Leche flan
The cold breeze of Seoul touched the warmth of my skin, tousling my hair, and rustling the leaves of the oaks. One of the nicest thing sitting alone in this open-air gallery is how the cold night air filled my heart with so much chills, ceasing the burning despondency and longing in my aching heart.
Nagsalin ako ng Premium Soju sa kopita. Bigla namang nagring ang cellphone ko. Without looking at the caller's name, I pressed the answer button, expecting who it was.
"Hey." His deep toned voice barged in my ear. "Kamusta? You now prepped up?"
"Yup. Katatapos lang. Sinong susundo sa 'kin bukas?"
"May appointment ako sa mga Donovan e. I'll leave early and probably attend another meeting after. Bakit ba kasi ang aga ng arrival mo? Atat na atat umuwi?"
"Just tell me kung may susundo ba o wala para ngayon pa lang alam ko na kung magbobook ako ng sasakyan. I don't like wasting time."
"Chill!" He laughed. "Let me check my schedule kay Maggie first, okay? But to tell you frankly, pinagbabantaan ni Chelzie ang mga buhay namin. Siya raw dapat ang sasalubong sa 'yo sa NAIA. What do you think? Connect kita sa kaniya?"
I've thought about the idea. Gusto ko sanang may sumundo sa akin. Wala kasi ako sa mood mag-Taxi. But then, if it will just ruin their sched, 'wag na lang siguro. Lalo na kung si Chelzie. Napaka-nagger pa naman no'n. Hindi pwedeng walang kapalit lahat ng pabor sa kaniya. Give and take relationship— that's how she called it.
"'Di ba may presentation siya bukas sa Burton?"
"Yup. Pero mauuna ng tatlong oras ang arrival mo. Teka, gaano ba karami 'yung dala mo?"
"One luggage and a travel bag. 'Di ko naman iuuwi lahat ng gamit ko diyan kung 'yun ang concern mo."
Unless they threw my things out nang malaman ni Dad ang plano ko. I wouldn't be surprised. Kung nagawa niya kay Kuya noon— na favorite niya— what more sa 'kin? Mabuti na lang at sa telepono pa lang kami nakakapag-usap. It wasn't as if I'll change my mind kapag binugahan niya ako ng apoy mula Barcelona patungong Seoul.
"Of course. Sa dami ng pinangshoshopping mo diyan, baka kulang ang isang eroplano." He chortled.
Umangat ang isa ko'ng kilay. "May I remind you that your oh-so-great fiancee harbored half of clothes?"
"Well—"
"Oh! Of course, oo nga naman! Why would she tell you that she's walking off most of my skimpy dresses? E 'di hindi mo siya pinayagang makipagmeet sa mga client niyang mas young and wild and free?"
"Madison—"
"Oh come on!" Humalakhak ako. "I'm gonna end the call. See you tomorrow, okay? And please? Wag mo nang awayin si Chelzie. I don't have time to comfort her pag-uwi ko," natatawang sabi ko sabay patay ng tawag.
Huminga ako nang malalim at sumimsim sa kopita. I let my tongue savoured the liquor's sweet flavor habang naglalaro ang mga mata ko sa city lights.
Seoul was indeed a vibrant city. Mula sa kina-uupuan ko, tanaw na tanaw ang maliliwanag na ilaw mula sa mga establisyemento ng Myeong-Dong— isang commercial district sa Seoul kung saan matatagpuan ang mga world-class na fashion boutiques, malalaking department stores, street stalls, at mga retail outlets. Sa hindi kalayuan, tanaw rin ang tuktok ng gothic-style bell tower ng Myeong-Dong cathedral. I could still remember the first time I went there, ang lakas maka-19th century vibe ng lugar. Doon ko rin nakilala ang mga kaibigan ko rito. Since then, Myeong-Dong has been the center of our night life. Kung 'di man, sa mga upper-class bistros ng Itaewon.
I pursed out my lips. Hindi ko pa pala sila nasasabihan tungkol sa pag-uwi ko. Knowing them, papangaralan lang nila 'ko. I don't want to risk it. Hindi na magbabago ang desisyon ko. Uuwi na talaga ako. Alam ko naman talaga na kailangan kong umuwi ngayong taon para sa graduation ng kapatid ko. Hindi nga lang siguro sa gan'tong rason. Guess life really has a lot of surprises, huh?
Sumandal ako at kinagat ang daliri, pinapanood ang pag-uunahan ng mga butil ng pawis na tumutulo sa bote ng wine.
"Bailey," pagsagot ko sa pangalawang tawag.
"Your line's busy. Pinagalitan ka ni Dad?"
"Nope. Nangulit si Kuya. Can you pick me up tomorrow?"
"Are you telling me to go with that witch?"
I laughed. Hindi pa rin sila magkasundo ni Chelzie.
"Just tell her na ikaw na lang pupunta sa NAIA. Sa ngalan ng peace of mind ni Kuya at sa peace of mind ko na rin. I don't want his fiancee to nag about this little favor for my whole life. Isusumbat niya lang sa 'kin 'to when things go wrong."
