Dilemma
My mind was fluttering everywhere, kasabay nang pagragasa ng malamig na tubig sa katawan ko. Hindi man lang nakatulong ang lamig ng paligid para maibalik ako sa tamang huwisyo. Instead, my mind was keep on breaking into series of fragments and went along with my soul who just left me dazed out and flew away to different dimension of the galaxy.
"Blaire! Bilisan mo naman! Mag-iisang oras ka nang naliligo diyan!"
I breathed out upon hearing Chelzie's nag. Feeling ko nga, masyado na akong nagtatagal sa banyo. Sa bawat kibot kasi, napapahinto ako para tumulala. I was seriously cudgelling my brain kung anong nagawa ko sa past life para pasabugan ako ng problema. Hindi na kasi ako nawalan ng iniisip, palagi na lang may iniintindi. Siguro, 'yung Blaire Altaluna sa past life, maagang namatay. Maraming hindi natapos na misyon sa buhay. Kaya ngayon, ako ang sumalo sa lahat ng kadramahan niya.
"Bababa na 'ko ha! Hinahanap na 'ko ni Zur. Bilisan mo na!" I heard her slam the door.
Niluwagan ko ang valve at binilisan ang pagkilos. Kanina pa mainit ang ulo ni Chelzie. I had to make it fast or else, baka magbago ang isip niya't hindi na ako samahan.
Habang nagbabanlaw, patuloy na kinakalkal ng mga salitang binitiwan ni Aling Sienna ang utak ko. Masakit sa ulo. Nakakawala ng ulirat. I couldn't seemed to understand why Jehoram would do that. Aaminin kong minsan na ring sumagi iyon sa isip ko. I haven't seen him for how many days, inisip ko na baka may sama siya ng loob at umiiwas sa 'kin. But I had to spew the idea dahil mukhang imposible naman. Wala naman kasing dahilan para gawin niya 'yon.
And then it turned out... hindi lang pala ako ang nag-iisip ng gano'n. Even his mother had the same thought! Ang cool namang coincidence no'n, 'pag nagkataon.
Matapos asikasuhin ang sarili, lumabas na 'ko ng k'warto at bumaba. Simpleng sweatshirt na beige at denim shorts lang ang suot ko. Nakasampay sa magkabilang balikat ang leather backpack at nakasuot ng itim na pares ng sapatos, parehong gawa sa rubber.
I was combing my wet hair with my fingers habang bumababa sa hagdan. Sa huling baitang, ang nakapamaywang na si Chelzie ang sumalubong sa 'kin.
"Grabe! Wala ka na bang mas itatagal pa?"
"Bakit ba ang init ng ulo mo?"
"At bakit hindi? Kating-kati na ang mga paa ko! Ang aga-aga ko nag-asikaso tapos ikaw, ang tagal-tagal mo!"
Inirapan ko siya at nilampasan. As what I've said, kanina pa mainit ang ulo niya't walang nakakaintindi sa kaniya. Alas sais pa lang, na'ndito na siya. Sabi ni Margarette, nakasimangot na raw 'yan nang dumating. Sabi ko nga, 'wag niya na lang akong samahan kung masama ang loob niya. She doesn't really have to. Pero siya pa ang nagpupumilit.
"Sinong bumawas sa Krispy Kreme ko?"
Nilingon ko si Bailey. He was just quietly eating his breakfast. Siya kasi ang nagbigay sa 'kin ng donut kagabi. Nilagay ko ang box sa refrigerator. 'Pag check ko, nabawasan ng isang glazed-flavor.
Bailey gulped his water, nginuso ang bagong pasok na tao sa dining area. Chelzie threw daggers at him. Nang lingunin ako, umirap siya. Nalaglag ang panga ko. The audacity!
"Ginutom ako, okay?" giit niya at sumalo sa hapag.
"Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng donut?"
"Duh! Change of taste!"
I wagged my head at naupo sa kabisera, kasabay lang ng pagdating ni Kuya. He softly kissed her fiancee's cheek at naupo sa katabing silya.
"Saan ba punta niyo?"
"Sagada nga, paulit-ulit!"
"Babe." He idly stared at her. "Sabi mo lang kasi, Mountain Province. Tapos tinanong ulit kita, sabi mo diyan diyan lang. Anong klaseng sagot 'yon?"
Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang pag-iinarte nila. It was just a waste of time. Ano kayang mangyayari sa married life nila in the nearest future? 'Wag naman sanang umabot sa point na sila na lang ang iintindihin ko. I could still remember how we were in College. Palagi silang nagkakasakitan. Ako tuloy ang palaging nagagambala. Wala naman kasing pakialam si Levi sa kanila.
Kumuha na lang ako ng pancake at nilapag sa plato. Pinanood ni Chelzie ang pagbuhos ko ng chocolate syrup sa pancake, mahaba ang nguso.
"Sure kang si Tita Martha ang nagpapunta sa 'yo?" Bailey asked.
I nodded. "Why?"
Kumunot ang noo niya, bumaling kay Kuya. "Isn't it weird?"
My brows almost converged. "Weird? Bakit?"
Ano namang weird sa pagpapapunta sa 'kin ni Tita sa Sagada? That was just a small favor! Tsaka kahit naman hindi niya 'ko sabihan, pupunta talaga ako. I wanted to know!
Chelzie threw a grain of rice at Bailey. Napangiwi ako. Maagap na umiling siya sa 'kin.
"'Wag mo siyang intindihin. Antok pa 'yan."
Kuya cleared his throat, binalingan ako. "Ihatid mo si Chelzie sa Carlisle. Baka gabihin ako ng uwi."
"'Di mo sila sasamahan?" tanong muli ni Bailey, sumubo ng kanin.
"Meeting."
Nilingon ako ni Bailey. "Sama 'ko."
"Bakit?" Chelzie and I asked in chorus.
Agad namang tumango si Kuya, mabilis pa ang pagnguya. "Bitbitin niyo na si Bailey."
Nagkatinginan kami ni Chelzie. I shrugged, umangat na naman ang kilay niya sa kapatid ko.
"Wala ka bang pasok?"
"SHS Week. Nakakatamad. Ikaw, wala ka bang pasok? 'Di ba break mo kahapon dahil Valentine's?"
"Meron. Okay lang naman sa boss ko."
"S'yempre, kaibigan ni Kuya." He grinned. "You're taking advantage of your privilege."
"Hoy! Excuse me!" Nagbato na naman siya ng butil. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, hindi man lang suwayin ni Kuya! "Gusto ko kayang pumasok! Ang boss ko ang nagpumilit! Deserve ko raw na magkaro'n ng kaunting pahinga! Palibhasa ang sama-sama mo kaya hindi ka marunong maging mabait!"
Ang ingay-ingay na naman nila sa hapag. Chelzie was really a havoc personified— as how Kuya described her way back in high school. Dati, asar na asar siya. Ngayon, wala man lang siyang magawa. She really did tame my brother. Kahit ang kalat-kalat niya sa bahay, pinapabayaan siya. Kaya sila palaging nag-aaway ni Bailey 'e. Si Mr. Peace and Order kasi 'yon. Pero tulad ni Kuya, wala siyang magawa. My bestfriend was really an expert in bringing people in their knees.
We left the house at 8 am, naunang umalis sa amin si Kuya. Bailey insisted to drive my car. Mercedes Benz na kulay abo 'yon at last week ko lang nakuha. By the way, I took driving lesson again, medyo matagal-tagal din kasi nang huli akong nakapag-drive. Plus, the road in Seoul was very different from Manila's.
"Ube na siopao? Kumakain ka niyan?" Nandidiri ang tingin ni Chelzie sa 'kin, isang beses nang huminto kami sa convenient store.
"Bakit hindi?"
"Ang weird! Bakit hindi na lang hopia ang bilhin mo? O kaya asado? 'Di ba gusto mo 'yun?"
I rolled my eyes. "Bakit ba nangingialam ka? Malawak ang mundo. Exciting ang buhay. Explore."
And I think I just left her there in agape.
Naka-ilang stop-over pa kami, mabilis kasing makaubos ng snacks si Chelzie. Halos siya lang ata ang kumakain ng mga binibili ni Bailey! She was also peeing from time to time, kailangan tuloy naming tumigil para maki-CR sa kung saan-saan. Kanina pa nakasimangot ang kapatid ko. Obvious naman na gusto niya nang magreklamo. He just couldn't begin to rant dahil siya ang nagpresintang sumama.
