"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable.
And Murderers.
And whoremongers.
And sorcerers.
And idolators.
And all liars.
Shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone."
-Revelations 21 :8
“One Billion, ten thousand, nine hundred, ninety-nine years.”
The demon behind one of the reception desks read off my sentencing. The entrance to Hell was split into fifteen different lanes, each operated by a flustered, overwhelmed demon, desperately trying to shorten the lines that stretched back as far as the eye could see. It seemed there was no pause in the descendance of human souls to Hell.
I myself had spent what felt like years waiting in line, But I couldn’t tell you exactly how long it really was. There was no sense of time in the barren gray field before the gates of Hell. Though the gates themselves were made of stainless black steel, the walls were a different story. Billions of pristine, white skeletons had been molded together. Men, women, and children alike built into the blood-red clay.
“A billion years?” I gasped. The woman in front of me, who had murdered her own children, only got four hundred years. And the man before her, who was a serial killer with over twenty confirmed kills got two thousand. My life had been pretty average. To my knowledge, I hadn’t done anything even remotely evil. “Please, there must be some kind of mistake!”
“Well, Um,” The demons nails clacked against the keyboard of the old 1950’s computer. “We…. don’t actually know what you did. There’s nothing in your file except your sentencing.”
“What do you mean ‘you don’t know?’ You just said I have to spend a billion years down here and I want to know why!” My neck flushed red hot with anger.
The demon seemed to jump at my outburst. He frantically searched through the papers spread across his desk before he found a thin black rectangle-a cellphone. His clawed fingers fumbled with it for a minute before a voice on the other end answered.
“My L-” The voice on the other end cut him off. I could faintly hear yelling over the clacking of keys and bustling of paper. “y-yes, I know it’s early. But I have a soul here and there seems to be a problem with his record.”
Early? I glanced at the sky. High above, a vapor of red clouds swirled with flashes of crimson lighting. I supposed the clouds seemed a shade darker than they had been when I first arrived.
“Yes, his name is Andrew Ni-yes Andrew-yes. I understand.” The demon’s gaze fixed on me, a slight tremble in his yellow orbs. “I-I will make sure he gets there. Yes, I apologize again for disturbing you ma- “
He pulled the phone from his ear, a deep frown on his face. “The boss wants to see you, human-Racifer! Come here now!”
A squirrely demon, who looked like he had popped straight from an episode of Luney Tunes, rushed through the line of souls, dodging and weaving with spinning legs. He held his pitchfork high above his two-foot form. Racifer stopped beside me, gasping for breath. “Yes, Mr. Balfinz?”
“Boss wants him at the sanctum,” Balfinz said, waving us off.
“The Boss!” Racifer shrieked.
In the brief moments Balfinz and Racifer spent shooting each other inconspicuous glances, I had concocted various sketches in my head of this ‘Boss.’ I imagined rams horns atop a tall, scaled man. Who breathed fire and ate troublesome demons for breakfast.
I assumed they were speaking of the Devil, this was Hell after all. And if Hell existed, so must Heaven. Thus If God rules Heaven, then the Devil must rule Hell. I vaguely recalled my years in bible study. Now I regretted not paying attention because it might have prepared me for what lied ahead.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
