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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrDBmzaoNc
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「冚家鏟！」我一時忍唔住，爆左句粗。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILL3xP55B5
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因為同行既「人」又死左一個。今次又係咁，得返我一個。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrwBrjKLNU
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「人類真係好撚兒嬉架喎。」我用手抹一抹剛剛隊友條頸，試一試味。唔好浪費呀嘛。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq6ulBx3GN
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我左手按動衛星電話，打一打比我老闆先。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXL8Hqwfjhz
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「全隊死哂，要求徹退。」我拎住支紙飲管，準備吸血。今次真係「吸血」喇。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnjkt4TzKB
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「...」老闆停頓足足3秒咁耐。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddDd31B7bv
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「...你唔搞掂呢個就無糧出。」老闆繼續講。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsE5IWlnlL
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屌你老母。考察呢樣野根本就唔應該比人類做，一係就應該搵AI做，一係就搵Indiana Jones做，即係搞鳩我je而家。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6yzv5X41S
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搵食真係好撚艱難。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKfhTtXnjf
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==========================================================================49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VJd6qHIBT
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是咁的，49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LTYWti4tO
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我係一個燥底的吸血鬼。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlhNVsW496
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSSrEC8DcY
講起上黎，點解我會做左吸血鬼？講起就我就扯火啦。話說十年前有晚，我落老蘭溝女，識左個鬼佬。個鬼佬幾好人既。不過你地知啦，落得club既，識個鬼佬當然用黎拉social proof架姐！當晚我靠呢件鬼佬的確多左好多女埋身。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFGKRrVIVy
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果晚我睇中左條女，打撚哂車輪，準備帶條女走去爆房。點知條痴線鬼佬就無啦啦走出黎追住我，好似想郁鳩我。咁我梗係走啦，唔知點解佢又捉鳩到我喎！49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6LzMwvWIR
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「點呀？睇中左你條女係咪呀？」我對住鬼佬大叫。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Ndg94eun
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「You ！are idiot！」個鬼佬捉到我實。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniKbuHQwfd
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQnRDKifWH
我當時好危險，生命受到威脅。我只記得我常時醉醉地，我都開始唔知做緊乜春。好似對住個鬼佬狂出拳，一路打一路笑。第朝起身，先知原來個仆街鬼佬咬鳩我條頸喎，我屌呀！49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukEzqfMBi3
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一開始以為係d 基佬搞鳩我屎忽搞到成床血，不過好像屎眼又無事。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEPAMlCnXd
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我成身血，又忽冷忽熱咁，隔離條女仲慘過我，全身慘白色，眼神驚恐，郁都唔郁。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFTtvpmyHR
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係，佢真係死撚左。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX2RW9cOFO
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就係咁，我就做左吸血鬼喇。:o)49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OatoAZtJb
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係呀，唔洗問點解。我自己都有過個鬼佬，佢都係咁答：「點記得點解，屌。」49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3vsbNKNGy
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係呀，十年後既鬼佬已經講緊好流利既廣東話。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhuuGtXWBE
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唔記得介紹呀鬼佬tim，佢全名叫Victor Blackwood，不過我平時叫佢做鬼佬。吸血兒+鬼佬，直接叫吸血鬼佬，幾好，慳返隻字。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2f8sVNoYM
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sor，比你睇緊字既已經係10年前既人，d gag係爛少少。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0191KZ6xMg
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講返啦，其實變吸血鬼個過程唔算好難好辛苦，不過令我最困擾既，係我日日比人恥笑。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KiZMLY6mF
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「喂，死傻仔！！」有個契弟拍我個頭。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzVMIpo91h
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係人都知啦，香港地，邊有咁多吸血鬼架？全香港我諗得20隻吸血鬼，有一半都係鬼佬黎。另一半九成都係佢地d SP，有男有女。（得返一個正常人，就係我。）49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenIS1YPa3i
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班鬼佬，一係就外國黎香港玩果d遊客，少部分就係英殖時代黎香港住到而家，SP就無定條件既，咩人都做得。講到尾係班鬼佬沉船，咪變佢地做吸血鬼囉。仲有幾個，應該係共用針筒咪中左招變出黎。平時你地行街見到有d扮乞衣既道友，又好耐無死到，其實就係佢地黎。因為佢地不死身，本身又爛泥扶唔上柄，所以會一日到黑條條街度hea。至於我呢D本土香港仔，會無啦啦做左吸血鬼既，我諗除左我之外，都無另一個本土製作吸血鬼囉。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuMwePVp7w
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至於點解我會比人恥笑？因為吸血鬼族本身都係外來種族，香港本身就已經好多地膽係度。吸血鬼只係少數，真係要行埋一邊。頭先拍我個頭條撚樣，就係香港殭屍。殭屍係香港好撚耐架啦，由清朝到家陣，都唔知住左幾hi多年。佢地同吸血鬼唔多岩牙的，主要因為大家撞左食物鏈，我地要既食物一鳩樣，都係要吸人血，佢地會話鳩我地搶佢地d食物。我地識飛，佢地只係識跳得好高。同埋佢地好多都爛面，唔知點解。我地就皮膚白少少，無血色姐，又未至於爛面。可能基因唔同掛。49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUZGhyEjic
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「屌你呀！」我舉手中指比人殭屍仆街仔，然後即刻用我最快速度著草。下次見到佢真係想郁柒佢。最多咪坐監！呀唔係喎，我地非人類應該唔洗坐...49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24vpq8EP7r
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