The cold night air stroke my hair for the nth time- isa sa mga bagay na ma-mimiss ko 'pag uwi ng Pinas. Kung pwede lang, babaunin ko ang hangin ng Seoul at ipasalubong ko sa future sister-in-law ko. She was real desperate na makapunta rito, palaging kinukulit si Kuya.
"As if you don't know her, Ate. Nung isang araw pa 'yon nagpaparinig. Kakalbuhin niya raw magsusundo sa 'yo 'pag hindi siya."
I wagged my head in disbelief. "OA talaga..."
"Anyway, sigurado ka na ba rito? You know... si Dad."
Narinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto mula sa kabilang linya. He was probably in his room.
I was fully aware that my Daddy loathed the idea. Ayaw niya akong umuwi muna sa Pinas. He's planning to send an investor galing Germany. He could't understand. Say, he refused to. Ako raw ba ang doktor ni Levi kaya kailangang nando'n din ako? Lahat na ata ng masasakit na salita, narinig ko na sa telepono. He can't just stop me. He'll never understand how it feels.
Kahit si Kuya naman. Alam kong wala lang talaga siyang magawa. Napaka-business oriented din ng isang 'yon. Akala ba niya hindi ko alam na siya ang nagsabi kay Dad tungkol sa plano ko? Nagsumbong sa 'kin si Bailey. I hate how traitor our brother is sa ngalan ng negosyo.
"I'm serious, Blaire. Dad will get mad. Alam mo namang ayaw na ayaw no'n na napapahiya sa mga investor niya, 'di ba? Please... Stay for another month? We can take good care of your sick fiancé here and I promise to update you from time to time," pakiusap ni Kuya nang sinabi ko sa kaniya ang pag-uwi ko. Update my ass. I can't bear another month. Another month of torture ang hinihingi niya kung gano'n.
"Thanks sa concern, Bail. But I can handle Dad. Tsaka na kami mag-uusap pag-uwi niya ng Pinas this March. I promise not to ruin your celebration," pagbalik ko kay Bailey.
"I hope Kuya already told you the possibilities with Dad. Kung umuwi man siyang galit sa 'yo, I offer you Chelzie's unit."
Natawa na naman ako. "Ikaw talaga ang nag-ooffer niyan? At bakit naman kay Chelzie?"
He groaned. "I don't want her to pest around here more often kapag nakauwi ka na. Well, just in case lang naman na awayin ka ni Dad. It will benefit everyone. What you think?"
As if on cue, nakarinig ako ng ingay mula sa kabilang linya. Mga nagsisigawan. I was familiar with that noise. Isang boses ng nagtitimpi at isang boses ng babaeng nagpapalusot. Naroon din ang mga boses na humahalakhak at boses ng nga sumasaway. Napangiti ako. Something that I couldn't replace with the snow. The familiarity. The warmth.
"Speaking of the witch," tunog iritadong ani Bailey.
After I finished my BSBA course with Human Resource Development as the major, lumipad na agad ako patungong South Korea. My family owned an upscale fashion line. Its GHQ were in Philippines, si Kuya ang namamahala. Ako naman ang naatasang magmanage ng modeling agency sa Seoul— recruitment, training, career planning and such. Noon pa man, 'yon na talaga ang plano namin. Tutulong ako sa negosyo ng pamilya. That time, stable na ang relationship ko kay Levi— three years na rin kami noon. I thought it would be hard to please him and make him compromise in a long distance relationship pero mabuti na lang, naunawaan niya.
"Our love for each other is way stronger and had reached farther than the distance that may seperate us. And besides, I trust you," aniya matapos ko'ng sabihin sa kaniya ang plano ko'ng pagluwas sa Korea para sa negosyo.
Isang linggo bago ako magtungong Seoul, nagpropose sa akin si Levi. We were planning to tie the know once I came back. Gusto ko rin kasi sanang sa Pilipinas magpakasal. A church wedding indeed.
Of course, it was hard but everything went smooth for the both of us. Araw-araw kaming nag-uusap at nagkakamustahan. Sinisiguro namin na wala kaming namimiss na pangyayari sa buhay ng isa't isa. Kaya nga hindi ako naniniwalang nakakasira ng relasyon ang distansya. It won't if both of your hearts will remain in one place. Pero kung kasabay ng pag-alis ng isa ay ang pag-alis rin ng puso niya? Malabo talaga na panatilihing matatag ang LDR. Still, posible pa rin. Proven and tested. Levi and I can testify. We're the living proof.
Everything was almost perfect. Almost. Matibay ang relasyon namin. Suportado kami ng mga kaibigan at pamilya namin. Well, aside from his Lola. Yet, as long as she wasn't doing anything stupid, I considered her harmless. But when I thought everything was fine, a terrifying news bombarded me days ago. He was in a state of comatose. Bigla na lang daw siyang inatake habang nasa high-end club. They informed me too late. Magdadalawang Linggo na pala siyang coma nang sinabi nila sa 'kin.
He was four years old when he was diagnosed with heart cancer. Hereditary. Parehong sakit na kumuha sa buhay ni tito Gabby, tatay niya. And yes, I was aware of it. Paanong hindi? 'E literal na sabay na kaming lumaki.