Ang nangyari tuloy, mas humaba ang b'yahe namin. Bukod sa traffic, mas maraming oras ang nasayang dahil pahinto-hinto kami. Hapon na nang makarating kami sa Mountain Province, palubog na rin ang araw nang mag-umpisa kaming umakyat ng bundok— according to the address written in the paper.
"Ano ba talagang ginagawa natin dito? 'Di mo naman sinabing gusto mo lang mag-hiking." Chelzie coughed, crouching her back, halatang pagod na dahil sa mahabang lakaran.
My brother was trailing behind us. 'Di tulad ni Chelzie, mukhang nag-eenjoy siya sa mga nahahagip ng mga mata niya.
"Shut up," he hissed.
Mabilis na tumuwid ng tayo ang kaibigan ko. She was seething so bad nang nilingon si Bailey.
"Ikaw ba kausap ko?!"
Umirap ako sa hangin at binilisan ang paglalakad. Nakaka-drain ng energy ang ginagawa nila. Lalo na si Chelzie. Kaya ang bilis-bilis niyang mapagod 'e. She did nothing but to tattle. Kailangan pa niyang agawin ang tubigan ng kapatid ko dahil ubos na ang kan'ya. Bailey had no choice but to get used to it. His brother was about to marry a blabbermouth. Tuloy, kahit ilang metro na ang layo ko sa kanila, rinig na rinig ko pa rin ang pagtatalo nila.
I just kept on paving the way while tightly holding the paper. Nakabuntot naman sa 'kin ang dalawa. Maraming matatayog na puno at maugat ang lupa. Kahit mainit, maraming sumasangga sa sinag ng araw. Kung iba lang ang sadya, baka nakapag picture-taking pa kami. Visually appealing din kasi ang lugar. At kahit walang tiyak na ruta, confident akong hindi kami maliligaw. All thanks to the pathway na kanina pa namin sinusundan.
'Yun nga lang, pagkalampas ng ilang metro, biglang naputol iyon. Napaangat ako ng tingin. Isang malawak na terrain. May matatayog pa ring mga puno, pero 'di na gaya sa dinaanan namin. Was it the peak of the mountain?
Ano namang gagawin ni Levi rito?
"Saan ba 'to patungo?" I heard Chelzie's voice behind me. Napatigil rin sila.
"P'wede bang sumunod ka na lang? Alam naman ni Ate kung sa'n tayo pupunta. Kung pagod ka na, pagulungin mo 'yung sarili mo pababa. Hintayin mo na lang kami ro'n."
"Ikaw kaya itulak ko pababa?!"
Slowly, humakbang ako patungo sa malawak na terrain. The sun rays beamed on my skin. Napapikit kaagad ako dahil sa sinag. Kinuha ko ang cap na nakasabit sa strap ng bag at sinuot sa ulo ko. After a few steps, mas naging malinaw sa 'kin ang lahat.
Standing from afar was a wooden-frame house under construction.
The structure was facing the east, nakatalikod sa papalubog na araw. The contemporary landscape around it was attractively wholesome. May mga Aster, Sampaguita, at Orchids na maayos ang pagkakahilera sa bawat gilid. Bukod pa ro'n ay may mga matatas na puno ng mangga, 'yon nga lang ay puro bubot pa ang bunga. May mga halaman din na papatubo pa lang. Mga bulaklak na 'di pa tuluyang namumukadkad. Palagay ko, matapos lang ang construction ng ginagawang bahay, magmimistulang maliit na hacienda ito.
Natutop ko ang bibig ko nang mag-umpisang maglaro ang iba't ibang emosyon sa dibdib. Memories came running to every corner of my mind. Parang hinihiwa ang sentro ng dibdib ko, sabay binubudburan ng asin para lalong magdugo. Dumaan sa ala-ala ko 'yung mga panahon na nangangarap kami. Noong nasa rooftop kami ng bahay nila, noong sinabi niyang pangarap niyang makasama ako... sa lugar na hindi civilized. Walang polusyon. At abot-tanaw ang pagsikat ng araw.
