Have you ever hated your appearance so much that you feel unworthy of jewelry or other things that make you look nice? Like you just know you don't look nice enough to be wearing it?
Maybe it comes from wanting other people to know that you know the fact that you are... not attractive. Like you don't want them to think, "Oh, look, that ugly person is wearing earrings, don't they know what they look like? What a weird person." ... I don't know if that makes any sense.
In other words, you want them to know that you're aware of how ugly you are so that you don't seem like more of a weirdo to them. Like you wanna say, "Yeah... I know I'm ugly. I know there's no point in trying to make myself look any nicer. I know."
Like people are already going to think I'm weird because of what I look like and I don't want them to think I'm any weirder by trying to make an effort. I want them to know that I know I can't pull off a good look no matter what I try.
Or maybe not wearing anything to try to enhance my appearance comes from thinking I'm not worthy enough to give myself some care and love by wearing nice things for myself.
And I see everyone else wearing all of these nice things, dyeing their hair, wearing nails, fancy clothes, and I know that having this low self-esteem is not normal...
Like... those people actually do nice things for themselves like that. And they know that they can pull off a nice look by wearing cool things.
I think I'm being too harsh on myself...
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