你好，我是莊坌但。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8SjuL4P8H
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tTRqilPei
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuuKca8xR1
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9IOk3BpxC
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6iPvuRlhh
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCGYFUgmw2
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPYj0whEal
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoTjab2pxf
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WFcxGDiR9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FqCuQG954
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ0pP3zJAf
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvNmVC4Huy
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl9sDBsrgq
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qa7lhCeEY
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2ZhiD2mCP
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS7YosH423
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETHyEhuZuk
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hroNqDXn1
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbg14hb4Znk
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIHf9V5WHz
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOS39Mnlp3
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDz8XVZ7Q6
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLN81KUvbW
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbOWtaijjI
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc1mEf9B4Y
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeyjDRlC7o
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvxi0X7wDG
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksF6P1XWtH
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OmgLbZAs4
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESPWeWwXRo
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNsSCj7NHf
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXihhxrn5l
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmu8JoE8G3
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SCc3wMjCa
「你好，我是……」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBe47riI64
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLKz2SnqV9
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoM5xXFOPa
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XeVuQg4vZ
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArhgM9lBly
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VP0ezPv1C
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtogRoTa1O
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQpSYUug6o
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43wbCSEHCS
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQvPRYprFx
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKGmRUOFMx
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0iZ0Ruzp1
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGkuAdIKix
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVKgKTCsDr
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaJHhocvVc
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcv7AwGhv2
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7GkAs0NoZ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT94hfRqlNt
不好啊非常的不好啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JqKnk8F8E
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0wUo9JxQX
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwV7X3rGTm
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKnsW5M8Mk
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9jupib2wF
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8ufJZwzfw
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42CQIYQ96d
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPdFd85TKO
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkvqama9o7
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PO1wIvanl
出了社會，總是得找份工作。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGXqIsX3cD
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wCeFHzzqP
我自己買了台50CC通勤。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfg2u9wVkqy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwOiopGMHr
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBg47XrMvY
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV1ipmpH5T
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Zdrwdb4UK
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUry4aTDy0
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy1oIaNkfA
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5CuzkFPHh
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3nTuuNq4i
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeT9V0xmlG
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvMcQAYzeV
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVtVj4lcgT
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaLFsukbfk
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaQHgsA8G3
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhgKsqZjKx
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BmVHljQ9K
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWIGoabW0j
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiMFe6pmK6
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mUSY43Rba
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaW3QneIJI
它熄火，我傻眼。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXL2kcZpVO
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0ZvyMKmPj
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaGRlZNTbo
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsiV2h5GOp
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutrYQveH1B
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RcFlFozcJ
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KSjJnMfjR
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BABbRIFP7
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqURSvATJB2
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ua8DeFop
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9W5qerJij
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke4G3T0n4h
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy94FWiIAQ7
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZN2SUHeKXJ
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqO7tKNvV9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkQ18tfI6R
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN66OTisSSj
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