Part 1
“Ashlynne! Get up! Your gonna be late for school!”
“Oh god. Just hearing that name makes me want to get out of bed even less,” Ash thinks as they lazily slip out of bed. They go through their morning routine, putting on their makeshift binder, getting dressed, and brushing their teeth. As Ash walks down the stairs, their dad turns toward them.
“You’re wearing ‘that’ on the first day of school? You look like a boy! You could probably pass as one if you didn't put on that eye makeup,” their dad said, then turning back to the television. Ash silently slips by the kitchen, grabbing the black bookbag and exiting the house through the side door. They begin walking down the sidewalk, ignoring the unapproving looks from the elderly neighbors.
“Hey, Ash!” shouted a familiar voice. Ash turns to see their friend Emery running in the same direction.
“So, how’d it go?” Emery excitedly asks.
“I… kinda… didn’t say anything…” Ash quietly responds.
“Oh, okay,” Emery replies, now calming down. “So when are you going to tell them? Are you still nervous? I told my family, and they were perfectly fine with it!” exclaimed Emery, trying to lighten the mood
“Listen, your parents aren’t right-wing extremists like mine. Your parents are rad. My parents… mine are just lame.” Ash says, kicking a rock off of the sidewalk and into the road.
“I’m not trying to pressure you into telling them or anything, I’m just telling you that you need a plan. Being gay or trans is one thing, but being genderqueer is a whole other animal,” Emery quietly says, the cheerfulness slowly leaving their voice. Ash drops their bag and falls to their knees, beginning to cry. Small tears slowly hit the sidewalk, each showing a small reflection of the pain that Ash was feeling. Ash collects themself, picks up their bag, and stands up.
“You gonna be okay?” Emery asks as they help Ash off of the ground.
“Yeah,” Ash says as they continue walking to school.
Part 2
After a day of being bullied and misgendered, Ash and Emery leave the school and head home.
“So how was it?” Emery asked, looking over at Ash.
“It was okay. Some people were okay with calling me Ash, but there were some teachers that insisted on calling me by my birth name. Oh, and don’t even get me started on pronouns!” Ash says, rolling their eyes. As they arrive at Ash’s house, Emery quickly says goodbye and continues walking home. Ash opens the front door, only to find their dad on the phone, almost as if he was waiting for them to return.
“Ashlynne, why are people at school calling you ‘Ash?’” He says as he hangs up the phone.
“It’s just a stupid nickname that just kinda stuck with me, that’s all…” Ash says as they look down at the floor.
“Well, it needs to stop. We didn’t name you Ash, we named you Ashlynne. Ash is a boy’s name. Last time I checked you were our daughter, and that’s how it is,” he sternly said as he turned and walked toward the stairs. Ash, on the verge of tears, looks over at their mom in the living room. Ash and their mom make eye contact, and it was too much. They both began to cry silently, internally. Ash’s mom had always suspected something with Ash, and she knew that what their father said had hurt them. She walked over to Ash, kissed them on the forehead, and went up the stairs.
“That sounds rough, I hope things get better for you at home,” Emery says as they walk to school with Ash the next day.
“Thanks. I have this weird feeling, though…” Ash said, unintentionally making a slightly puzzled expression.
“A weird feeling? About what?” Emery asked, completely lost.
“I don’t know… it’s about my mom. I uh… I feel like she might know… about me,” Ash says nervously.
“Maybe you’re just paranoid? You’ve been stressin’ pretty hard about this stuff recently,” Emery said, once again trying to lift the mood of the conversation. The rest of the walk to school was painfully silent. When they enter the school building, Ash and Emery notice a new poster on the “Club Bulletin.” They begin reading it, and their expressions brighten.
“They’re forming a Gay-Straight Alliance? This is awesome! I’ve always wanted to be in a GSA!” Ash shouted, pointing at the poster covered in rainbows and pride flags.
“Now you show your true colors,” Emery jokingly said. Ash hadn’t shown this much energy in public since they were in elementary school. Ash quickly looked around at the other students and instantly went quiet. Ash quickly wrote the club’s details in a notebook and then rushed to class to avoid being late. Emery sighs and walks to class.
“Did you talk to the president of the GSA?” Emery asked Ash as they walk home.
“Yeah, the first meeting is tomorrow. You don’t have to register in advance, so you can come with me if you want,” Ash said in a cheerful tone.