"Hindi ba..." Chelzie sounded in awe, too.
I bit my lower lip. My eyes began to water as I averted my eyes to them.
"'Yung blueprint..." Panic came across their eyes. "Na sa 'yo ba 'yung blueprint?"
Maagap na umiling si Chelzie. "Dalawang copy 'yung ginawa ko, pero binigay ko sa kaniya pareho."
"Sa k'warto niya?" hinuha ni Bailey.
Tumango agad ako, posible. Bumagsak ang isang patak ng luha mula sa mata ko. Mabilis kong pinalis 'yon at tumalikod sa kanila.
I tried to dial Tita Martha's number. It was ringing, pero hindi niya sinasagot. I was walking back and forth, hindi maalis ang mga mata sa nakatirik na framework.
All this time, ito ang dahilan kung bakit busy siya. Ito ang pinagkakaabalahan niya. He was busy fulfilling one of the dreams we shared together. Walang nakakaalam. Tahimik siyang kumikilos. He was silently hoping that someday, magiging okay ang kalagayan niya. Tapos titira siya sa lugar na 'to... kasama ko.
Hindi niya naisip na posibleng humantong sa ganito ang lahat. Na matutulog siya nang matagal. Na malalagay sa alanganin ang buhay niya. Dahil noon pa man, buo ang pag-asa niya na gagaling siya— at magiging normal ang takbo ng buhay para sa kaniya.
Tita Martha failed to answer my calls. Tatlong beses kong tinawagan, pero hindi siya sumasagot. I decided to call Ate Faye instead. Sana lang, hindi siya busy. Marami na 'kong utang kay Ate. Utang na loob. I hope someday, I could pay her back. Hahanapan ko na lang siguro siya ng sariling lovelife. Her past relationships has been so painful. Baka doon, p'wede akong bumawi.
"Blaire?" My heart leaped nang sumagot siya.
"Ate..."
I could almost see Chelzie's eyes rolling.
"You sound bad. May nangyari?"
I twitched my lips, pinaalalahanan ang sarili na kumalma. "Na saan ka ngayon?"
"BGC, may ime-meet na client. Why?"
"Can you..." Nilingon ko sina Bailey. They were both all eyes and ears sa conversation. "Can you go to Levi's room later?"
"Sa ospital? Yes, pupunta ako ro'n."
"No, hindi... Sa bahay niyo."
It took long before she replied. I heard her clear her throat. "Bakit?"
"May ipapahanap lang sana ako sa 'yo," I said. "Blueprint..."
"Blueprint?"
Nilingon ko ang framework, sinuring maigi. "Blueprint ng isang.... bungalow house? Disenyo ni Chelzie. Two copies daw 'yon pero kahit isa lang 'yung makita ko. I just have to see it immediately."
"Ah! Okay, 'yung nasa magulong painting niya ba?" She laughed. "Sure, no problem. Hahanapin ko. But I can't promise, ha? Nagpa-general cleaning kasi si Mom last week. Baka may mga naitapon na gamit."
I thanked her multiple times before ending the call. She was really a big blessing. Mas'werte ako. She was really one of the best people I could always count on. Lalo na 'pag dating kay Levi.
"Ano raw sabi?" Lumapit sa 'kin si Chelzie.
"She'll try."
Umismid siya. "Try try pa. Gawin niya!"
Pinagtalunan na naman nila ni Bailey 'yon. I walked away from their noise and went infront of the unfinished structure. Nakapamaywang ako habang nakatunghay sa taas no'n. I couldn't begin to imagine how dead set Levi was para tuparin ang pangarap niyang ito— na naging pangarap ko na rin. Iniisip ko pa lang kung ga'no siya ka-excited habang ginagawa 'to, napapangiti na rin ako.
Hindi niya man lang sinabi sa 'kin. He might have wanted to surprise me. Kaso nga lang, last year pa ata under construction 'to, if I wasn't mistaken. Ano naman kayang dahilan kung bakit hindi niya pinatapos?
Kulang sa budget? Imposible naman. Napagod siya? Mas lalong imposible. You can't make him give up easily. Kung anuman ang dahilan kung bakit 'di niya na ito tinuloy, I have trust, may valid siyang dahilan.
