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Nyota's POV:
86Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLierzBFd2n
“S-Stop, Nyota! Do you understand what you’re doing? You’ll hurt yourself in the process!” Diione shouted as the spirit realm they locked me in began to shake.
Carefully drawing my own energy into the space around us, I could feel everything as my soul slowly began to eat the things around us. Pain trickled underneath my skin as it started to burn from the feeling of devouring the fused magic that created this place.
The floor beneath my feet began to shake uncontrollably as cracks began forming around us. To use magic in the spirit realm without an anchor is definitely suicide... for the Elders. If this place crumbles by an outside force, those connected to the space can take a deadly hit to their soul.
Sure, I’ll definitely feel horrible but... is it worth it? To possibly kill these men and women just because they’re yanking me around like ragdoll? Even though they’re hindering my job right now... is killing them the only answer I can find? What about the ancient texts I’d snuck out to read when I’d been a child? There’s so much knowledge hidden within my conscience yet it had been buried to protect myself.
Hell, after everything I’ve been through... do I even care?
“I have sacrificed everything... for this ungrateful world. My final job is to prevent a tragedy for us all yet you all decide that now is the time to flaunt your power,” The sigh escaped my lips as once again, that numb feeling began to take over my body.
A necessary defense to do what needs to be done.
“This is my last warning... I suggest you all release the tethers you have on my soul... before I rip yours apart,” As the words left my lips, I felt myself meld with the energy of this place.
One yank... that’s all it takes.
And I’ll be back in my body... with the knowledge that people have died because of me again.
“Nyota... it isn’t possible to let you out because we can’t let Volke kill the kingmaker before she finds her replacement,” Irmos spoke up while the others continued to stay silent.
Wait... what?
“Excuse me?” My voice came out as a whisper, their words barely settling into my head.
They’re refusing to let me out in fear of Volke killing me... while leaving my body vulnerable to outside forces? How long are they planning to keep this up?
“You’re going to leave my body exposed in fear of me dying? How does that make any sense? That psycho king is already killing people in Kreocaea! Which fucking idiot came up with the astral projection plan?!” I yelled out, ignoring the shake of the realm.
The hesitation in their bodies as they took a step away from me was the only thing that held me in check. I could kill them for doing such a thing and leaving me vulnerable. Anything could happen to me, especially with Volke on my ass.
“Nyota, please, calm down. I know it isn’t ideal but we have someone on their way to pick you up, you can put your trust in us. We are the Elders for a reason, right?” Diione tried reasoning with me again, clearly taking note of how things are playing out.
“The Elders? Do you mean the very same people that have to entrust who becomes king to a completely different person? None of you are even capable of making a decision without it ruining someone’s life!” I hissed angrily toward Diione as the face of the woman who had once taken care of me appeared in my head.
They’d made the public believe Cyhena had always been evil but that isn’t true... the Elders had swept her story under the rug. When she’d been sexually assaulted by the Holy Priest of that time, everyone had turned their backs.
I’d watched as the edge of the cliff Cyhena always walked on just crumble. She was falling through an abyss of darkness that I wasn’t capable of erasing. Unfortunately, even though I had been a light in her life... I hadn’t been bright enough to stop her. After Cyhena had realized there was no one willing to help her... the woman I almost considered a mother had left.
With me right by her side, forcing me to see the trials and tribulations of the world even though it had been against the rules. I had still been in training to become the next kingmaker but you would hear no complaints from me. If Cyhena wasn’t at the temple, I would have to rely on myself to hide from the Holy Priest. Everyone had been too afraid of his position to do anything about him.
Until time passed and... I watched her mental decline but it all changed when the world decided to blame Cyhena instead.
They refused to help her, leaving her to rot in the corner of the Holy Priest’s sins that weighed heavy. If something just as tragic were to happen to me... there would be no one to help anymore.
With Cyhena being gone, I’m vulnerable.
They’ve known this for hundreds of years... yet they still continue to do their best to tear me down.
Truly, is there anything wrong with being tired of it all?
“We tried our best in the situations we’re put in...” Diione’s cloaked head looked downward as if telling the lie was hard while looking at me.
I’m sick of it all.
The constant running away in fear of being killed, sacrificing my all in order to save people who don’t even think to say thank you. This world expects me to do my job as a kingmaker and to be grateful for being put in this position.
This selfishness from others is so burdensome, I can understand why Silios refuses to return so vehemently.
“You tried your best in situations that suited you the best, you ignored the livelihood of those around you. Don’t worry though... I think it’s about high time I start acting the same way,”
Yes... maybe it will be easier to learn to love myself if I just... stop.
And show the world what it’s like without a kingmaker.
