你好，我是莊坌但。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeyA6ROCws
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UxwKFzWrU
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vpcjBVxkG
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKSercciZ2
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadCyO1Gv5R
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaSagWdjwi
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnn3qqUfWp
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal51ECyeDw
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvii6pLfWVW
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPcWFA9dUa
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8zc7Q6bRZ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejnFgTbtFe
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjlCOkUGem
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJywEnllmrV
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMZLQq3OTF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9N5sN4aL2
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFSatcnbcu
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmThrVBKY1
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaCmPeuWrq
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2jvRHkoFi
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQ66FYfVr2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzsIOVxCdT
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQkMVRw5fs
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0DqdN2cAR
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKqamQXsQa
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDE2nyNzFv
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4Q5XtqBrJ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUKmGpUWwI
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIUJD5b6lb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lYaZJMBx3
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx05x0aSMbs
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShoaFzGbuK
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgr4jhhvBN
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXOkOurbQc
「你好，我是……」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg00hR4AkF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrjTMr3bCk
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfzAcY2xNt
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzk5z5HVfW
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3oxpn7aQp
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIFMp5zVmX
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdAI64OcF5
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOafWaVRcE
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL1JH1PjjA
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e87agDqax
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKd4aLjia4
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4fneOyTFf
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNk5SnSGOi
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3wZCNSkDm
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAwGpozKSZ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMDSF8SBIZ
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYSdKwkFyH
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMapWgiIKm
不好啊非常的不好啊！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPVgHHctzl
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDd5lBopry
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh5JnFrDIE
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hslGnXevU
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj7XRVYyAx
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0ziKg9QZv
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI54C7idYuH
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU95Dtq7vIC
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjYUvvyPoR
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6sdHZHlLu
出了社會，總是得找份工作。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZrk1B44Rf
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1VPNDl3nS
我自己買了台50CC通勤。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83R6VQxgyZ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpIq9vdd2N
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZLL4Bnf92
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MRQUpF6X2
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ7YZfL34B
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqFIfhw3m6
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE3IZGxCti
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h5j9U9gCg
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9O7aw9Old
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAovlXyNsAD
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddI3lvHwhA
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrJsfQ6WQ5
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzzwJuhfGt
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ehyRjGrQR
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEFz3Ak0o9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JFttQaboU
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi9Bj5idBB
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkOGZH0vuN
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNNlmuqQeW
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppfIK9BwEf
它熄火，我傻眼。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYe4nGq5K8
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIriBDB2vc
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyuBvWRZLR
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTLgDsnCKr
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwd8xxjsIN
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZYUoH4yvf
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaoGkkvoCi
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPuCbgj5JL
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzonyceCH2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmHoknXZEZ
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMto8H1k9W
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsquzwj4r3h
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmXnqtSzU7
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7kInPAUh3
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1Olbvhy90
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJgIBZ74AN
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWY24ADGsz
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