《赤足的庭院》（2）69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAPsT5zS5s
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRMIeDTgax
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRPDZ3prsR
00369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBFpMRorRS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehGpCy16AA
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt1nZOLDrA
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdr8sHavlah
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eGxzDGOD4
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmPLIvNRw6
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nRTOgdpfG
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldG2K1GlGL
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh93w2bUh7
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsaFBlpQII
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kJQHvl9rF
但那不是指現在。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhMeCVk0Zl
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozeSBDnZqI
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIn402Du0F
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhVWFSbe91
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vET4ohUa2
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwy2A3Yy0a
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3yXkHw6ka
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx3dQJjEJH
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCfa1zpnZY
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyGbDNGU2L
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVzrUC9gJ8
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TI0qnzRRQ
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjKIu2p4Bi
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz1wq3cgQK
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYc2Ssma9T
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAhFhcFULH
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyMNmm8Gxb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABjDpD0KVL
「李靜。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT3Q1T2Xvh
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mLKTyNu0F
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlRhnixFbK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3JibsaQgj
「⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL4I30Xsfl
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0fSw2BwaA
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUSiJWxVg5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJpaeIpM65
「哈⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOz1saxXAu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY27hATdVgU
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrjAmmFFhw
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fArGWikaz
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOzIdzuD0q
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JRL6QAih5
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmDaEs6WJ9
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUbh7TtnZg
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vaYt9M0g9
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3smQWdzypp
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eWYLtfEsc
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtQm1NCkeU
我搖搖頭。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQJsxCRWy9
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uGlv67BWJ
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn4yGa8Vm5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5Si5Qm9t4
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1XeE23YGf
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c8544hROU
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nwA8Pqclh
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4hTCLELXZ
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDACGMVFxs0
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GGI8gwiAc
「是的，所以⋯⋯」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IlQmll7XK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM7E5bPIvb
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1tM9f8CSw
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgCj3zAgzd
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm9QvrzfbI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6c3UEHsvGa
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiwf5dW8qb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWGQSnaplR
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPvCVigtyO
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMrxPG7GOQ
「怎麼可能。」她說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkLgLX1AO9
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XXqJl34om
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nbejw9PjM
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRLs0pzfqD
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CUUMqmfsS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ10t20kotU
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMUD8eiKtp
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ938oCqGo8K
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwMnTKSp5Y
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9UhuGrcV9
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJIyIUjVfy
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY3r0TIg9J
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUET5j7tLfo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXikefxrTG1
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R81Z3of7l
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUoVPEz7AL
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg3rEI1uss
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZbnTKjc1U
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g2oILAplz
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X0iOExtFQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNXSZArhJP
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxxWWmq5e6
00469Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMuCxZot0k
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBleSu24xIQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2xemi7gTl
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0YcraSlaK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4WnaT3uJw
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE1oPMTLvt
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBeEqPRBeB
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbbz6DsCjx
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84dHOC8eke
「嗯，非常美味。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRNbC19Dho
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIlEaxIexT
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw3S6DA2W4
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB33CXuMg1
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7UhtblOux
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UQrgqXLL7
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMlSRNq27N
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡortvLsx3ub
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB59Em6hmrD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu6fSjp8ib
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibnbjxRToC
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxPXGFRHaX
「嗯⋯⋯。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhedJo3mKGf
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUjjT5ulL7
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUtjw4dEw5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA6BqFMnZI
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BNuRwjuhn
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuSsbd4znt
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7oUyHpz4I
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3XsUXwV26
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMle2AZ9emE
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyYSnkmQdT
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpW4cSJzWI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP4WOrBUXD
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj49jaOimwn
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcv4IVyb3O
「什麼？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKIZaJLits
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgIzu4GGZv
她又問了一次。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3aTPUg0lE
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QIFTsLG8X
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT1Qgnd7Sr
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvflKNqQczX
「什麼意思？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf3eRLLhCx
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lLWiC8sJM
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XHNVJSpWF
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIRTnjTEo7
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAUUA296aH
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwtvqUMIRB
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1omqZMt8wS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1EskXLvxZ
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T0peTUy8X
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwwrZ4aaLN
「是嗎？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLI7JuUuVO
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W8XdAOnNV
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePkASmc5Vu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rBiT0xmkT
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Oepa7Dt4
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGXzLt6zPj
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kBHfQBrhr
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXCGXFCwZm
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy4elTG8lS
果然很像。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhx2I13q159
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFyMepXrMf
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRB7Of3i0p
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtyNVtQMPe
那是我第四次的離家出走。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkU9fCEHW2e
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKVTOk5BhH
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaoYHDm7iu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXPMxFzrll
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1U6Xvw9OqS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7dEkzK68F
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H5AtEn0Bo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE7cPhE2Hj
我喜歡文學。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkSW9RjmI2
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfb2EELmPg
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqavd94XxE
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQasu58wtT
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWt5yeBDo3
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUwQhtBq46
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiYcvc0uni
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63jqh7Uwg5
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMpmm3kL7X
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAg7PaCNFJ
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAZdw0VeMu
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rY81KLb7K
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc7237AA9t
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEAQsvhE9h
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpOW8QWmPA
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z6eiq9Qqx
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwzWraeMRl
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0wfrjhcrb
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzjfe9Ou4e
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnu3nzLJx8B
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJW4j4PAZ5W
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJslf8OSlr
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfDyVLPGiI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWXEAomGvs
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe7geuqCCW
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOfpPBe26q
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjkLkM7uUQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCI1WiGDr8e
「嗯，你也是。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3bpnuywFV
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80GMW14k2r
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Rch9uWNlG
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAb8OeUEXNl
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TQ31Y0bkq
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8dEkqGX0K
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ty5tprB3m
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYNXwtxguc
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvoNgZIfU6
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8615RJS1pK
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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