I exhaled a slow and shaky breathe, fear flooding all five of my senses
“And i say with absolute positivity, that we must focus on all of the good times. The memories that make us smile. That’s the best way to get through this tragedy” i barely heard the unfamiliar voice, it was as if there were three thick walls between me and the person talking- yet I was still able to make sense of the words being spoken.
The first thing I noticed was hot hot and thick the air felt... humid really. I couldn’t see anything as I felt anything and everything nearby... which was hardly anything. It felt as if I was in a bed, a soft yet claustrophobic bed. I was lying on soft cloth that felt as it if had been lay over thick, hard wood. There were two walls to either side of my body and one directly above me, all which were padded with thin cloth. I tried my hardest to make out any recent memories, but nothing came to mind. The most recent thing I could recall was eating a bowl of cereal at the breakfast table- that could have been days ago for all I know.
“It is now that I politely invite Antoinette’s mother and father to come up to the stage and say a few words.” Antoinette... I’m Antoinette! Where the hell am I? How in the world did I get here? How do I get out?
My breaths starting speeding up as I struggled in my place to move around... to get out of this confined space that I felt as if I was dying inside. But I instantly fell motionless when I heard a soft voice that made me feel comfortable... my mother’s voice
“An- Antoinette...” her voice was rough and shaky... practically broken, “Antoinette Pamela Jameson was my soul mate. She was all a mother could dream for in a daughter. She was perfect in each and every way.”
“Mom I’m right here.” I whispered, “MOM IM HERE!” I used all the strength I could muster to kick the wall in front of me, which only resulted in a sharp pain running through my leg.
“The happiest day of my life will forever be the day that Antoinette was born. I looked into her soft blue eyes and fell in love instantly. I remember seeing the green ring’s surrounding either iris and thinking... ‘how am I so lucky?’. Day after day, Antoinette made me happier and happier. Teaching her how to read, how to count, how to read. Every day with her felt like a blessing... I can’t imagine why anyone would ever want to hurt her like this.” She started dramatically sobbing into the microphone.
It finally made complete sense... yet it made no sense at all. I’m at a funeral- I’m at my funeral.
“HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!” I screamed from the top of my lungs as the severe panic began to sink in. Had I been buried alive? Am I a ghost? How could something like this happen?
I began hitting the casket case with every ounce of strength in my body. The air began to thicken more and more with every breathe and I couldn’t tell whether it was because of the slow air loss or because of my panicked state. I screamed as loud as I could, praying that someone would hear me and save me from whatever nightmare i’d woken up to. I pushed the lid of the casket as hard as I possibly could, instantly hearing a loud crack which instantly flooded my body with hope. Do I really have a chance at getting out of here?
I tried to push the bit of the casket i’d just cracked open but it was heavier than I’d thought.
“I remember when Antoinette bought her first boyfriend home.” It was my dads voice this time. He sounded like he was holding everything together a lot better than my mother had been, “Jason his name had been... he was such a good kid. But of course, I tried as hard as I could to intimidate him. I don’t even know why I acted that way, I’d always seen dads do things like that in the movies so I figured that was the right way to do it. That will be a memory i’ll never forget. I’d acted so rudely towards him and he still stuck with Antoinette. She was so beautiful- on the inside and out. No wonder why he put up with my immature behaviour to be with her”
A warm tear dropped from my eye and rolled down my cheek. “I’m coming dad.” I whispered under my breathe as I pushed harder on the case of the coffin. Another loud crack caused me to grow a smile bigger than the Cheshire cats... but only for a moment. Seconds later, a heaviness fell over my body as soil began to fall through the cracks. The soil weighed more than a thousands bricks and I felt breathing becoming more and more of a struggle every second. I saw a glimpse of the beaming sun through a crack in the coffin for one second as the soil fell perfectly in place, but as it fell more and more onto me, the small bit of light was drowned out by the soil. I felt a clump land onto my face and another onto my chest. I closed my eyes as hard as I could and held my breathe. Death by soil... who would have thought.
“My name is Antoinette.” I smiled as I looked at the girl standing in front of me. Her eyes were bright and her hair was dark.
“Antoinette... that’s a hard one to say.” She giggled in her high pitched voice, “I’m Raven.”
Raven... my first ever friend. The memory of my first day of kindergarten bought a sad smile to my lips, I might never see Raven again.
“Antoinette?” The teacher called my name from the role. Looking at me with a welcoming smile that she hadn’t given any of the other students, “I’ve heard a lot about you dear. All of your previous teachers say that you’re a delight to teach. They say you may only be twelve but you can think like a sixteen year old.l
“Thank you so much Miss. Patella.” I returned the smile, “that means a lot to me.”
I heard rude snickers from the back of the classroom. “Antoinette. What a teachers pet.”
I turned around to see the class bully, Austen Miller, poking his tongue out at me, “even your name sucks.” He laughed at me.
Austin was rude to everyone, yet he got to kiss the prettiest girl in the grade on the playground, and whenever a girl was playing the mom in their imaginary house games, they’d beg him to play their husband.
I remember going home that afternoon and fighting with my mom for giving me such a ‘stupid’ name. I stayed up hours after bed time secretly thinking of nick names. The next day I went to school and told everyone I wanted to be called Tony. Of course though, Austin decided to call me toe nail.
“Antoinette Pamela Jameson.” He looked straight into my eyes, and I into his, “I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you. I know we’re only seventeen, and most people would say we’re not going to last. But I know the truth, I know that you’re the person I want to grow old with. I vow to marry you one day.”
“Austin... a year ago I was dating a straight A student. I was a straight A student. I followed all of the rules and I kept to a strict schedule. I was on track- but I wasn’t happy.” I paused for a moment, staring into the bright yellow specks swirled into Austin’s green eyes, “you bought excitement into my life. You put a smile on my face every single day. You protected me. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
My first ever ‘i love you’. He’d promised he would marry me... and now he’s never going to be able to fulfil that vow. I began to sob as reality set in. I felt my body fill with heartbreak from head to toe. I was never going to kiss my mother goodnight again. I was never going to surprise my dad with cupcakes while he was at work, or gossip with my best friend about school dramas, or make love to my boyfriend.
My breaths began slow to terrifying proportions. The darkness I was seeing slowly began to become bright... the light at the end of the tunnel. I was gone. There was no going back. The light got brighter and brighter. My consciousness wore thinner and thinner.
“Wait... it looks like the grave caved in!” A voice that sounded much like Austin’s yelled. And that was the last thing I heard before i’d been completely pulled from the face of the earth.
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