The thought of him, lying on a hospital bed was heart shattering. If only I could replace him and take away all the pain he was dealing with, I was more than willing to sacrifice myself. I was so in love with him that I didn't mind putting my life on the line if embracing demise means setting his heart free from death's tight grip.
It was 8 pm when Bailey hang up. Ginamit niyang excuse ang pagtawag ko para hindi makasama sa hapag sina Chelzie. After few hours, I woke up with my head throbbing big time! Right, after few hours. I had to wake up early so I could catch my flight to Philippines. Nakatulugan ko na ang pag-inom. Alam ko namang posible kong pagsisihan 'yon pero hindi ko talaga mapigilan. Napasimangot ako. I'm going to miss that when I go back to Manila.
The thought of returning to my home town for an awful reason awakened me. Hindi ito ang inaasahan kong mangyayari sa pag-uwi ko. I thought I'll come home with pompoms and banners waiting for me. Ganoon kasi si Levi noong umuwi si Ate Faye galing Canada. I didn't expect na malungkot akong uuwi at si Levi na nakaratay sa ospital ang sasalubong sa akin.
The flight duration from Seoul to Manila was 4 hours. As I stepped out of the plane, I was welcomed by the familiar warmth of the place where I grew up. I suddenly missed Filipino cuisine. Noon ay madalas kaming ipagluto ni manang Beth ng Adobo. Nang dumating ako sa Korea, bihira na lang ako kumain ng rice. Madalas, Japchae at Kimchi.
Despite the heavy heart, 'di ko pa rin maitago ang galak ko. Yes, I enjoyed my two years in the cold nature of Seoul. Pero hindi ko ipagpapalit ang warmth na nararamdaman ko kapag nasa Pinas ako. Upon seeing familiar complexions, I could't hide my excitement anymore.
"Blaireeeeey!"
A girl in a floral off-shoulder blouse which she tucked inside a ripped dark blue jeans, ran towards me and closed the space between us with a tight hug.
"Kainis talaga ang mga kapatid mo! Sabi ko dapat surprise 'to e! Bakit nila sinabing susunduin kita? Pambihira!"
"I told them na ayaw kong magpasundo sa 'yo."
Salubong ang mga kilay niya nang kumalas sa yakap. "Ah gano'n? Ayaw mong sunduin kita? Pagkatapos kong ilaan ang oras ko rito kahit na dapat naghahanda ako para sa presentation!"
"See? Naghahanap ka lang ng bagong isusumbat."
Natawa siya at muli akong niyakap. "Sinasabi ko lang! It's not like that, Blairey. I just really really missed you. 'Yung Kuya mo kasi..." Muli siyang lumayo sa akin, nakanguso. "Ayaw niya kong payagang pumunta sa 'yo. He's afraid I might disturb you at work. Napaka-OA..."
I rolled my eyes. "Ayaw lang no'n na malayo ka. Dad won't allow him to take a leave. Para namang papayagan ka no'ng umalis mag-isa."
Not after he heard her undying penchant for Koreans. Baka kapag niyaya 'tong magpakasal ng Koreanong may eyeliner, itapon niya na lang sa mukha ni Kuya ang engagement ring nila.
"Right. Hindi ko rin naman makikila mga Korean boyfriends mo 'pag busy ka."
"And you really think Kuya will let you see them? Matapos niyang lasunin ang utak ni Levi?"
She's been asking about my Korean boyfriends since the day I introduced them to her. Nagkataon kasi na nasa isang party ako sa condo ng kaibigan ko'ng Koreana nang tumawag siya upang mangamusta. She's in awe when she saw them. Marami daw hot papas. Nang malaman ni Kuya 'yon, kay Levi siya dumeretso. He told him to stop me from going out with my male friends.
"Wala naman siyang magagawa! Hindi ko nga siya pinagbabawalang makipagkita kay Maggie na kulang na lang maghubad sa harap niya!"
I frowned. "Selosa ka lang talaga. Kung hindi si Ate Faye, si Maggie. Hindi na nawala 'yang issues mo sa mga babae ni Kuya, ano?"
"Exactly! Sa mga babae ng Kuya mo!"
Inirapan ko siya at binalingan ang mga bagahe ko, sumunod naman siya at tinulungan din ako.
"'E 'di maghanap ka rin ng lalaki mo. Para fair. 'Wag mo lang akong idadamay 'pag nag-away kayo, ha?"
She chuckled. Kinuha niya ang travel bag ko at malapad na ngumisi.
"Kaya nga ipakilala mo na ko 'kay Mr. Ash. Malay mo, magbago isip ko. Wala pa namang date ang kasal namin ni Zuriel-" Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata, humalakhak siya. "Why? Ikaw pa rin naman ang maid of honor!"
Hindi ko mapigilang batukan siya. "Sira ka talaga!"
Yumugyog ang balikat niya sa sobrang galak. Kaunti na lang maniniwala na 'ko kay Bailey. He always assumed na kinulam ni Chelzie si Kuya. Sobrang magkabaliktaran kasi talaga ng personality nila. Masungit si Kuya, maharot si Chelzie. Opposite attracts nga talaga siguro.
