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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWGcwDomRB
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEI7NS008c
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Xfz8n83Wf
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw7knFN3nk
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf5AGsXXag
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauncTnbeLN
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmFgF1es1r
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxR51dgqpsc
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GGRpwkVrV
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ978XIx5fiu
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9PptOORLs
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypcCa8MEXq
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqClscsiEU
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzHmoOlgzD
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77il3nd3gS
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7SOmoHQhA
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfDc38405C
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWaeF1hMKg
失業、失戀。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7ru2K5BQI
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XE6reLcqX
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1e3wtwNJy
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFKTwUiheM
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJudnKuvUyR
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiD0K3sW6h
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBz5tFLhiP
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTrcC6Qtfc
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxpwJ4PxWp
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHIqeB65RQ
====================================================128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHh8E9cpaW
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQke194mEA4
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcWzplFFjq
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKFkGjlCH4
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUQl8NBoeN
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3LZs8Tm58
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucquQVlmkZ
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpdIYWO1OR
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qnHlR0Ic4
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpSDwv8ZVo
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrZMzRgwEz
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrHJhiGbjv
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FYfIq6ZZJ
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVud7Pq7OO
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYJyla2wNK
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhFFqB0gaB
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI0iXK8gJS
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sGAzXGpRI
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqLrMhxK3m
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZiOM3ycuv
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONTvThIaSM
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSuXE8tIv3
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPdjK1Sypx
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatxp32GiHL
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJKmUJVIbS
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHUEQO2YqB
「咁我加入囉。」我說。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tX2IbIr5v
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUDmFeZWZS
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrcZq6ViC3
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aH5Ud6N7I
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2dRCqRUY8
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jJzfVCHrk
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNq5JLdDMrJ
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOQ28bvFwx
「開始得未呀？」我問。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiSIcZzUUP
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdJbG9rOsu
女人點頭。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0DEeEODrc
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvEXtqjI7O
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjikpTYEgu
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstpMPIk8dO
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIAe67RCN8
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t30KAjPri
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1DRCqPX86
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nCjWE7LEq
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsXZKsAy1u
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2vFo8IsKX
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9kXSAkrZZ
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Hn9WA0FI4
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtrGOVLmEo
128Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE1iouEvnz
