你好，我是莊坌但。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLVcPorhEi
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcgjcmPrg9
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLtzaVwBc9
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJiqrMYRgi
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5ulWckk77
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJXEnsSuNb
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mTk9lDDIw
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSLdmIQqLk
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3jyQArV4R
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC0YSmjmWk
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qH1fHJmNY
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qDS7xK1lX
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrD8Xe4X9N
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxz00uHzor
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXQ4LBVE0C
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOmCJDYmOX
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcu8hZVCVlI
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWi491MLqJ
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtfnaoAOB2
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsQgOJOmfj
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaOCoTy4BW
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CEPB2Yp6e
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHoHTjkEn4
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb5CBUX4n5
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZmkq76s9H
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN4E34dU4Y
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26AOVzRV1d
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBYYsQ7qOZ
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HZeXpHP43
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm1ggi5FnQ
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qwr9VAOyD
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6T95BzDipM
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD8m1ZQCrt
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6ob9rxnaH
「你好，我是……」385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANAAj1uh14
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjnZdQmYik
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4rnfRkUPs
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPtaITMw8B
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwYJHMEqJG
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfMIeB7Pyd
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfgbNPHJ2p
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0AryTgcdG
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64fhH7ngUE
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpUFwJsPuc
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNWCb8VGdq
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuniLNXeoU
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyInaFDBMhT
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaYWzAL3Wx
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49oFshVATw
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ08RJpVu9Y
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN285DLgVSw
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfLFLWSVrm
不好啊非常的不好啊！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVhOA3QL55
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oYIVa3iQA
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgjVTVulA6
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xUsXpBBwd
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiFmEJyBPH
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvS2MYBc4U
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD1wO2VUqk
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUnmhoXlP1
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLklbpYrmni
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX02AJQKDE
出了社會，總是得找份工作。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxshjNQCFc
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjVKS6VYsl
我自己買了台50CC通勤。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkMH7vOAJc
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ojMcoZsWG
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YEixSCePA
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTeQfqhoUu
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61Cna0BFX2
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNQ57KBmKn
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69v7xGMylr
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBcEMoTwTF
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHnjZskYAO
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NV2wYMRNp
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8It3sPB4Ne
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRXrkVPRy4
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTyKEEMQad
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdlk2oRSnj
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkfvmVfihx
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyC5KQExEI
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdNxFsMcxN
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSUM4jsWTA
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uExF3g3HY
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQcOwO9ItE
它熄火，我傻眼。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJUGxVOKbk
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡws7nw8NIgb
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNoH4eC1Vc
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2N1uBDkXC
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteM4FAjBy5
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWPyaHifKs
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig1HkBWHAQ
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDg1c2bz97
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZLHbZVyIT
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHvJXyo35m
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPwTJBnVsU
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJVwimNhvz
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxujo118NqM
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqGyLJj6LR
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEZdZarLcd
385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzckezHqS2
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！385Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIydiwd6DUA
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