"I'm just kidding. Kahit ubod ng sungit ang Kuya mo, surebells na 'ko do'n no! 'Wag lang talaga siyang magkamali na umibabaw kay Maggie, 'naku..."
"Hindi niya tipo 'yon..."
"Ako tipo niya?" She waggled her brows.
Ngumiwi ako sa kaniya at inagaw ang bag ko. Humagalpak ulit siya sa tawa, hinigpitan ang hawak sa bag ko na akala mo may ginto akong tinatago ro'n.
"Joke lang! I just really missed talking to you kahit minsan, wala kang kwentang kausap." Di ko siya pinansin. Binalingan ko ang lalaking pabalik-pabalik para kuhain ang mga bagahe ko. "Anyway, buti na lang naisip mong bumalik, ano? Kun 'di dahil kay Levi, wala ka pa atang balak umuwi."
Nanatili siyang nakatawa ngunit nang mapansing hindi nagbago ang ekspresyon ko ay tumigil siya at nag-angat ng kilay.
Ngumiti ako. "Hindi rin. Plano ko rin naman talagang umuwi this March para sa graduation ni Bailey. I just didn't expect to come home this early. Well..." I shrugged, ngumiti din siya. "Not at least in a least expected cause."
Her smile vanished, nanatili ang ngisi ko.
She pouted. "Blaire naman... Pwede bang sa ibang araw na lang natin pag-usapan? Ang dami ko'ng gustong gawin kasama ka. Can't wait for me to finish the presentation?"
"Marami naman tayong oras, Chelz. I just really can't feel any keenness to enjoy. Hindi ko ata kayang magsaya habang nakaratay do'n ang fiancee ko."
My jaw clenched when I remembered the photo she sent yesterday. Litrato ni Levi sa ospital habang nakaratay sa kama at may nakakabit na maraming machines.
Pinagmasdan ko ulit ang isang lalaki na medyo may katandaan at nakasuot ng polong puti. Bumalik siya at kinuhang muli ang luggage ko para ipasok sa puting Chevrolet. Akala ko kasi sapat na ang isang luggage. Na-realize ko na marami pala ako'ng gamit na hindi ko pwedeng iwan sa Seoul.
"New family driver. Wala na 'yung dati 'e. Your mom fired him after he bumped her beloved BMW sa Makati."
"Talaga?"
Parang wala namang balita na nakarating sa 'kin. Somehow, I feel so bad for missing almost everything here while I'm away.
"Sobra! Halos mapatay niya na sa galit 'yung dating driver niyo. She even paid him trice of his anual salary para umuwi ng probinsya at hindi na magpakita ulit. Kaya pag uwi mo, wag ka magugulat, ha? You'll see a lot of unfamiliar faces. Wala na ring nakaaligid na butler sa kanila ni Bailey. She'd rather sacrifice her safety than to be stressed over her men." paliwanag niya. "Hindi mo ba talaga alam?"
Umiling ako. "Hindi 'e..."
"Well, you really need to catch up, Blaire." Naglakad siya palapit sa sasakyan.
Sumunod naman ako sa kaniya dala ang shoulder bag ko. "I'll do that after everything. Besides, I'll be staying for good naman. I got forever in my hand to catch up," I reasoned out. "Daan tayong supermarket? I'll buy something for Tita Martha. Nando'n kaya siya ngayon? We haven't talked yet."
Tumigil naman siya sa paglalakad at nilingon ako. With her furrowed brows, sinamaan niya ako ng tingin.
"What are you thinking? You're not going somewhere far from your bed after a four-hour flight, are you? You should rest, you know. Hindi ka naman siguro tatakbuhan ni Levi kapag hindi ka pumunta ngayon."
"I'm not tired. Hindi rin ako makakapagpahinga sa kakaisip. Mas gusto ko pa ngang takasan niya na lang ako sa ospital, at least 'yon, alam kong gising na siya. Kaysa naman gan'ong nakaratay lang siya't walang malay. He needs me there."
"Blah blah blah." She waved her hand. "He needs you, fine. But can't you see? Hindi ako mapalagay sa dark circles sa mga mata mo. I have this urge na tusukin sila at paputukin. Ang pangit mo."
Isang eksaheradang paghinga ang ginawa ko, getting even more tired dahil sa kaniya. Mas sumimangot siya nang lampasan ko.
"You still have your presentation, right? Kailan 'yon?"
"Ngayon na. Uuwi muna ako sa unit for last minute check. Bakit?"
"Good. Do your thing and let me do mine." I heard her groan.
Tinawag ko ang atensyon ng driver na nilalagay sa likod ng sasakyan ang mga gamit. He immediately turned to me and wiped the sweats leaking down his forehead.
"Drop her off sa Carlisle. Tapos deretso tayo sa St. Joseph," I commanded as I stepped my feet inside the Chevrolet. "Can you go to the nearest supermarket? Hindi ko na kasi kayang mamili. I'll give you the list later, pakidala na lang sa ospital."
"Okay po."