And I think, it was better that he left the construction pending. At least, may magagawa pa 'ko. We shared this dream together, sabay rin dapat kaming kikilos.
Lalo na sa sit'wasyon namin ngayon. He was in a sicklist, but I was in fine fettle. Sa aming dalawa, mas may kakayahan akong magpatuloy. He has already done his part. Siya ang nag-umpisa. And it was now my responsibility to finish what he just had started.
Tama.
Kaya kung anumang gumugulo sa isip ko, I should wipe them away. May pangarap kami ni Levi. And that was more than enough for me to have faith.
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumalikod, yayayain na sanang umuwi sina Bailey. Malapit na rin kasing magdilim. Panigurado, gagabihin kami nang sobra bago makauwi.
But as I turned my back, my brain was gone out of order again.
Standing a few meters away from me was him. Naka-itim na hoodie at jeans. May hawak na dalawang bottled water at... malamig na nakatitig sa mga mata ko.
"Jehoram..."
I was already mentally sounded earlier. Buong-buo na ang puso ko. Alam ko na kung anong dapat kong gawin. I have already found my purpose yet out of the blue, bigla na naman siyang nagpakita.
"Anong..." I found it hard to compose my emotion again. "Ginagawa mo rito?"
He seemed to be surrounded by thick glacials. His arctic eyes were shunted on mine, ngunit sa kabila ng pagiging malamig ng mga 'yon, I could feel my knees getting wobbly at ang puso ko... parang tinutunaw.
"Hindi ba dapat ako ang magtanong n'yan?" He smiled.
But it wasn't the smile I was longing to see. Malayo sa mga ngiti niya na nagpapagaan sa pakiramdam ko. Hindi 'yon ang ngiting nakita ko noong binigyan niya 'ko ng bracelet sa St. Joseph. Hindi rin 'yon ang ngiti niya nang magpasalamat siya sa 'kin dahil napasaya ko ang kapatid niya. His smile was different. And it wasn't so him.
"May pinapa-pick-up lang sa 'kin. Pauwi na rin ako, tapos... nakita ko 'yung Mercedes Benz mo sa baba."
Napangiti ako. At least, tulad noon, he will not leave me wondering. Sasagot pa rin talaga siya sa mga tanong ko. May ilang bagay lang siguro na hanggang ngayon... hindi pa rin malinaw.
I smiled back at him. Gano'n pa rin, malamig pa rin ang mga tingin niya. Giniya ko siya patungo sa likod ng mga kahoy. It wasn't yet too late to watch the sun sink. May chance pa para mapanood. And the place offered a great access to the beautiful scenery.
"Do you... usually go here?"
He slightly smiled, shaking his head. "Last year pa. Gano'n din. May pinick-up, tapos... napadaan." Nilingon niya 'ko. "Ikaw? Bakit ka nandito?"
Ngumiti ako. Pilit ko 'yong pinalawak at pinagmukhang masigla ang ekspresyon ko. I turned my back and pointed my index finger to the house frame. Nilingon niya rin 'yon.
"Nakikita mo 'yan?" I marked my voice with enthusiasm. "Fiancee ko may gawa niyan!"
I chuckled, like I was the proudest fiancee in the world. Hanggang sa hindi siya nagsalita. Natahimik, walang masabi. My laugh slowly vanished into thin air. Unti-unti ring nahulog ang kamay ko sa gilid.
Nilingon ko siya. I couldn't seem to read what was playing inside his head. Nakauwang lang ang bibig niya. Nakakatig sa frame ng bungalow. He seemed surprised, pero sana, dahil sa positibong dahilan 'yon. At sana rin, nagkakamali lang ako nang makita ko ang pagdaplis ng sakit sa mga mata niya.
I blinked multiple times and averted my eyes away. Muli kong hinarap ang papalubog na araw. Nanatili siyang tikom, hindi rin makagalaw. Huminga ako nang malalim at naupo sa damuhan.
"Noong high school pa lang kami... pangarap na niyang tumira sa ganitong lugar. Payapa. Walang polution. Hindi civilized. At higit sa lahat..." I smiled. "Tanaw ang sunrise."
