb5Bru
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuGPfsGx85
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QzAuN3z4t
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeuEWouuBf
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhMBxz5TCU
「你好，我是……」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN3PN2ZPmX
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBoPENehDm
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmIk8kvuEg
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXQC7xMNOR
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XcrIBVltM
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHe2w99QgOO
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2WCD927re
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUczOh29YeL
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEKzogASka
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60VY4ahnqH
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCDzxkErgj
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCahcPSOOG
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHOB39N5vL
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKuAMRbHyp
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gVc0CoARv
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17uhcpLo5p
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFanrnGbZR
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGivcgAw9Jc
不好啊非常的不好啊！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOywHF9cxE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSWrQNAWYf
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQPMr3b9JN
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8hVhkXAkg
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWC2xsu6EW
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdDZludIG7
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAgSByVtqf
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbnqQL2Vuy
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHNt3Z8B4m
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhWuPEhmYw
出了社會，總是得找份工作。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpN4i5ZSyw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH79lKraC38
我自己買了台50CC通勤。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DDeGW2zuE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjof80eMmz
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYncldWSj2d
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YF7JmAeBp
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztD0B6xSBl
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkofzEXbDs0
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI74Dlh7oN2
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9ogwM1cxU
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90kNvVFrRH
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXLJsS53r8
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16ii319xEI
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPo4zl2HtY
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8bDfKcBwr
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw91adefCs
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUXTjqo0Kx
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63OxinO2c6
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9EXHwIljy
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Gzx53fvWi
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUStMDZIJM
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YXyNEmcDN
它熄火，我傻眼。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeLT4rvz9U
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dxU2i6p4A
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcWgr2St9q
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpq9EWI6ws
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z87662whj
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7Yhf6wHid
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcEv4d0tBQ
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopOXZTALqK
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhWr6oQvJN
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5y1BLuLkp
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukdgHn9u55
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCI4MTDu7l
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzlyZProK5
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxjESIFTlq
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TWdRNGmzj
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUuvt92ZeW
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV9iezr5L2
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