Chelzie stomped her feet in the car and sat beside me. Bahagyang umalog ang sasakyan sa mabibigat niyang yapak. Napanganga pa ako nang ihagis niya na lang nang basta sa likuran ang travel bag, mabuti na lang at walang kahit na anong babasagin doon.
"Blairey! Don't be such a freaking hard headed bitch this time, will you? Zuriel told me to send you home and tuck you to bed! Kailan pa naging tahanan ang hospital?"
"Malapit na. I'm actually planning to transfer some of my clothes and necessary things there."
"Goodness gracious! Kayong magkakapatid! Alam mo, tatanda ako ng sampung taon sa inyo!"
Naunahan ng paghikab ang dapat na pag-irap ko. Simula kasi ata ng umalis ako, si Bailey na lang ang palaging naiiwan sa bahay. And the bored kitten loved to visit the house kaya sila ang madalas na nagpapang-abot. Asar sila sa isa't isa dahil maingay si Chelzie at suplado naman si Bailey. Nagmumukha daw siyang babysitter ng kapatid ko. Ewan ko ba. May condo unit naman siya pero mas gusto niyang makigulo sa bahay namin kapag walang magawa. Kung ako 'yon, I'd rather cage myself inside my room and shut up. Hindi rin kasi talaga mapakali ang babaeng 'to.
As soon as the luggages are finally inside the Chevrolet, manong I-don't-know-who closed the door and made his way to the driver's seat. Umalog ang likuran ko nang padabog na sumandal si Chelzie, pinagkrus pa ang mga maliliit niyang braso.
"Come on, bringing your things to the hospital means you believed that Levi will stay there longer."
There. I heaved out a deep sigh as I leaned my back comfortably.
"Whatever."
At the end, Chelzie won. Doon ko lang naramdaman ang pagod. Kahit na puro upo at tulog lang naman ang ginawa ko buong byahe, my head felt so heavy and exhausted.
"Pupunta pa po ba akong supermarket, Ma'am?" tanong ng matanda.
Pinagmasdan ko siya. He doesn't look like a typical lonesome old man. Ang gaan ng aura niya at mukha siyang friendly. Palaging nakangiti. He might have a lot of deep furrows on his skin, halata pa rin ang pagiging magandang lalaki niya noong kabataan.
"I'll just ask one of the maids to run an errand for me. Take the time to slack-off." I smiled before turning my back.
"Blaire, my dear!" My mom, wearing her normal office attire, went out of the dining hall and pulled me into hug. "I missed you so much, darling."
Mom was still graceful as usual. Her smooth gestures and distinct styles signify her utmost elegance. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapangiti.
"I missed you too," I sweetly said while caressing her back. "How's Manila?"
"Kayong dalawa ng Dad mo! Mas concern pa kayo palagi sa ibang bagay! Nakakatampo na ha."
I saw her lips protruded as she let me go from her arms.
Natawa ako. Gusto ko sanang itanong kung kailan ang eksaktong uwi ni Daddy pero baka magselos si Mommy at isiping ayaw ko talaga siyang kamustahin. So to cut her sentiments, I asked her about the few things I missed here simula nang umalis ako.
She smiled and motioned me to follow her in the kitchen. Naupo ako sa dining chair across to her. I couldn't help but to explore my eyes around the hall- with amusement in them! They did a huge renovation! Lumawak ito at mas naging maluwag kumpara noon. The kitchen tools and equipments weren't the same anymore. Pati ang pader na kulay itim noon, kulay cream na ngayon. The wooden floor before turned to a shiny black marmol. Was there anything here that haven't change aside from Manila's displeasing traffic?
"We're beyond fine, Blaire. Zuriel is very dedicated. Well, what do you expect? Talagang gustong gusto no'n ang Alta Luna noon pa man. Si Bailey naman..." She stirred her coffee. "Do you know that he's the valedictorian of their batch?"
I was caught off guard. I know he remarkably excels in his studies. Matalino siyang bata. No doubt he can make it but... I never knew he really did make it! Napakagat ako sa labi ko.
It seemed to be a sharp dagger whipping my heart, paunti-unti, nangongonsensya.
Chelzie's right.
I really need to catch up.
"Well..."
She nodded and sipped a little on her coffee. "Sa March na ang graduation ng kapatid mo, Blaire. And he's hoping you to be there-"
"Of course! Bakit naman hindi? I'll be there for sure! Hinding hindi ko po 'yon palalampasin, My. Even a simple glimpse won't do. I want to be there from the beginning 'til the end of the program." I nodded gracefully. "I surely will."
Mahina siyang tumawa. "Yes, you should, hija. And your Dad's going home also. I bet Bailey's graduation is a very perfect day for our family. Makukumpleto rin tayo sa wakas."
I could see how excited she was, kahit ako. I smiled sweetly, temporarily disregarding the other issues I have to deal with.
Dalawang taon.
Dalawang taon lang naman akong nawala pero parang ang dami ko'ng na-miss. Ang daming nagbago. Ang daming nangyari.
