x
That day it was raining heavily the sounds kept continuing
Pitter patter pitter patter
Pitter patter pitter patter pit...
The sound kept continuing it was a rainy day, the lawn was replaced with an earthy smell and the weather was now windy. It was a quiet and rather boring day in Wellington street.
It was unusually quiet until suddenly you could hear the cries of a hysterical woman shouting.
The Bhattacharya's had their first death
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR6a4klypz
• •
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrpeXzi8Zx
Their son was hanging from the fan with a crumpled note in his fist. He had a peculiar reaction for a dead person he was smiling and that smile shouted freedom.
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLmrldcLHV
The usual formal procedures were followed and there was no investigation needed it was quite evident after looking at the crime scene that it was a case of suicide but in cases of suicide the usual question arises Why?
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzNiXWcgf9
Soumiks body went under autopsy and as mentioned before, It was a case of suicide.
In a case of suicide, there are three main causes
•Psychological Issues/Mental Issues
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO5NBLp0OR
•Family conflict/Social Conflict
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsqvcyrU0l
•Financial Issues or Societal Pressure
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55B5q2E7pW
So the investigation team asked Soumik's friends and acquaintances hoping to know an answer or even get a small hint and what they got just confused them more.
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbMl6YFz20
Soumik just turned 18 this month, a good student, moderately popular, A typically average person, what caused him to do this? What was extra here? What were they missing?
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHamI5QtY4
So they decided to check his internet history, checking his social media status but they got nothing much to dig out and he didn't even leave any clues and all they could find a crinkly note stained with blood on which Soumik wrote "Maa, I'm finally free, Free from all this chaos."
Alas, the investigation couldn't put much effort into such a common case so they closed it with a generic explanation afterall a boy so average with scars all over his stomach, inner thighs and chest
It was a case of Suicide and cause of death: Unknown.
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS4WjOcVAs
So class this was Soumik's Bhattacharye's Case another case of mystery anyway please review today's lecture, I know it was boring but it'll come on your test
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVG0SQctbB
"But sir, I have a doubt what happened to Soumik's case afterwards, I mean wasn't anyone in the department curious about this? Scars all over his body I'm sure they must've found something!!".
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A1Ax0fOjs
"Ah John you never fail to amaze me , well if you all are curious then, His case never really got solved he remained another mystery in the series of the '2018 Suicides' and that is what today's lesson was about 'Mrityu'...
But who said it was over yet? If you're interested then I have evidence few letters that's all
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmv3Nle0eE
*The class gathers around Mr Martin as he shows them 2 letters it was patchy and yellow with dried blood stains*
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyIbwq7nlD
Final words
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VJ3xW02bR
Dear Maa how're you doing? How's afterlife? I miss you alot and it's been so long since I've written anything and there's a lot to catch up on maa..maa oh maa I'll meet you soon maa jaano maa I've realized what life is and my perception
Life should be enjoyed but I don't think I can atleast not now.. not when every single being wants to just be the best and forget the simplicity of the life they have and the shallow meaning attached in being the best, maa the clouds are so beautiful no? Don't you want to one day live there? I want to hide there maa and listen to all those voices shouting in my head for once and love them afterall maa life is beautiful unfortunately I don't want to live any longer.
Everything around me calls me for death it calls me near you maa oh maa..let me be born again let me fix my mistakes, let me come to you maa..I can't tolerate this anymore maa this torture, this pressure, this lump in my throat, this ugly reflection of mine, this scarred body of mine and this hyperactive mind i hate this and here I thought that I'm free that maybe slashing myself would help me...I want the dark clouds to hide me let me die..let me go
I'm coming to you my mother
I'll be with you finally
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvREnMSSJZM
A glimpse of his mind
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEu0igKdZX
I feel directionless it's like everything has stopped. Take me out of this hell...have you ever imagined that what's the worst way to torture or kill someone? Is it by cutting into little pieces while keeping them awake? Is it by leaving them in a room filled with gas with thousands of people? maybe yes these are bad and pathetic ways to torture someone but the worst of all is leaving that person alone in a room with no windows, no gadgets, no books or journals. Just leave them alone with their thoughts and that's enough to kill them yes they'll die slowly or maybe they won't but one thing is sure that it'll change the person. It's enough to damage someone.....
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiURSDW69t
Thats how I feel, I feel like I'm in a train waiting to reach my destination meanwhile I'm enjoying my view until suddenly the train goes inside the dark tunnel and the tunnel all of a sudden feels so long that my patience is running out but still I'm waiting until my thoughts really eat me up. No actually it's me acknowledging my emotions after a long time and the pressure of those emotions are so overwhelming that I'm very close to lose myself. Everyday I see myself I feel disgusted every inch of my body, there's fat on my tummy, no muscles just something which I don't like. My face is very girly not that I strongly hate but I wished I looked more androgynous and my body more masculine.
