Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2tdGM8vHY
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5b19Q0lkQ
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36ec5eVCJF
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBEiA74bjj
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCipZca50x
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4LXao6o8q
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8B3wwJwjK1
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpodOSQbfIv
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3ej9UrKOt
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y1okzIxBF
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vdtw2XqIo
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfFtXke7zt
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ycFXXqGR8
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXvBTD4ghG
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMnUWrKiWh
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCtji7T1It
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijNPSMSl09
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3rj8BTaok
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywepovz93D
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJjgm5z9q6
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeH3KRUctu
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMDzQVzmeV
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtukUbF81Y
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgZK5z7afn
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdlFKBXcFA
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl774H2VLu
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcttfWcgR3z
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXRmNHmJDP
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5T8ht7AnHE
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzmyuZXzgD
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM1xkomg6u
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzRFd6TygU
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHWyq6ADyo
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrV6DWw8TFV
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlx2ieHhLS
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvNq3u4Jlq
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d1oy7UAy0
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlZqLH7ERq
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffpS2WdR7H
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XVoDkcDwK
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp2qpERvUx
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPpq9Rt4ZT
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWZspe4eDA
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjxOWUUErR
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTaQsd2O9A
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTLaQ3I9Mo
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMfaNM1hBc
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI57vNWGZ7
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjsTsxpne0
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpmAXo3rkC
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijGhHCg5Z4
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcdm3knjbi
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpd2JnmiUg
*•*•*•*730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywydiKI0OR
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM45TalwKN
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdNJmSXwvo
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwvwnmtcE1
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZnqEfGD4l
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIqbZqqotE
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiUkMDUDDf
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6erPHjdop4
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEgezrTtAN
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzcPt8LNqa
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv1AkmfG9V
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyv6c5DxZm
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvxsyJgMRo
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Sqs5HzGd
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2SHtguMJ7
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLghTYsr5b
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBrdmmKuV5
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxU21wtBqw
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBjiHTKdht
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugcSlz6SDS
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCrM3AWaBN
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGCdYci6GG
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftqbtIij0I
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aPULY4aq2
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0XWh0Y556
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDyYlRxQCG
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5eXa0itrx
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVgAl2Q83g
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a3P40w5nw
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKoFCSpV20
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvITQjfcSLv
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHAPkMJT5s
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwdPKrLKXB
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbDBJbUXbY
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyis7Hjmz2
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh48fNBHG7G
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMT7VU6rdw
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGAjO8zysn
"It won't be painful—"730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9QyqYGJen
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEY2h89hKf
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6LNck0xQC
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLC6D1zbjn
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcALHQhWPiw
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHs8NRH2GP
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu26JMMbTB6
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNbC6Z3M1H
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTNtcuBUiL
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeln387Bf6
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xq3aBO3Pn
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjYlGCAS8G
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y5VSRIBP3
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlOSWvsTTL
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CpghSH6Ft
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO5Rw085c4
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR69UWrl3eg
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QXbunUyFJ
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFl0NFJtsUF
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZaWaDJgId
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftv3BFuLrI
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hxOgNwrXW
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN9olhaB61
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXz7GmvuA3
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKQ440npLW
This is it.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCtmxSMfgG
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMccBVRm28
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxRm4wJ5SZ
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7voi6AxACx
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSJfbEENQj
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgITS07l7v
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwCrLqpxJa
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uh7dxsjUn
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u7AHKbZjz
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H0McgYDVs
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MvplVxuYg
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGeyl4byro
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS5mCrqsau
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEj61tWxFL
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4UAjZVFp9
I freeze.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT0oF5VELs
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSghtoLKZV
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNa4ZyFMeL
Then I breathe.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS0BORcqGN
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hQpAEp3M9
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7jybXZT7l
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80gXTsUNfB
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzHX4qR4lL
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vFFwdARjW
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs7rn6Ui9y
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn93Ts4XTrD
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjULgxdB0e
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1lymlTfYZ
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3p3zzfAzd
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzziGHwCfKA
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2h9BCJV1h
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiJqQYjVE4
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiA9Zo4ZUPM
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDYsxEb7FX
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZusvlzWpG3
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5g5AC7FPT
Something isn't right.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfOKnzWA5W
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrogDyLU6kE
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6jDaNGNAI
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5jo66QQBc
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW39Hjdn7l
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCE1jpU1MV
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD1oxE1jvg
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLUfvLqQp2
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLGqeivTq0
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlb9ueG733
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4j5dJMaef
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunyzADcqJP
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VxDciXF0N
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR2u1z1Hgg
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwucTQHmFcZ
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01O91wUbfO
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4VJYjyXpA
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx17EgutMN
His lips twitch. 730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX5pMQbJva
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDHofLQwAE
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0LvWEHbIF
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP9CU6b9vY
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcTnIqKBt3
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbN8u6sC0f
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFzygjjUt8
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibFJU4xknO
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHabNOy9UI
"Okay so what do I have?"730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhjW1QaGfp
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NSIGFun9K
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Whd0YyeR7
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuUJyQHJxl
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQngBlvhDN
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zAZSpC99F
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV5EOtRJRH
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z7U4pPWae
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIJS3b73Ao
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ9g2FEdIK
730Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3XMW4Lw8m
