“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCmmHc4vtx
“Yes sir, very good.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOILcZUIB6g
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWS0TpAVSA
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6BNeYWo13
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73ixQKMUFH
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq876Rs1iip
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0D0tW1RHNf
“Sir, please calm down.”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I3iOESplI
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdszESXiqx
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnZdvLCLGo
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9tj7aLM2e
Legoshi sighs.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4tkGMqGje
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfzky3XB44
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfI5SVcOWv
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNc2f31pEL
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP78GnT3FEt
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtFjUTZZ6E
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYhHzw11ZA
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm400QLu8L
“Oh no…” Gene says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifu9j6li2R
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaASADk3rj
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnIJtbP3C7
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthkFMC4K8o
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cNLt618Ii
Batman stands up.279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4MhTfZvHo
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBks6aXXLIW
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa9OhydbQ4
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQEtYmWgfe
“Ok.” she finally says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMJsxlva3u
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDY3PZQvK0
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQGxPpH0OW
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQE5hnrsuQ
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8k8cB5KxYx
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkVyTlZJ16
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b4Y4ggapG
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKtabtdxaO
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9I9tX9hOa
“And why is that?”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS6hDrlEqC
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYUrwMYcNg
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeEqdPkFBX
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29HKIi7kK1
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn42KJoHRz
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjERnccvoSy
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0QPjYZsSZ
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjuR2riN5G
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuePYcWXPZ
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQqtdHWelf
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuwD8YmEOa
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEAhKXLIF6
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwOR0MYhwE
He crossed his arms.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvRIOhsgfk
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGneWytzBV6
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOL77LdXiS
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJFvxw3HCF
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpZBhpvhkV
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQjbXJS8t4
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoQNH9C2mj
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4pPYB8CJ8
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLO60xTn7D
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL41xkR4Udi
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OF4FWLLGv
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVTgIguhUM
“Doctor.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflcOpxhuuM
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZarLQ1MBt
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI62WNQ4Mrg
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli7pTJvQ9i
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUq8jLygqq
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE293ArCa00
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UGkFLWQGY
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdIrbZLHXM
“Wh-who’s there?”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedpgYGeerI
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNq4Rq2tI1f
“Banana.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmvDBFsBtO
“Banano who?”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLjtDJ1Hu0
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylnqJhmYEF
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel3etETwC2
“Banana.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitqcJZBgxd
“Banano who?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h1JBU0Rcj
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aZ01RXn1y
“Banana.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcKs1U5yFP
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnR9QPyi1Kn
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFuOOC81v1
“Orange who?”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9OahdyA6S
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRgxP1hBi5
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeSmCYzHEd
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LoOHRoqCq
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAlciXR2Zd
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAUhF8QgZg
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x3fOPXflz
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m8QzDL6jc
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMORAyf6Kdv
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVz58frGCe
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aKDMUMd4S
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3HOb6z3Hj
“H-how?” He asks.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwv4Pa693h
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnsLS7AqoI
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedIR4RawCF
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJN2iKVTQC
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclsrGt884r
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmjm2YvdNL
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HjjZi8Ccx
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sfFFzHaRm
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIzfCNBKsg
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs0p7SawY4
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqEB0TMuyc
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA12wIj3803
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDAfErpqH2
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1sqyMhUaO
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO94o2oqK7F
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGT01dQ9nt
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwo4iuBoUi
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnE2Lsvuqj
THE END.
ns 15.158.61.17da2