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwdYApi2j5
I just don't know anything anymore, everything seems confusing. I can't even cut myself cause it doesn't work anymore harming my body seems to not help me that's an improvement but it's left me a in a state where I can figure out anything....My head keeps spinning so much noises, people speaking, movements and most importantly interactions. I feel so fucking overstimulated it's too much for me to take in, I feel like no one listens to me afterall I've so much say! The mere face of my mother and my brother even though I love them so much. There's this rising tension in my head and it keeps rising and rising I just hate it nothing helps my emotions are so overwhelming I think that's what you get after ignoring and invalidating it for a solid 5 years.
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWopk8fQs6O
What I just really do is splash water on my face and switch on my washroom's noisy fan that's how I calm myself or I keep stimming. I believe there's something wrong maybe an underlying disorder, I confronted my parents but they just plainly said it's life deal with it so I've been rejected from there as well and can't really blame them maybe I've lacked somewhere and didn't explain due to my fear of exposing my vulnerable side to them and I do need help and I'm desperate for it, I can't express myself causing me to restrict my myself for little pleasures in life!
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvGIX2huQa
I can't even masturbate properly, I can't have fun properly, I can't fuckin think few things, I can't dress without being disappointed. If I do these things without thinking anything a regretful feeling comes all over me and I try to punish myself as I'm writing this I feel angry by the fact this rant has errors. Infact every piece I've written is full of errors, my inability to express my thoughts without any chaos vexes me to the core
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtz09qgkPb
My mentality is restricting my self growth and this annoys me and my anger issues just... lucky are those people who freely express anger and no one bats an eye, my palms are sweaty side by side every now and then I feel restless.
Although Now I'm all calm and again someone interrupts me,calls me,disobeys me and again this fuckin feeling will come welp that's it my silly rant oh wait it's not over I have more to say
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rxxaYtVZ7
Fuckin lines, lines everywhere... those lines reminds me of cuts. Little cuts,painful cuts, deep cuts... It's all so graphic especially if you draw lines over lines. Funnily it's not vent art that triggers me to cut myself, the thing which triggers me are lines. Little shards of glass, broken objects, thorns are my favorites when you touch them they cut you or scar you instantly. Earlier when I was thinking of cutting myself, I was scared and terrified it would hurt turns out it does for awhile then you feel blissful even better than MDMA. You won't die immediately you'd feel a burning sting but we humans have evolved so much that sometimes few objects don't give us that much pain. It helps you escape the wrath of your anger,burdening expectations, disappointment and heartbreaks..
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PCYSUppEk
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvNkajsPCF
The blood keeps flowing out and you feel that you've repented for your sins and they work well but you have to hide or else they would come to know, then you would have to confront and stuff. Would want to do that huh? its better that way and no I can't find any alertnatives
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nsLfCNLYN
Blood, scars, sharp objects, little remarks and academic failures makes me feel weird as in I feel defeated but I already knew the outcome yet I feel sad. While I'm writing this I feel blank because I don't know what to do...oh just look at my grammar it's so shitty. I feel so much but I can't express it anywhere lucky are those people who have high linguistic intelligence anyways I feel like dying I don't know but I just feel like that, I was observing my 5th scar and it's still healing but I still feel like adding a new pattern but I don't know where :(
I can't even die because she thinks I add value to her life technically all I do is just be a burden and I don't actually add value in anyone's life :)
I want to draw beautiful patterns with little shards all over my body, I want to collect every broken plate, scissor, blades just anything sharp please anything sharp will do.
I can't analyze myself any further oh stranger can you tell why I am like this? Why do I love this small activity of mine yet I avoid few areas in my body?
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYF627W8UG
I discovered that I wanted to do sh initially so that I can see the scars which were inflicted by my environment, my struggles and people. I get scared whenever my mother massages my back, I want to hang around a rope and feel how the life inside me fades away, I want to drink poison and taste my death. I don't know what I want afterall I have no purpose..
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R0MtsmKOG
7th time, yes this is my 7th time slicing myself this time I tried it on the stomach and it bled as usual. You know now I don't feel pain but I feel a different level of satisfaction I think this is better than Marijuana, see there is blood flowing out and it looks so beautiful. The sight itself is lovely and the fact that it's potentially harmful for my body is even better. I am harming myself and the pain I am feeling is too good, I've never been this elated in my life, you might be thinking I am crazy but try doing it. I gotta admit it stings, the first time you try it you'll feel a sharp pain then you feel a little dizzy and ultimately you feel like nirvana or you may not
You might feel guilty.
This is very addictive tho, you would start searching for sharp objects to hurt you, or you would have a personal knife or a piece of glass to harm yourself. Everytime you would feel frustrated, depressed or angry you would start harming yourself. This might be triggering so I apologize in advance.
I don't call this harming myself, I call this as a tiny escape . If I die I'll be finally free! Free from this fucked up society and Free from expectations
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2jf39mWar
Maa you know, I'll soon visit you....
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCv6eNaFbM
244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhPJ9z1Z21
