I don't think I've felt so lonely, not having you to talk to everyday and never being able to see your face again. I wish things could be different but I guess we was doomed from the start.
Not being able to talk about your day or mine is strange, we had a routine that was comforting. I felt grounded instead of drifting but now I'm lost.
Sleeping knowing your not around is hard, the constant feeling of missing and no purposes to function. You was keeping me from drowning, keeping me in reality. I hate not being able to just walk around a park holding your hand as we enjoy the scenery. Watching all the dogs run up to us, being wrapped up warm in a chilly day.
I would give anything to be able to just see your face and hear your voice. I don't know what to do with myself. Constantly finding way to fill my dad to stay busy. Just so I don't think about you much, it's very hard to not think about you all the time.
In the dark times you guided me through, you have me light when I couldn't see my way. I tried making you laugh as much as possible. I gave you flowers to brighten your stressful days.
There's a void I'm trying to fill, I can't talk to anyone as they will say "I told you so"
Please forgive me one day.........
All I see is nothing, my life is a empty abyss, there's no one to turn to. The demons start there hunt again and I don't know how to stop. Trying to find the old me that had goals and ambition.
I need to find wbat I lost when I met you, maybe then I can live again and find my way home.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