I couldn't help but to feel quite guilty. Sa dalawang taon na nasa Seoul ako, kung hindi man ako busy sa negosyo, nilalaan ko ang mga natitirang oras ko para kay Levi. I was more like concern on how his days passed, sa mga achievements niya, sa mga paghihirap niya. Halos lahat patungkol kay Levi. Ni hindi ko na nakakausap si Bailey tungkol sa research paper niya, si Chelzie tungkol sa mga bagong projects niya, si Kuya... well si Kuya. Wala namang bago sa kaniya. Kahit hindi ko tanungin, alam ko'ng busy siya- sa negosyo as usual.
I shouldn't blame Levi, of course. I love him. It was normal for me to spare him my time. But the thing was, I could've been made it more balance between him and my family. Wala na akong masyadong alam sa mga nangyayari sa kanila. Without notice, I was slowly drifting away from them.
'Di bale. I am back. It was never too late.
It was early six in the morning when I woke up. I was still sleepy and God knows how much I wanted to stay in bed longer like I usually do. Pero kailangan ko ng mag-ayos. Kahapon ko pa gustong bisitahin si Levi para matignan mismo ang lagay niya. Kung hindi lang umepal si Chelzie, nasunod sana ang totoong plano ko.
"Where are they?"
Naabutan ko ang isang kasambahay na naghahain ng almusal sa lamesa. Ako pa lang ang nandoon. I was quite expecting na makakasama ko si Bailey at Kuya. Pati si Mommy. Tulog pa siguro.
"Si Ma'am Leira po... Umalis siya kaninang alas sinko, Ma'am. Hindi na raw po siya nakapagpaalam kasi ayaw niyang maistorbo kayo. Sina sir Zuriel naman po at sir Bailey, tulog pa."
I just nodded at her and sat comfortably on the dining chair. Sayang. Excited pa naman akong makausap sina Bailey. But I don't want to disturb them from their fairytales. 'Di bale. Maybe I can get to see them later.
Matapos kumain ay dumeretso na ako sa garahe. Bigla akong nanibago. Bukod sa nag-iba ang environment, hindi na rin familiar ang mga mukhang nakikita ko. Mom really did fire most of the old maids, huh?
"Manong, I have to go. Whose car is availabe?"
Gulat niya akong nilingon. Naabutan ko siyang pinapaliguan ang mga halaman.
"Naku, Ma'am! Dala po ni Miss Leira yung Chevrolet ngayon 'e. Nasa carwash naman po 'yung sasakyan na pinanghahatid kay sir Bailey. Iyong kay Sir Zuriel lang po ang available."
"Gano'n ba? Sige, I'll use his car then. Ang susi?"
"Iniwan po niya kay Tonyo. Pero Ma'am, mas okay po siguro na kausapin po muna ninyo si sir. Baka po kasi gamitin niya 'yan mamaya pagpasok sa kumpanya."
I creased my forehead. "Mga anong oras kaya sa tingin mo?"
"Mga 8 po siya, Ma'am, madalas umaalis. Minsan po mas maaga pa. Depende, Ma'am."
I sighed, no choice. "Okay, just call for Taxi or grab any instead. Sabihin mo sa St. Joseph's."
"Sige po! Tawagin ko lang po si Natoy para-"
"Tay!"
Sabay kaming napalingon sa pinagmulan ng boses. Standing there was a man in a simple gray shirt and brown khakis. Napaatras ako nang humakbang ang gulat na si Manong.
"Ram, anak!" Binitawan ni Manong ang hawak na hose upang salubungin ang anak na hindi niya kamukha. "Bakit naman hindi ka nagsabi na pupunta ka? Galing ka kay Annie?"
Hindi ako nakakurap. I can't help but to notice his perfect messy hair. His angular and symmetrical jawline, a Greek God pointed nose, and bronze skin tone. His thick eyebrows and long lashes matched his gorgeous deep-set eyes. Iniwasan kong dumapo ang mga mata ko sa labi niyang kahit 'di ko tignan ay alam kong... basta.
I wagged my head like shit dahil kaunti na lang ay iisipin ko nang si Adonis ng 21st Century itong kaharap ko. Sigurado ba si Manong na kaniyang anak 'to? Mukha naman siyang may itsura noong kapanahunan niya pero... Umiling ulit ako. Siguro mana ang anak sa nanay.
"Ma'am Blaire!" panggugulat ni Manong. "Halika po, ipapakilala ko po kayo sa anak ko!"
I'm a big fat liar if I say na nagdalawang isip pa ako. I went closer and directed my stare to the man standing at the gate's threshold. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak nito sa paperbag na may disenyong superman. I gulped when my eyes traced those veins. Normal lang naman ito. Naninibago lang ako dahil walang ganito ang mga kaibigan kong Koreano.
"Anak! Si ma'am Blaire. Naalala mo yung nasa picture do'n sa loob? Yung tinatanong mo sa 'kin kung sino? Siya 'yun..."
I looked up and found him scratching his nape. Kahit tanned ang balat niya ay kitang-kita pa rin ang pamumula ng pisngi niya. Which is so weird. With his hulky body and toned muscles, papasa na siyang black belter. Very masculine. Hindi bagay ang pamulahan.
"Ma'am, ito naman si Jehoram. Alam ko pong hindi halata pero anak ko 'yan. Ang gwapo, di ba?"