Doon lang siya nagbaling ng atensyon sa 'kin. Naupo rin siya sa tabi ko. 'Di man lang ako nagawang tapunan ng tingin, basta na lang inabot ang isang bote ng tubig. Inside my head, I thanked him. Secretly.
"Sunrise symbolizes hope, sabi niya. Naniniwala rin ako. Kaya naman todo suporta ako nang sinabi niyang... ito ang gusto niya." I've seen him gulped his water. "He wanted to leave his life in Manila. Ayaw niyang manahin ang negosyo nila. He doesn't want to enter politics, too. Gusto niya, malagay sa gan'tong buhay. Pangarap niya 'to... namin. Gusto niyang sa ganitong lugar kami tumira..." I looked at him, nasa araw pa rin ang mga mata niya. "At bumuo ng pamilya."
His Adam's apple moved. Muling nilagok ang tubig. I hate how his eyes were filled with despair. I could see the reflection of sunset through his hazelnut eyes. Like he could see chaos from the falling of the sun below the horizon. Like what he's watching at wasn't solely the setting of the sun but the devastation from the threatening storm.
Unti-unti ko ring binuksan ang bottled water, mapait na nilingon ang lumulubog na araw.
"Kaso—"
"Na-comatose siya," siya ang tumapos sa pangungusap. He looked at me, he smiled. "Kung hindi nangyari 'yon sa kaniya... Siguro, kasal na kayong dalawa."
Umiling ako. "Kung hindi nangyari 'yon sa kaniya, hindi mapapaaga ang uwi ko rito sa Maynila. I will stay in Seoul for one more month at uuwi lang ng March. At kung 'di nangyari 'yon, babalik din ako kaagad ng June. I will continue my life in Seoul for the next two years. Doon pa lang kami magpapakasal."
"Planadong-planado ah." He grinned.
"Hindi naman kasi p'wedeng go with the flow lang palagi. We need concrete plans and certain directions. Kaso..." Napalagok ako sa tubig. I wiped my lips with the back of my palm. "Na-realize ko, hindi pala sapat 'yon."
From my peripheral, I could see him staring at me. Pinapanood niya ang bawat ekspresyon ko. Nakikinig siya. Like before. Kahit alam kong hindi na kami tulad ng dati. Masaya pa rin ako. Masaya na ako rito.
"Drawing up a clear plan will not preclude the adverse circumstances like getting lost," I said. "You can still be off the track once you failed to foresee the stumbling blocks that might get in the way."
"Right." He averted his gaze away. "There are a lot of stumbling blocks that will leave you with no choice but to steer at the opposite direction. Pero kung tatanungin kita..." Sabay kaming napatingin sa isa't isa. At sa mga sandaling 'yon, ramdam ko ang pag-indak ng puso ko. "Mas gugustuhin mo bang lumiko sa ibang direksyon kaysa... lampasan 'yung mga balakid at magpatuloy?"
I just couldn't take my eyes off of his. Gano'n din siya. He was staring deeply to my eyes like he was able to get through my soul. Sa mga oras na 'yon, bilib ako sa sarili ko. I never knew that I could equal someone's intensed stare like this. Mas lalo kong na-appreciate ang kulay kastanyas na mga mata niya. At pakiramdam ko, habang tumatagal, mas nakikilala ko kung sino siya. Ang tunay na Jehoram Gustavo sa likod ng sutana, sa likod ng nakakalunod na mga titig, at sa likod ng magagandang ngiti.
And he was all good.
Gumawa ng maingay na kalabog ang puso ko— halatang nabulabog dahil sa kung anu-anong naiisip ko. Napalunok ako, mabilis na nag-iwas ng tingin.
"I think..." Muli kong nilagok ang tubig. "The second option is more worth it..."
Tama. I should stick to that. Alam kong ang pinakamagandang bagay sa mundo, mahirap makuha. And that was a future with Levi. I knew my direction, I shouldn't get lost. Hindi porque maraming sagabal, lilihis na ako ng daan.
Jehoram stood up, napaangat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. He was smiling at me. Sa puntong 'yon, napangiti rin ako. That was the smile I was looking for.
"Piliin mo kung saan ka magiging masaya." He extended his hand, offering a help para makatayo ako.
I smiled and accepted his hand. "Saan ka pupunta?"
