你好,我是莊坌但。393Please respect copyright.PENANAJfNInvjHF2
393Please respect copyright.PENANAPPJqV6827V
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?393Please respect copyright.PENANA5XriIp1GDQ
393Please respect copyright.PENANA5uCI9DlYtM
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。393Please respect copyright.PENANAL6qafqOB1u
393Please respect copyright.PENANAXScnhi4w94
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。393Please respect copyright.PENANAcXCGZ28FgR
393Please respect copyright.PENANAyZmQv1rGA1
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。393Please respect copyright.PENANAlAPfr65mly
393Please respect copyright.PENANAZTMRBWnM2p
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。393Please respect copyright.PENANAS41bHNrtZI
393Please respect copyright.PENANAPiD3yHQIXz
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。393Please respect copyright.PENANAYNw5xjdzre
393Please respect copyright.PENANACvagoYymfb
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。393Please respect copyright.PENANAv57ohuSPY6
393Please respect copyright.PENANAhVJvnJPbRM
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。393Please respect copyright.PENANAY8wQvR1nTc
393Please respect copyright.PENANAQIGcPXwhlj
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。393Please respect copyright.PENANAkHoo3QVkcX
393Please respect copyright.PENANAIkdvzw3HJy
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。393Please respect copyright.PENANADiwZqZ50Dc
393Please respect copyright.PENANAbXBlyMNMnZ
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。393Please respect copyright.PENANAS5iprepYGV
393Please respect copyright.PENANAEjAMsvtQH4
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。393Please respect copyright.PENANAZcFTIY3tsb
393Please respect copyright.PENANAgrriCAYPEq
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。393Please respect copyright.PENANAOZPstvI3qp
393Please respect copyright.PENANA9D02f8OBPw
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。393Please respect copyright.PENANAUaZEQyyDr9
393Please respect copyright.PENANAzI0NBAlz67
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。393Please respect copyright.PENANAYglfuFaxnx
393Please respect copyright.PENANAlmaYwoBUXA
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。393Please respect copyright.PENANA45L3wgNHac
393Please respect copyright.PENANAXI7tLDJWnW
「你好,我是……」393Please respect copyright.PENANAfB4Q8cmyvC
393Please respect copyright.PENANANHaqEMZj5n
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」393Please respect copyright.PENANADQWcfYlL30
393Please respect copyright.PENANAHU2g0nwqSL
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!393Please respect copyright.PENANAezVtJijXUu
393Please respect copyright.PENANAQVU87PilGr
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。393Please respect copyright.PENANAdT9fk5EGVW
393Please respect copyright.PENANABfr0pNgxKa
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。393Please respect copyright.PENANAYUSd4H66dc
393Please respect copyright.PENANAFzMcqVEsCA
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?393Please respect copyright.PENANAXvl2NOZrLp
393Please respect copyright.PENANAwRRLF0u1ym
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!393Please respect copyright.PENANACiZJWd6Mpj
393Please respect copyright.PENANAk5lZjl7w0a
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!393Please respect copyright.PENANAWWPc39kRQ1
393Please respect copyright.PENANAL4L9MlGWAf
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?393Please respect copyright.PENANA75qCvS9wb8
393Please respect copyright.PENANAsMZ3Xw662f
不好啊非常的不好啊!393Please respect copyright.PENANAaF78IhpJB5
393Please respect copyright.PENANAgHrxO6pbTP
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。393Please respect copyright.PENANAFOGb50GlHI
393Please respect copyright.PENANAjdW4vrVfZB
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。393Please respect copyright.PENANA1LZYyLCpSS
393Please respect copyright.PENANAoTqcewVrbr
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!393Please respect copyright.PENANArvHNzGgsUc
393Please respect copyright.PENANAbKBox2MxRg
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。393Please respect copyright.PENANAmEhlfNjeDl
393Please respect copyright.PENANA9cBeE6gtDP
出了社會,總是得找份工作。393Please respect copyright.PENANAJegv3eGn6z
393Please respect copyright.PENANAXzTNYv51Nd
我自己買了台50CC通勤。393Please respect copyright.PENANAWDFiCLO3NE
393Please respect copyright.PENANARdvYflg3m1
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。393Please respect copyright.PENANAdaNmRQuRrz
393Please respect copyright.PENANA0kG3OZo5o6
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。393Please respect copyright.PENANAFcCGUbyGMP
393Please respect copyright.PENANAU1fUX1M18R
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。393Please respect copyright.PENANAZF8MF0E6ww
393Please respect copyright.PENANATXhrBF5MvN
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」393Please respect copyright.PENANAEU3u8Ye2vq
393Please respect copyright.PENANATb1myUWEKG
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」393Please respect copyright.PENANAkjtDasAZrx
393Please respect copyright.PENANAHqMyMkqDaa
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」393Please respect copyright.PENANA3jQU5KH0r0
393Please respect copyright.PENANAuQIE4dApIc
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。393Please respect copyright.PENANAeqKPx4EvVO
393Please respect copyright.PENANAyfOVSnmAnx
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。393Please respect copyright.PENANA8YJBAPscpQ
393Please respect copyright.PENANArJ6umttQgQ
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。393Please respect copyright.PENANASxcx0mDwwT
393Please respect copyright.PENANA0PrjXXvXrl
它熄火,我傻眼。393Please respect copyright.PENANANX9pL9DixQ
393Please respect copyright.PENANAPNqTDVYOew
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。393Please respect copyright.PENANAwnpN9hJtBa
393Please respect copyright.PENANA66ifTGCLjn
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。393Please respect copyright.PENANAFq6m9wlaqC
393Please respect copyright.PENANAihrRv152Wc
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。393Please respect copyright.PENANAkX51Y9Fnja
393Please respect copyright.PENANA6VZsD7Jecj
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!393Please respect copyright.PENANAY4pJeMbipf
393Please respect copyright.PENANAfftF4qNI7F
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。393Please respect copyright.PENANA722gBjCgP6
393Please respect copyright.PENANAckYMXYY0ld
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?393Please respect copyright.PENANACK9XdnxPVz
393Please respect copyright.PENANAlblKftBTUs
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。393Please respect copyright.PENANAO728tdVmVO
393Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5ac4zTcFr
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!393Please respect copyright.PENANAuZkBrJTlrM