"Tay!"
"Sige na, Nak! Kunwari ka pa! Totoo naman 'e. Bago pa isipin ni Ma'am na 'di tayo magkamukha, unahan na natin. 'Di ba, Ma'am?"
Bumaling ako kay Manong na nakangisi sa 'kin. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Gwapo naman talaga ang anak niya. May boyfriend ako'ng tao pero malinaw pa rin naman ang mga mata ko. Busog na busog na nga ang mga ito sa gwapo mula UP hanggang Seoul. Sa mga barkada pa lang ni Levi at- o sige na- sa mga kapatid ko. Pero siyempre, I won't give them the satisfaction. Kay Levi ko lang aaminin 'yon.
"Anyway, I have to go now. Just..." Napakamot ako sa kilay ko. "Feel free to come in? Mga kapatid ko lang nand'yan."
"Naku! Hindi na po! Nakakahiya naman. I just passed by to give these. Gawa po 'to ni Nanay. Naparami po kasi kaya dinala ko na rito kay Tatay," sabi niya sabay abot ng paperbag kay Manong. Sinilip naman niya 'yon at agad lumawak ang ngiti niya.
"Leche flan! Si Sienna talaga," Nakangisi siyang umiling. "Ma'am oh, gusto niyo? Masarap po 'to! May kasamang pagmamahal." I shook my head. "Sige na po, dalhin niyo 'yung iba sa ospital. Baka magka-Diabetes ako kapag sinolo ko 'to."
I smiled "It's okay. Just put it inside. Baka gusto ng mga maids. We're not really fond of sweets."
His expression changed. "Gano'n po? Sayang naman..."
Jehoram laughed softly. My eyes lingered on his dimples. "Hindi 'yan sayang, Tay. Paborito kaya 'yan ni Garette!"
Garette?
I shrugged. I have no time to make acquaintances. Si Levi ang dapat ko'ng asikasuhin. I don't even know why I am stucked here.
"Sige na po. Mauna na ko. Accompany your son, Manong. Magpapatulong na lang ako sa guard house."
"Hindi na, Ma'am! Itong si Jehoram! Alam niya po ang daan papunta sa St. Joseph. Di ba, 'nak? Samahan mo na lang si Ma'am. Wala kasing maghahatid."
"Manong, I'm okay-"
"Okay lang din, Ma'am. Madadaanan ko rin naman 'yon pauwi." Pinalitaw niya na naman 'yong mga dimple niya.
I sighed. Isang bagay na natutunan ko kay Chelzie, time is more important than winning the argument. Ang mga taong tulad niya, dapat hinahayaan na lang sa gusto. 'Di rin naman titigil hangga't hindi nasusunod. So might as well save time and energy para naman may sense ang pagkatalo mo.
"Fine. Suit yourself."
Nilampasan ko siya at hindi na hinintay. Narinig ko ang pagpapaalam niya sa Tatay niya bago siya bumuntot sa 'kin.
"Ma'am!"
In a second, his hulky body is towering me. Medyo na-intimidate ako kaya lumayo ako nang kaunti. Si Kuya lang ang kilala ko'ng nakakatangkad sa akin. Hindi ako sanay na may tinitingala ako. Sila ang nag-aangat ng tingin sa 'kin.
Pero hindi ang isang 'to.
"Bakit po kayo magtataxi? Family driver naman po 'yun si Tatay. Okay lang magpahatid sa kaniya."
"I know," I said, cutting the conversation.
"Pasensya na po kayo kanina ah? Ang kulit ni Tatay. Tsaka yung about dun sa picture..." Napalingon ako. Ayan na naman 'yung weird na pangangamatis ng mukha niya. "Kaya lang naman ako nagtanong kasi..." It seemed like a natural gesture when his hand flew to his nape.
"It's okay. You don't have to explain."
His eyes widened. "Hindi po kita crush ah!"
Natawa ako. I pursed my lips and nodded my head. "I see."
Mas binilisan ko ang paglalakad dahil hindi ako komportableng katabi siya. His height is too much. He's too much. Gusto ko na lang matapos ang mahabang lakaran na 'to at marating ang exit ng village. Umaasa rin kasi ako na maabutan si Tita Martha sa ospital. I have a lot of things to ask and to say. Dapat pa ako'ng magpasalamat dahil siya ang tumulong para payagan ako'ng umuwi.
Things we'll all do for Levi. Kaya hindi talaga pwedeng hindi siya gigising. I disobeyed my Dad para lang makasama siya rito at hintaying gumising. He has to be fair.
"Medyo malayo pa po ang lalakarin natin. Let me keep you entertained," si Jehoram na kapantay ko na naman.
"Why?"
"Mukha kasing malalim iniisip niyo 'e. Sabi ni Nanay, hindi magandang nagpapakalunod sa problema. Kaya kapag may mga taong malalim ang iniisip, dinadaldal ko bago sila malunod."
I shook my head in disbelief. Hindi niya man nakuha ang mukha ng Tatay niya, nakuha niya naman ang pagiging positibo ng aura nito. He looked so optimistic. Parang napakagaan ng buhay para sa kaniya. Hindi siya mukhang stressed. Parang hindi ginigipit ng buhay. He got plenty of time, huh?
