你好，我是莊坌但。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWTr7eUMnO
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWxYDiJ2VF
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAK3ORz5Ut
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5vgrYgTmE
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy29ejqyvi
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtrWKyEGI7
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ864N6fsuS8
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW38v8lkkt
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc8krEHY69
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0YTVO2h25
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMPaLIVJZG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp1gzzoQLn
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNqecToH6B
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfprBlsnpVm
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ii04CeWvl
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdzHdrD9ok
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr8c4gBL82
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQjYVyj540
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlodUo9BXO
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMeWY1hoRp
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4bBg177MP
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbuCVZ8tI0
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJk7U3XGLr
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNjeoRyISg
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0spKDCvW74
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JIWE68dHv
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGmfvgUp96
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dchug4oIq
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yRMFTGjlG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0d0X1FsX2
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5t6CltT3j
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8QkveIS71
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpsbMCAf1U
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5Tn21d0o4
「你好，我是……」422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPo8P33cNN
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA65gOuhHyJ
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3nSBUabmN
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx9GZvBu1m
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6VKORNFU9
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIh4sbjIDZ
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5gCFeaWm6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ynkxsshfa
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRlJhwLdUC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PA4UVnGUh
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsitRRF8QD
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0CQLTucrm
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQmzOMQYQ7
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpGGs4lF09
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGANyZyk76
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToMGqhJTqB
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v1PaeQdIs
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz5GORv6Kn
不好啊非常的不好啊！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalDAVj8cgC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvhPqN3g1i
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIqGnTLMwY
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAS5xsBIIw
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbF32195vK
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvvH8DEdpo
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2NSMHiP4o
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoJK0Quh6A
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOOeIkY563
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP6tR8kXkw
出了社會，總是得找份工作。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq89T2Y9cI
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CbE5Syd1E
我自己買了台50CC通勤。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AHXRpY6us
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP2LAQl6na
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3eru3pw8Y
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ON3cvvZfj
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN9YHAophd
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMZ1dVXVuB
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrOh2lPzu5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKfPQQQuFu
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp1yc52NWf
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckffnwpSox
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2ctSRtCQx
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZFIG4MJiQ
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdIjAKxBRN
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQbQVKb4AQ
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1PPitbgBV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROLbRFfN3U
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURs5MaxB5q
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKtJm7lU7s
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp3FCUSIOq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqSTiOLsld
它熄火，我傻眼。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafKSU5ngTJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQNx5gABAV
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXMCKkTpWb
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNTUsTUUuZ
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP62IJI0oE3
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJdm9rjTue
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo483OPisC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrTKliFjks
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHdpCHt7rt
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXYIMpRX19
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzpNjBWQq9
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOKr49AN0C
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFX0bW6eZZ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikvM4V0JRz
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGiQ6KGl8C
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPAbnq3PYH
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oWRwTXuaK
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