1.
On a Saturday night in November, I was finally able to go out again, but not after James and Casper had dragged me over to our favourite pub, Eclipse.
Today marked the third month after it happened. 429Please respect copyright.PENANAD7vSbYcFaX
My future ruined, my happiness thrown away into the nearest bin, my heart in bits and pieces.
Worst of all, everything reminded me of her. Just every fucking little thing.
I just sat at the bar with my friend James and older brother Casper. We just ordered a fresh round of drinks. Casper was tipsy alread and in the middle of his 'talking-too-much'-mode. James kept eye-fucking a petite black-haired lady who didn't seem to mind at all.
I was out with friends, yes, but still felt lonely and out of place. 429Please respect copyright.PENANACHsyTEhKpB
429Please respect copyright.PENANAmLucG8S7Ru
At least my boys were having a nice night.
It had just turned midnight when James' eye-bang-party-partner came up to him and asked him for a dance. Casper and I were just sitting in the booth, sipping our drinks and talking occasionally.
I knew my brother had a hard time not talking about my break-up. However, it was for the better. That didn't take away the fact that I felt extremely guilty towards him. I felt like I was denying my brother some kind of freedom, since his girlfriend was her best friend: Rosalee. And Rosalee was at home tonight.429Please respect copyright.PENANAofOaaM5ho4
But it wasn't like I actually told the man he couldn't bring his girlfriend to the bar. I'm not that rude. Or honest.
James probably said something, though. Or maybe Rosalee herself thought I'd associate her with her . That was nice of my sister-in-law and I'm just glad she didn't hate me even though her words have hurt me on one or more occasions, she was such a good person. She knew how much a broken heart could hurt. That, and I wasn't the one to break-up with my Girl.
Casper was telling me all about his newest Xbox game and as much as I wanted to pay attention, the only thing I remembered was that it had something to do with killstreaks.
I nodded and smiled when he paused for a second, and just like that he didn't even realize -or pretended not to care that I was not even in the same room as this conversation. He continued chatting me up about all things ordinary and extra-ordinary.
My gaze wandered around the building, looking at the wide variety of people and their behaviour. As I did, I looked at the dimly lit bar, where all the bottles and glasses reflected the lighting.
I think I just lost it
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