I leaned against the car while Inigo hooked the gas pump up to it, the heat feeling unbearable but I cheated with the use of a little magic.
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"I am sorry, I had thought I had recently gotten gas," Inigo grumbled, upset with himself that we had to pull into a gas station. We're only three days in with two more to go.
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Our trip to the Keocaea empire has been a long one but I'm not complaining, it could've been worse. Queen Kremva sent me several text messages in excitement about my visit, wondering what kind of food we'll want when we arrive or if Inigo is still collecting ancient little trinkets. She's a wonderful woman to be around but I can't find myself to be just as enjoyable to be around.
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I've spent a long time being by myself so the few times we talk can be pretty comforting. Kremva can be a reminder of a friend who genuinely enjoys being around me. That I'm not as bad of a person to be around despite what my mind tells me.
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"It's fine, Inigo. We would've had to have stopped anyways. Norwich is the nearest town it's three hours away. We'll just stop there, I'm sure our trip to Keocaea will understand having to stop to refill the gas tank," I reassured him despite knowing how desperate we should be acting this time around.
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There's no need to have both of us stressed out during a time like this.
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Not being able to fight the horrid heat anymore, I pushed off the car and made my way toward the building of the gas station. Just like other places like it, there were snacks everywhere but there was something specific I wanted.
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With the mini-freezer in sight, I walked toward it and took out four chocolate tacos before going to the short line. It was the TV inside the bulletproof glass case that caught my attention.
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"Live in Osaling, Shuile, just last night there was the tragic murder of four young men who you may or may not remember. Mayor Eion Montannes and his wife Anita have sadly lost their two eldest sons, Mortas and Emron Montannes. The other two victims are sons of the first deputy mayor. According to their friends, the four of them had been out celebrating a birthday when they had been killed outside a club named Azure. They'd been taking a smoke break when they'd been ambushed. Since the police have been silent in the matters the people of the city have taken it upon themselves to ask proper questions or come up with convincing reasons. Many believe it to be an assassination against the Montannes due to Mayor Eion's position of power-"
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"Is that your man?" The voice of the man behind the bulletproof glass room broke me out of the daze I hadn't known I was in. A greasy finger pointed outside where Inigo was putting the gas pump away. Returning my gaze toward the cashier, the look of lust and the lick of his lips made me feel nothing but disgust. And aware of the uncomfortable situation growing.
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He's going to hit on me.
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Please don't let him hit on me.
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"No..." I responded while putting the ice cream on the counter, trying to keep my eyes on the TV but I can no longer hear the woman speaking on the screen.
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A small buzzing noise began thrumming in my ear and I couldn't help but hold a breath in, waiting for whatever it was this man had.
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"Of course not, no man let such a beautiful woman as you walk around like that if they had you. You're looking very... fine," As he spoke, his words settled in, and I couldn't help but glare at the man.
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All I had on today was a grey tank top and a pair of shorts that stopped above my knees with some white sneakers. There was a bit of cleavage out but it didn't matter to me, whether it's showing or not is anyone's business. They'd say something now but wouldn't dare to speak if they realized who they spoke to.
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"Let is such a funny word, Ganon. You should be happy I don't let you know how small of a man you are," The words fell from my lips before I thought about it while reaching into my pocket for the money to pay for the items. Reading his name from the tag on his shirt felt weird. Ganon... the names people are giving their kids are weird.
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"Small? There isn't anything small about me, sexy. Physically a man will always have power over women, this is something you should've learned at home," No longer was the man flirting as he sneered at me, still bold enough to continue drooling over me. The cashier stood out of the seat in a huff, anger flitting across that pale face filled with grease from what might've been his last meal.
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Just like King Volke, the man stood tall but the only thing threatening about him was the stench coming through the holes in the glass. I felt my magic swelling in my chest as it wished to show this man just how wrong he is. That I am a threat to cautious of. Instead, it moved around the cashier to get just a sense of the man he is.
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"The way you treat women has told me exactly how tiny you are and it has nothing to do with your height. Your logic that men physically being stronger means they're in charge shows your disgusting soul. You think force is the only way you can handle a woman. You might be stronger but it does not mean the mistress in your bed lacks the strength to slice your throat open with the knife in her bedstand. Or from poisoning the food she cooks for you daily... you do have one of those, right? A mistress, I mean. Keep pushing her into a corner until the woman remembers a knife isn't all that heavy to pick up," I snatched the bag of ice cream before the man could take it back. With a bit of magic put into the cash in my hand, I tossed it at him. The moment they were in the air, they scattered into coins that fell all around him.
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"You fucking bit-"
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I ignored the man as I left the small gas station building with an angry frown on my face.
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This is what I get for trying to save people, right?
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Sexual comments or constant disrespect. It doesn't matter that they don't know who I am because it shouldn't be happening in the first place. Just because you have thoughts or opinions going on in your head doesn't mean everyone has to hear it.
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What's the point? To start a fight? Is it because they honestly think the person has to be desperate they have no choice but to appreciate it?
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"Are you alright, Nyota?" Inigo asked with a worried look, turning his eyes toward the door that was now swinging shut behind me.
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"I'm fine, let's just hurry up and go," Before I decide to just say fuck helping people and go back to teach that man a proper lesson.
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And prove to myself that my patience for humanity is weakening.
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Just like the world, I'm changing... but I don't think it's for the best. Every time I come back from placing saving an empire or kingdom, it gets harder to get out of bed for the next one. I know people are suffering but no longer do I find myself being no longer being able to ignore the disrespect and hatred toward me for doing the job I'd been given.
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I've gone out of my way, neglected everything I am, to save the millions of lives to do help them. Only to get backlash from them on how I didn't do the job properly or that something hadn't been done correctly. The blame for the deaths that had occurred before and after me will always be pushed on me as if I had been the one to cause the blood spilling.
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I... I don't think I can do this much longer.
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After everything I've been through, the thought of having just a moment of peace is appealing. Even when I'm home at the temple, it's nothing but work when all I want to do is just relax. There's always a situation that requires me to get up and make kingmaker decisions.
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It was hard but I had to remember that people like Inigo, Aoi, Raul, Marinella, and queen Kremva exist. I've run into others who are just as loving and true to themselves but lately it's getting harder to keep it at the forefront of my mind.
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I have to be strong.
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Because there isn't anyone else who will be strong for me. Inigo may be at my side but when the true work begins, I'll end the same way I always do.
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Alone.
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