“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAOH5eImwzok
“Yes sir, very good.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA6EMso2oitm
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAotinJOeM5I
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAptK9aXcbbs
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAOVDBU6MNva
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAbBnkZqXe1A
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAlr044A1RTg
“Sir, please calm down.”330Please respect copyright.PENANAKweUuXfssh
330Please respect copyright.PENANAYLBwPo0Ipg
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”330Please respect copyright.PENANAQhT7SzMcWx
330Please respect copyright.PENANAPQRFZf6DLv
Legoshi sighs.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAtSAndZKNu8
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANATXQoS9esiH
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA0BA6CibscK
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
330Please respect copyright.PENANAMUk9nMRGog
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAuoysFCrlE8
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAG0VJhydzZf
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8LzwwR7SZ2
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA0pUzyKuxUL
“Oh no…” Gene says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAHLRe4pYMKR
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
330Please respect copyright.PENANA3z7IzI9eB4
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”330Please respect copyright.PENANArCvk6OBxbz
330Please respect copyright.PENANAGHY0QxmUDQ
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA7j3DyutGkG
Batman stands up.330Please respect copyright.PENANAxhY2rCLOTW
330Please respect copyright.PENANA6hgiAyCEGh
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAd8NR3VVj2b
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAT2XoGEujMq
“Ok.” she finally says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAW1qUNhbWkv
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA5ppjLfLcIg
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAHnawbMwynA
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA58LEZ2w4cE
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA1428E99s3B
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAGjAa2n2m88
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAHcRkNj4F2q
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAkGfBUPVf0x
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAw0sU8viuFz
“And why is that?”330Please respect copyright.PENANADcGRGuwPz8
330Please respect copyright.PENANAh9fBdxqoW1
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAaaFtWClG1a
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
330Please respect copyright.PENANARdhRYryG4o
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAuMoSWiBc88
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
330Please respect copyright.PENANABBnvPfzOeX
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAu1y4eb1DEx
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAfRDtdQVnM2
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAd9FvQ6tbQB
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”330Please respect copyright.PENANAF3uqH0zYJb
330Please respect copyright.PENANAwlhfiUPRqX
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAlp3ZwC30ij
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA35ZbqSFSQM
He crossed his arms.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAoTIWwiO4PG
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAlrAEsF6q9r
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAAqmyhHN63a
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAXhXKBcWyQv
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
330Please respect copyright.PENANANzfewKK0Oz
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAlnnTawG0GY
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
330Please respect copyright.PENANALZhoLRykXc
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAqO1wHfzh5j
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAKwlRsqFaFS
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAJibeCIdcof
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAO8IvCEhNib
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAYWuPHlS8rE
“Doctor.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAxQle6oBsBz
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAiaXBBtJo72
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAtK3ihM1C4p
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
330Please respect copyright.PENANABfEvfP9v4x
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAQbNJaZDXfO
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAxbNRrcknqN
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8S7h1nlV9X
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAoftvJk0qh3
“Wh-who’s there?”330Please respect copyright.PENANAjpE3YBfaMN
330Please respect copyright.PENANAYGwA8MzxB2
“Banana.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAfZ8RVCYgwt
“Banano who?”330Please respect copyright.PENANASEP29P5d6a
330Please respect copyright.PENANAvJk6Lt8AMF
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAgtixXGSFLV
“Banana.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA87ZTG5YQge
“Banano who?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAIpxf5EeXg0
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANARZ696ZzaOb
“Banana.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAyy4ECS4nTD
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”330Please respect copyright.PENANAnlXW1apwBu
330Please respect copyright.PENANABIUvQU6vKF
“Orange who?”330Please respect copyright.PENANABsnvg5yzas
330Please respect copyright.PENANAoHy7VC0ORN
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAhZdwx3oAnm
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAeSkF5Jnh5A
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA1Rr02oKIv1
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
330Please respect copyright.PENANASxMUn88Cas
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAtkSdD7JdxK
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANACGqOYn7wwx
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANABVvJGFjf6z
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAGuIxNLNY0A
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAurbXm7XP3y
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAfX9CJUFu5F
“H-how?” He asks.
330Please respect copyright.PENANArHlabWXPT4
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAhqKlzG9ol7
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAbnk7VERUaW
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
330Please respect copyright.PENANASqkYTnbaTx
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA2fM1UesAaO
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8OB3WHF2P0
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAjFWwvIpZxX
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAOVdTQCJRqn
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA5IqxtGB6jm
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
330Please respect copyright.PENANANupZHzp7E0
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
330Please respect copyright.PENANAqeqUBohP1X
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAyJBOVJ9hCg
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAsJ5ZEI3Otr
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
330Please respect copyright.PENANAHNEGh6XU63
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”330Please respect copyright.PENANA6wb7DICJZQ
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8V1FLuzRln
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
330Please respect copyright.PENANAkNzu78Mo5q
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
330Please respect copyright.PENANA07e2d9UK9r
THE END.
ns3.12.160.150da2