I have lived many years and done many things; seen many things that even the boldest of me wouldn’t tell you about, and discovered many revelations that you may even have the privilege to enjoy; but I never was ready to be a mother? If I had been, I wouldn’t have taken my career to my command by having my uterus removed. You see, I am an active officer of my beloved intelligence services, the estate which I serve being more of my opportunity than it ever was a loss when making a mistake for. However I changed my own life one day, and the life of one very dangerous boy. This is a story about how I adopted a child, and if you would think it was boring, I would tell you that I have never been so proud of my service as I am to serve at my son's shoulder. He, just like myself, is an officer in my country's intelligence services.
Officer Adam Names are Sensitive is one of the finest candidates I have ever met in my entire life. He is an officer that I know I can believe in. He is sensitive in his trust and firm in his affirmations, and he does not take no as an insult. There are very few people who can match this man in morals, and in vigor I believe he’s my own superior. He will surely read this book, and what I say next will shock him: I’m actually very good at advertising.
Adam is someone with whom I know where I stand, and so do many others. Some can’t stand anymore at all. If I ever needed to know where I stand with him, he chooses great care and great charisma before he approaches me or others whom would force my hand. I have trusted him with more than one of my dying days, and today I can be proud to tell you that this novel was dictated to a ghostwriter in person. Because of my son, no one will ever say something so contrite in my voice like that I live for him. Because of my son, I live by him. Because of my son. That last sentence was selfish pride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But the question should be: can I trust him? No. I cannot. Or perhaps I just hope I cannot. When Adam decides something, his mind is like a stiff wind: he will move on without you. He's also very sensitive, like I said before; and when he understands a matter, he chooses to appropriate what makes him happy. His typical mode of humor finds an absurdity in the horrors among us all, and he then makes a contribution from it. My son is a troll. That's the way I raised him.
“Who so ever would weigh a burden onto them is of a lower quality by the markers of consuming what they would express to release”: of you who might not recognize it, this is insight from Saint Mortician's meditations on his holy grace and love Niccolo Machiavelli. I am a deep believer that he murdered for my sins, and I raised Adam to be one as well. It was on my most serene day that he quoted me to myself; like I often say: you have to let yourself feel and accept the consequences of that you’ve felt.
I’ve always taught him what I’ve long believed: that you can’t afford to force yourself to be able to trust your least selfish moment. It's a strange thing to have so much potential at your fingers and a need to sort it out. But maybe I failed. I am alive today. He's saved my life more than once. He is dependable so much that although I doubted him for a long time, which I see as a reasonable recourse, he never made me doubt my cause. As his patron, I'm doing very well from my returns. My decision was very good to me, and perhaps that was all that was wrong of me. The way to failure was available, and perhaps I maybe had the potential to take it.
Of course I’m joking; I’ve never been that charitable. The reason I can’t trust my son is because I can trust his decisions; and further, it's because I choose not to underestimate his decisions. I can trust my son because he dedicates great rigor to establishing his decisions before the chooses the benefits of comfort, and I can trust him because he chooses what matters in the minds of the common before deciding to provide for the lifestyles of the tactful and the governing. I can trust my son without fail because you can trust my son without fail; he will not fail you; I would sooner betray you, and I refuse to betray myself.
So if I can trust my son, I suppose the second of three questions would be if I myself can be trusted; and by extension, if we can be trusted.
Adam kicks hard. His rescue record is longer than that of a rookie EMT. His kill record is inflated, according to official data. I have seen many of them. He once persuaded agreement from a princess from a hostile nation-state once considered to be long lost. His achievements are amazing. He taught a mutated skunk to relax by ignoring his own symptoms of onset coma. He took over operations for six months for air traffic control. He quit smoking, and by that I mean he managed the creation of a cure for an alien disease using the tools we have at our disposal that made him smoke from his own skin. He once diffused a bomb because the closest help could get was a telephone. He refused the call. He went treasure hunting on another planet and found a great technology himself. And if all of this seems reasonable to you: He keeps being offered Lordship over a secret society, and every time he accepts it, he puts them to a good purpose. They keep inviting him back.
Adam is amazing, and I trust him with my life; but if you doubt me, then I should describe my own self. I cultivated an entire classroom of children into an intelligence agency of officers with a lengthy list of merits. I have stopped exactly three mad scientists and one mad barista with world-domination potential. I have developed national hostilities toward and redeveloped the regimes of both heroes and villains all over the world, and my merits are matched by my abilities. I was a movie star for a while while we repurposed illusory tactics to dissuade a high-profile attack. I once convinced a Russian Diplomat that he would be better off having a girlfriend than he would be having a war. We dated for six months, and then I saw him through a 3-month rehabilitation program. I planned and developed the seed program for the widely popular superhero bounty licensing initiative. I have a close relationship with an extraterrestrial.
If you can hear it here, I either have the imagination to tell you what you can believe or I have begun to tell you what no one has seen. I will doubt myself here for you, and in doing so convince you that I’m a trustworthy narrator. And so here, I can proudly again call my son Officer Adam Name Sensitive; and with no shame at all, I can tell you that through his independence and capability, he has made a fine crony that I could be proud of. He is one of the finest officers I know, and I’m proud to have raised him.
