.jpeg)
x
Ever since I was little I've always had an obsession with love. Maybe it's because my mom and dad treated me like I wasn't there or maybe it was because I got sexualized at a young age but I've always remembered wanting to feel loved.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82TdOpIot0
That feeling hasn't changed. I still want to be loved and cared for. But maybe when I started high school I realized that not everything is about love. I've come to understand that love isn't the only thing that matters in life.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ZrSWfcxt
There are so many other important things like education, career, personal growth, and friendships. Sometimes I got so caught up in the idea of finding my soulmate that I forgot to focus on myself and my own goals.
That being said, love is still important to me. I believe that everyone deserves to experience the love and affection they desire. It's a beautiful feeling to have someone who cares for you however I never had that. My mother and father never loved me. They cared for me. Made sure I had food and water but never gave me attention otherwise.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NcffkFNDw
So I grew love deprived, I wanted someone to love me so bad that I used to text an AI just to tell me they loved me. But the thing I wanted the most was to be praised. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to make a mark on this Earth and I wanted people to praise me. Well maybe not people but someone. More specifically him. Him being Blake Perez. The hottest guy in my school and a total delinquent.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT19Zcy53xJ
He didn't have many friends like me and wasn't popular by any means. I made it my goal in my senior year of high school at this stupid school to get him to love me. I HAD to be friends with him and he HAD to be my boyfriend. But he didn't talk to me. He didn't even know I existed but today was the day I was gonna make myself known.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfrLGD923Z
Monday. It was the perfect day. I would have the whole week to talk to him and I promised I would try my hardest to make him remember me. I just needed a plan.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLCz8p61EA
I woke up at 6:45 a.m. when my alarm rang and got up, tucking my bed in the process. I headed straight to the bathroom to freshen up, brushing my teeth and splashing cold water on my face. I then went to my closet to pick out my outfit for the day, settling for a pair of bootcut jeans and a cozy sage-colored sweater.
As I walked to the kitchen, the smell of freshly made fried eggs filled the house. My mom had already made herself and me a serving. I went to the fridge and poured myself a cup of apple juice.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpEo9pXHvO
I sat down at the kitchen table, sipping my juice and scrolling through my phone. I checked my emails and social media notifications, replying to some and deleting others.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqOK0wReQC
After finishing my breakfast, I packed my bag for the day and headed out the door. It was a chilly morning, but the sun was shining, and the sky was a clear blue.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfWKZ6aq6n
I walked to my bus stop, catching it to school. During the bus ride, I mentally prepared myself for the day ahead. I had a test in math class that I needed to study for during lunch, as well as a group project in English class that was due in a few days.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mzMBySLHL
When I arrived at school, I went straight to my locker and grabbed my textbooks for my first few classes. As the day went on, I attended my classes, took notes, and worked on assignments. During lunch, I went to the library to study for my math test, while also grabbing a sandwich and some chips from the school cafeteria.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPwZW2P7P5
Everything went like clockwork. I went to my 5th-period, study hall. He was there sitting in the back corner of the room with his friends as always. I sat down in the back but more towards the middle. I still made sure I could see him. Pitch black hair, black eyes, slit eyebrows. He was the definition of emo but his looks made him seem too mature so he always fell into the delinquent category.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx0bQ8B2Gy
Always getting called to the office, and never showed up on time for his classes. And of course the big one, drugs. He was always vaping and smoking. But there was something that dragged me to him every time I saw him. Maybe it was just his looks but whenever we locked eyes it felt like he saw all of me. Like he saw my truth and I wanted him to know it too.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5Oqkc4EKK
His friends left him for midday practice just like clockwork and I made my move. He went on his phone and started to play with his pen, clicking filled the room and Mr. Canson rolled his eyes as always and continued to watch tiktoks on high volume.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oHJDsom78
I snuck over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. I'm not a shy person but when his dark eyes locked with mine I froze.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb8UWCWg1q
"What do you want?" He said harshly.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zy59V88x3
"Umm...Hi. I just wanted to say that I like your earrings. Where did you get them?" I asked quickly looking down.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj3vjMDn4B
"Hot Topic. Is that all?" I was surprised he even said anything back to me. I half expected him to just ignore me.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1Lj2fMBLH
"Oh, no. Well, I was also wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. Maybe go see a movie or something" I say, my cheeks flushing red.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf39FEw1Jn
He looked at me for a moment before replying, "Did you just ask me out? I don't even know you. You're just some random girl."I felt embarrassed and hurt.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DL1phZpYS
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to get to know you better."
I quickly tried to walk away, feeling embarrassed and rejected.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlMM9g0aDK
"Wait." I spun back around with a crooked frown on my face and he pulled my hand down so that I was on the floor. I looked up at him to see my head in between his legs. I pulled my head back immediately and he continued to stare at me.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoPG3WXTiu
"7. Meet me at the back of the school." He continued to stare deep into my eyes before blinking and going back to his phone.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0N5EsX1u8Q
I swiftly got up and made it back to my seat. Mission accomplished, I just need to keep his attention on me.893Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VpOnw9egx