"Wala ka bang trabaho?"
He averted his eyes to me, looking so amused. "Interesado ka po?"
Ngumiwi ako. "Nevermind."
He chuckled. "Marami po akong trabaho. Trabaho ko na alagaan kapatid ko. Trabaho ka na tulungan Nanay ko. Trabaho ko'ng siguraduhin na kumakain Tatay ko-"
"Are you saying na hindi siya pinapakain nang maayos sa 'min?"
"Ha? Hindi po! Hindi naman sa gano'n, Ma'am. Pero si Tatay kasi. Puro trabaho. Hindi nagpapahinga. Akala mo naman bumabata ang edad niya. 'Di ko naman masisi kasi wala 'e. Malaki pangangailangan. Kailangan talagang kumayod."
"So nagtatrabaho ka nga?"
He nodded. "Opo. Marami akong sideline diyan sa palengke. Depende kung saan ako kailangan. Ikaw, ma'am? May alam ka ba na pwede kong pasukan?"
Tumango naman ako. "We have a lot of hirings sa-"
"Ay naku, ma'am! Kung sa kumpanya niyo 'yan, wag na. High school lang natapos nito 'e. Malamang hindi qualified. Kung doon nga sa bakery ni Manang Cynthia, kailangan may diploma."
Kumunot ang noo ko. I couldn't help but to feel sad while hearing stories like this. Noong bata ako, akala ko ay sa movies lang may mga ganitong kwento. Sa totoong buhay rin pala. Levi's late grandfather was a senator. Kahit wala na sa position ang mga Gilmore magmula ng mamatay si Mr. Braulio, his family remained closed with many politicians. Balak kasi magpatuloy ng Lola ni Levi after so many years of grieving. I don't know. Basta ang alam ko, ang mga taong 'yon ang nagpamulat sa 'kin na ang mga sitwasyong tulad ng kay Jehoram ay totoo. I hope someday, when Levi woke up, pwede naming ilapit si Jehoram sa kakilala nilang politician na nag-o-offer ng scholarship. That would be a great help.
As soon as we get to the village's passage way, Jehoram immediately called for Taxi and told its driver the hospital's name. Tutal ay same way lang naman, pinasabay ko na rin siya. He insisted to pay but I told him we'll share.
"Sino po bang bibisitahin niyo sa ospital?" tanong ni Jehoram sa kaliwa ko.
"Bibisitahin ko?" He nodded. "My-"
"Ma'am, kakanan po tayo ah? Traffic po pag-ahon dito 'e," the driver said and steered the wheel to the right.
Bigla namang tumunog ang stereo ng sasakyan and it's a natural tendency for me to get lost between the lyrics. Sumandal ako at tinanaw ang mga nadadaanang gusali sa labas ng bintana. I hope Levi will wake up sooner. Sana bago dumating si Daddy. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ang eksaktong uwi niya sa March pero sana naman 'wag muna. I don't need another headache while I'm not yet done dealing with the other one. It's either I'll stress myself out kay Levi or I'll stress myself out sa mga banat ni Daddy. Hindi ko kayang i-handle both.
"Ma'am-"
"Don't." I cut him off when I realized na babanatan niya na naman ako ng pagsagip niya sa mga nalulunod.
He shrugged and rested his back. "Ang sabi rin Nanay, may mga tao rin na ayaw magpasagip kahit umaapaw na ang problema. Sana marunong ka'ng lumangoy, Ma'am. Sayang ang buhay," aniya at pinikit ang mga mata.
Silence reigned over us. I took that as an opportunity to think. I don't know what's waiting for me in the hospital. It was already painful to see him in photos, hindi ko alam kung magagawa ko ba siyang tignan pagdating ko sa ospital. I need Tita Martha there. Sana ay maabutan ko siya. Sinadya ko pa naman na hindi magsabi sa kaniya para i-surprise siya. I know Mom told her na hindi ako pinayagan ni Dad umuwi. Little did she know, sinuway ko si Dad para sa anak niya.
Nakarating kami sa ospital at nagulat ako nang lumabas din si Jehoram. Akala ko ba dederetso na pauwi 'to? Don't tell me he'll walk from here to his home?
Hindi ko na hinintay makaalis ang taxi at umakyat na papasok ng ospital. Jehoram is a grown up man. He can handle himself. Pwede namang ipaderetso niya na ang taxi pauwi sa kanila pero bumaba rin siya. Bahala na siya.
"Ma'am..."
Before I could reach the entrance, I stiffened as I felt a warm and calloused hand enveloped my wrist.
"Kung sino man pong dadalawin niyo, ipagdarasal ko po ang mabilis niyang paggaling."
A warm hand suddenly touched my heart. It was so warm that it managed to melt down the blues in it. I turned my head and looked at him gently. A genuine smile escaped from my lips before I uttered the word "Salamat," and a line of amusement flashed through his hazelnut eyes.
***
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Hebrews 13:2|332Please respect copyright.PENANAk1Dq7BeDRE
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Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.