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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYUoOcP6TZ
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8avBegfHok
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDOC4fxYfO
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUW7ZpH7Lw
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「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAcPqXVNfb
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyvCgbiFdL
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxppPeXRQrZ
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJJIedeuQ7
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWKOn0hXMN
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVab2yij1Z
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsmvWTtAi6
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33xTtNc4oH
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmkrRGJs9Q
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsoxCU5WYm
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak3NnRYy7w
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqdN9zBtrL
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppcZPIzFtu
失業、失戀。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW0Ng3cyQJ
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不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIjPW95E3D
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVcr3cK5EM
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZoB2441nV
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyrTKFxdAL
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlzdDCtG5K
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDH7uGJATW
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciDIPN4EXn
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「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPLQgBwy4F
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZiPuejGnX
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ik7BRPHCr
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vt1Zs4ZNv
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I5kNGuC69
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IFbrjPl22
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kL8NsGeb9
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UzYdT6h1c
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWmxYRycR3
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLr0gMJniS
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AuMgZ9Eul
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmpYfcE1YD
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbvvbMo99t
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX66BX4rv5b
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRzSVM7eQ8
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgod3lxMSa
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpNqXwtEnZ
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSOnLuGiEc
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRIoH3jiOm
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05gYZ254xU
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEX9VG0UJ7
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxN7kX40OM
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68KqhS4qKQ
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOsL0hv6YJ
「咁我加入囉。」我說。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqweA4h6tRS
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCIhj7bQ4p
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdE5auazrm
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vkj2VuEDu
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgj5OzpbwA
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQosHjWsml
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf9Gp1ome0
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RUAsM6JVf
「開始得未呀？」我問。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dZTOvikQE
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女人點頭。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwhAkc76Zs
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYBMiEV9bq
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoxzfuaQUU
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ1zKdXtCn
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkJrgMXEeH
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ112vytxxuj
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6UVJhEVws
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtKykMiSwg
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuV08j6FKG
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ9bdbM7pe
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvW0rMDojY
112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2Jpw1eS3T
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」112Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgaagV42qD
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