After telling her what happened she must have expected me to break down into utter despair. But I just sat there emotionless, staring at her with a face that would unsettle anyone. I could tell she wanted me to do something, she didn't know how to respond to my lifelessness or my cold expression. But then it hit her that her friend had died, it was just edging its way past my bleakness and into her heart.642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WEcoOnsUf
For the next ten or twenty minutes she sat there in my cubicle crying her eyes out with pure grief. And after her grief loosened it's hold on her the anger and rage took hold. She was furious, she came at me with all of the power of a hurricane. She was dismayed at how I could be fine with her dying, how I could just come to work like nothing was wrong. She yelled to the point that her face started turning blue.
At this point the entire office floor had cued in on the show and so did our manager. She made her way towards us with an anger in her stride, but someone stopped her and told her what was going on. When she got to us she told us to go to her office, then yelled at everyone to get back to work. Once inside her office she and Sarah Got the whole story. Both looked at me with shock when they found out that Jade had been murdered. This new information only made things worse for Sarah, as I knew it would have. Alex, our manager told us that she didn't want to see us for the next week, at the least. When I started to tell her that I was fine to work she hushed me and told me she didn't care how I thought I felt and then ushered us both out of her office and told us that if she saw either of us in the building before next Tuesday we would be suspended for a month.
The elevator ride down to the ground floor was one of the most silent and awkward moments I have ever had, it seemed to take hours to get down the 11 floors. But nothing happened until the decent was finished and we were nearly out of the building. That's when Sarah stopped me and began her barrage of questions. The first questions were the general questions everyone would have asked. The when, how, who, where, questions. She wanted to know when i found out, where she had been killed, where her body was, who had done it. All of which I had the answer to, except for who had killed her, that was one thing I wasn't certain about.
Then came the more difficult questions, the personal questions. She wanted to know why I wasn't sad or mad or anything for that matter. I had no way of answering her, I didn't know why I wasn't feeling anything anymore. I just told her that it was like a switch had just flipped and then... nothing. We sat in the parking lot talking for a couple of hours, a lot of it was me answering questions, and her trying to convince me to go to counselling. In the end Sarah had gotten all of the information i knew, and I wasn't going to therapy. 642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4khgReBME
When I got home nothing felt right. The paint on the walls were, in a way I couldn't explain, duller. Everything in the apartment felt alien and uncomfortable. I walked out of the kitchen area after tossing my keys onto the granite island and sat down on our... My couch. Its brown upholstery rubbed on my arms in an uncomfortable way and the cushions made me ach. I had to stand up, I had to find something to tear my mind away from Sara. I spent what felt like hours wandering around the apartment, going back and forth from the bedroom to the living room and then to the kitchen. I would walk up to the refrigerator. I took hold of the cold steel handle, opened it and just stared inside looking for answers, but the only thing it had to offer was milk and felling of cold reminiscent of the morgue.642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rmX8WJumB
I went to bed. I was tired of feeling nothing, but it wasn't easy laying in an empty bed that had had someone else in it for three years. Even when sleep finally came it gave no relief.642Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QoKGDibP8
