你好，我是莊坌但。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfNInvjHF2
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPJqV6827V
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XriIp1GDQ
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uCI9DlYtM
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6qafqOB1u
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXScnhi4w94
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXCGZ28FgR
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZmQv1rGA1
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAPfr65mly
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTMRBWnM2p
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS41bHNrtZI
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiD3yHQIXz
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNw5xjdzre
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvagoYymfb
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv57ohuSPY6
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVJvnJPbRM
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8wQvR1nTc
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIGcPXwhlj
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHoo3QVkcX
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkdvzw3HJy
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiwZqZ50Dc
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXBlyMNMnZ
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5iprepYGV
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjAMsvtQH4
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcFTIY3tsb
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrriCAYPEq
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZPstvI3qp
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9D02f8OBPw
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaZEQyyDr9
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI0NBAlz67
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYglfuFaxnx
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmaYwoBUXA
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45L3wgNHac
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXI7tLDJWnW
「你好，我是……」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB4Q8cmyvC
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHaqEMZj5n
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQWcfYlL30
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHU2g0nwqSL
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezVtJijXUu
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVU87PilGr
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT9fk5EGVW
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfr0pNgxKa
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUSd4H66dc
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzMcqVEsCA
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvl2NOZrLp
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRRLF0u1ym
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiZJWd6Mpj
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5lZjl7w0a
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWPc39kRQ1
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4L9MlGWAf
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75qCvS9wb8
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMZ3Xw662f
不好啊非常的不好啊！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaF78IhpJB5
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHrxO6pbTP
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOGb50GlHI
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdW4vrVfZB
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LZYyLCpSS
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTqcewVrbr
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvHNzGgsUc
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKBox2MxRg
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEhlfNjeDl
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cBeE6gtDP
出了社會，總是得找份工作。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJegv3eGn6z
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzTNYv51Nd
我自己買了台50CC通勤。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDFiCLO3NE
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdvYflg3m1
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaNmRQuRrz
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kG3OZo5o6
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcCGUbyGMP
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1fUX1M18R
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF8MF0E6ww
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXhrBF5MvN
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU3u8Ye2vq
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb1myUWEKG
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjtDasAZrx
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqMyMkqDaa
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jQU5KH0r0
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQIE4dApIc
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqKPx4EvVO
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfOVSnmAnx
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YJBAPscpQ
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ6umttQgQ
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxcx0mDwwT
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PrjXXvXrl
它熄火，我傻眼。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX9pL9DixQ
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNqTDVYOew
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnpN9hJtBa
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66ifTGCLjn
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFq6m9wlaqC
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihrRv152Wc
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkX51Y9Fnja
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VZsD7Jecj
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4pJeMbipf
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfftF4qNI7F
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ722gBjCgP6
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckYMXYY0ld
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCK9XdnxPVz
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlblKftBTUs
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO728tdVmVO
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5ac4zTcFr
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZkBrJTlrM
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