Mabilis niya 'kong binitiwan. He was still smiling, and how I wish I could see that forever.
"May tutuparin lang na pangako..." Pumihit na kaagad siya paalis, leaving me with no chance para magtanong.
He really loved dazing me out! Nakakainis! Palagi niya na lang dinadagdagan ang mga iniisip ko!
Laking pasasalamat ko dahil 'di na nag-usisa sina Chelzie. I was completely aware na nakita nila si Jehoram. Mabuti na lang. Habang pababa kami ng bundok, ang bungalow ni Levi ang pinag-uusapan nila.
"Hindi pa marupok 'yung mga kahoy. We can still continue its construction basta may mga sapat na materials. Kaso, mukhang mahihirapan tayong iakyat ang mga 'yon dito. Paano nakaya ng mga tauhan ni Levi 'yon?" Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang hindi pagtawag ni Bailey ng Kuya kay Levi.
"Ano bang plano mo, Blaire? Itutuloy mo?"
I shrugged. "Depende. Gusto ko munang makita ang blueprint. Hindi mo ba natatandaan kung anong itsura no'n?"
She rolled her eyes. "Sa dami ng ginawa kong blueprint, sa tingin mo maaalala ko pa? That was way back in college pa!"
"And I think ayaw ng fiancee mo na may ibang engineer na gagalaw. Si Engr. Alcazar lang ang trusted engineer niya. And he's in Paris. Tingin mo, mapapapunta natin siya rito?"
Agad nakatanggap ng pambabatok si Bailey. "Are you nuts? One of the highest paid engineers, papaliparin mo para lang gumawa ng isang bungalow?"
"Bakit hindi? He's Ate Faye's ex!"
"Exactly!"
"Nagbibilang ka ba ng tama? Last year lang pinagawa ni Levi 'yan. And they already broke up two years ago! Wala nang kaso 'yon kay Engineer! Palibhasa, 'di mo alam 'yung professionalism."
"Wow! Ako pa? For your information, malapit na 'kong magkaro'n ng bigger projects! Baka magulat ka na lang, pangalawa na lang sa pinakamataas na building sa mundo ang Burj Khalifa!"
Nag-uumpisa na naman silang magtalo. Like the usual, pinili kong dumistansya. Nakakairita na nga ang boses ni Chelzie, mas nakakairita pa kapag may kaaway siya. Kung ako kay Bailey, 'di na lang ako papatol. For the sake of peace.
Natigil lang sila nang unti-unting pumatak ang ulan. Napapikit kaagad ako. Kung minamalas nga naman. We left the umbrella sa sasakyan ko!
Bailey immediately pulled us to the nearest tree. Malalapad ang mga dahon pero 'di pa rin sapat. Nababasa pa rin kami. Chelzie was expectedly making a fuss again, nakikipagsabayan pa sa ingay ng ulan.
"Si Kuya Jehoram ba 'yon?"
Napalingon kaagad ako sa direksyong tinuro ni Bailey. Natahimik si Chelzie. Pati ako, natigilan.
Iisa lang ang pinapanood namin— sila.
Jehoram was holding a pink umbrella. Sa ilalim no'n, nakasilong siya at ang isang babae. He was protecting her shoulders with his massive arm, malawak ang ngiti— gaya ng gustong-gusto kong makita sa kaniya.
The girl laughed, natalsikan kasi ang suot niyang blouse ng tubig ulan. Hindi naman kasi kalakihan ang payong, pinagsisiksikan lang nila ang mga sarili nila.
I didn't have to lie. Parang tinutusok ng punyal ang puso ko habang nakatingin sa kanila, sa nakatawang mukha ni Jehoram. I've never seen him that happy. The way he looked at her— that was million ways different.
"Blaire..."
Maybe he was in love with her. Baka 'yon ang tinutukoy niyang pangako. Pangako na kailangan niyang tuparin. Pangako na babalik siya sa kaniya matapos ang pag-uusap namin. All this time, he was owned by someone else.
My heart clenched.
I was a complete thickhead to think that we were both in a state of chaos. Because the truth was, he's all happy in love and contented with the girl of his life and I was the only one who's facing a no-win dilemma.
***
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Philippians 1:29 |457Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwawg60wSc3
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Your pain has a purpose.
