你好，我是莊坌但。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBehdEUv0K
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjXSPDQYHj
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPxRfuLxJq
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0uJ3Vpb0f
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPmwtdunXc
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuX18AiPv8
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqn8mv7Ze0
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q8RrauYIT
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUkYiyEVew
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD8cWXvnWP
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW8j2c183G
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYIdwIb5tV
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMbUJFZGkD
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5GC55OUu5
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6vBqV7uRM
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfI1UqB25i
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAtJEKgA9u
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYoDJZlSwD
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetfANxnrV8
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUaPQ8sazS
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREfcFLM0dB
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAizCGLTbh
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oQoebOBfT
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIEBjXkMII
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoz9dQdeB6
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfXYTnguJt
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8I9qD1Lif
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJf8fviIVW
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvhnOfXRyi
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDLKQudboq
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltSzULwACr
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC5mImnzXn
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xq376NU5o
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYSmPICLpr
「你好，我是……」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtfJqo3NCw
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDYHiIWMU7
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX1hXAeMO1
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhu8SFy5HBB
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67TqttxM2j
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssbBTpl8Sa
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNXSFhqydk
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNtPc2ou0P
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUKia1Nmja
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0nH8Xmak7
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnpgNFnw9A
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6691NsJyZ
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENkurg9pPC
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB0IEjJxSV
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOCGQ8m323
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxteIabO67p
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuChmAE0FZM
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEshGfklu5
不好啊非常的不好啊！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VhazBw3y0
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVC3cZyYVd
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOKN56TxR5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR8x7SAUuU
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCY7PMTnM9
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWi41ow64j
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFuQs0jkqr
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YBGubgjw4
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG30moFwyF
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYJeHljgQc
出了社會，總是得找份工作。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajcF8RWBDn
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1FMBXBnxz
我自己買了台50CC通勤。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnfASnESK3
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONbOFagprh
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51dTa5ArPL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZS6tPGdpJ
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGduLR7mBL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGvpvN2Exy
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87thja6wo5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJv34dhqTr
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEH8RuASwI
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ysfxYa8iR
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YiBKjgXe5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbzsUfDekz
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYWmMYS6d0
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp846cQYQe
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTDJCBymEL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfCSbVGllC
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFmjv5pxhG
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbRckHTTGN
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOgL9KSPMU
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2Bdf4TWni
它熄火，我傻眼。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUPFjksC3N
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgynFA2jYbD
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9GgFgBBMx
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazObkbGP7d
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgykEvVh3nG
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJW58jMaOD
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q6lr91vXr
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIe9KQT74m
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbt8FSqSg9
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39oMjtQSJj
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecdq0sD6lf
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJbjVw5QP0
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJdmpUE6hV
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7hDXHvvmr
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqlvpp5srB
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXXfq3wjEa
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtXGcRreOi
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