“That’d be rad,” Emery replies as they continue walking.
Part 3
Ash sighed as they looked out of the window. They would have to walk to the GSA meeting in the rain. The GSA meetings were across town every Saturday, but Ash couldn’t have their parents drive them there. The risk of them finding out about Ash was too great. Ash grabbed a hoodie, put the hood up, and pulled the drawstrings. It would take about eight minutes to walk to the meeting, and Ah knew that walking in the downpour would really suck. As Ash was walking, a familiar voice was once again heard from behind.
“Hey!” Emery said as they caught up to Ash. “You’re walking without me?”
“It’s raining. I expected your parents to drive you or something,” Ash responded, trying to keep the rain from blowing in their face.
“We always walk together, and why would I make you walk by yourself in this weather? It’s like a hurricane out here!” Emery argued, now yelling over the roar of the rain hitting the earth. Ash smiled at Emery, but their vision was impaired by the rain. They arrived at the hall. There was nothing special about its appearance; there were no signs or decorations. Emery opened the door, and Ash followed them in. They were amazed by what they saw. Various pride flags were hung around the hall, and there were at least 20 people. Everyone seemed happy, not worrying about what others thought about them. People were talking, laughing eating, and just having a great time. Ash and Emery began walking to a table on the left wall as Ash closed the door behind them.
“Hi, welcome to our GSA! I’m Alex, and this is Echo,” one of the people sitting at the table said as Ash and Emery approached them. Alex was a smaller and skinnier figure with short hair and pale skin. Echo was about the same height as Alex, but just slightly taller. Echo wasn't the skinniest person ever, but they weren't exactly fat. They had longer hair, down to the shoulders, and wore a red hoodie with a rainbow pin. As Alex reached under the table for two pens, Echo placed a clipboard on the table.
“Here, this is just a little survey so the other members can get to know you a little better. However, if you're not comfortable with answering something on the sheet, that's perfectly fine,” Echo says as Alex hands Emery and Ash the pens. Ash and Emery began filling out the sheets.
Name: Ash
Age: 17
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them
Sexuality: Pansexual
Gender: Nonbinary
Interests: Music, Reading, Writing, Isolation
Favorite Food: Sugar Packets
Additional Info: Closeted AF
Name: Emery
Age: 16
Preferred Pronouns: They/Them
Sexuality: Anybody, I don't like labels
Gender: Nonbinary Genderfluid
Interests: Memes, Friends, Gay Trash
Favorite Food: CHICKEN. NUGGETS. (With Sweet and Sour sauce, of course)
Additional Info: mozzarella is the best cheese.
Ash and Emery hand the surveys back to Alex and Echo respectively, and they begin reading. Alex smiled and hands Ash a name tag that reads “Ash | They/Them | Nonbinary.” Echo looks up at Emery, then back down at the paper, then back up at Emery again. Echo hands Emery their name tag, making a somewhat confused but entertained face. Ash and Emery then make their way to a larger table. In the middle of the table there was a sign that read “Coming Out 101.” They sit down, and the group at the table quiets down.
“Alright. The last two seats are full, so we can start early,” the person at the end of the table says. “So, does anyone want to start?“
“I will!” Emery says as they raise their hand in excitement. “I came out to my parents a couple of weeks ago, and they were so cool about it!” Everyone stayed quiet and stared at Emery. Ash got up and pulled Emery to the side.
“Maybe we should leave,” Ash whispered to Emery, trying not to be heard by the nearby GSA members.
“Yeah, everyone's acting kinda quiet. Maybe we just don't fit in?” Emery replied. Emery looked down at their feet, and then back at Ash.
“I… really appreciate you coming here with me,” Ash said to Emery, looking at the floor.
“It’s nothing, I-” Emery started, but was cut off. Unexpectedly, Ash looked up at Emery and kissed them. They both stood there, paralyzed with fear and confusion. Ash, afraid that their friendship was ruined, darted out of the building and began running home in the storm. When Ash got home, their dad was waiting at the front door.
“Where were you off to in weather like this? You weren't with that guy on the basketball team, were you?“ he chuckled. Ash walked past him and up the stairs to their room. Ash crawled into their bed, buried themself in the blanket, and wished for everything to end. Ash wished they could’ve just been a straight, cisgender girl. That would be so much easier. Ash broke down and began crying, and didn't stop until they fell asleep.
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