Have you ever felt so lonely even in a room full of people, I’m sitting in the dinner room full of high school students. The stench of sweat and musky aftershave filling up the room. I stare at the wall trying to take my brain away from these animals but somehow, for once, I can’t. If Jessie was here she would make a joke about how the smell of the student matchs the smell of the dinner food or something.
Jessie is my best friend or I should say was but something bad happened to her and I don’t wanna tell you guys what happened yet, it’s too raw. I look down at my phone and see I have no messages, not a surprise there I only had one friend and now I have none. Sometimes I pretend Jessie is still with me, is that weird? Like when I’m doing my homework, I will have a conversation (in my head of course) about what she was doing at home? Or what are we planning on doing at the weekend?
I throw the rest of the soggy fries in the bin and make way to the library where it’s a lot quieter. I enter the room and a waft of old, musky smell enter my nostrils. I don’t mind the smell of a library, it smells to me like love. The people in this room love books and I think they love them back, for them reading them. People come here to delve into books and to take them somewhere else, somewhere far from the hell. Away from their problems, I don’t come for that. Me and Jessie use to come and she would say remarks when George the librarian. Who is in his early twenties would come sit at the desk his muscle trying to escape from his white, t shirt.
I didn’t have a crush on George like Jessie, I just came to sit on the computer and watch YouTube while she would stare at George. Me and Jessie are the complete opposite, she would pick up abandon dogs on the high street and take them to the nearest kennel, I would walk pass not noticing it was there in the first place.
I miss her like hell, I have no idea how I’m going to get through my last year of high school on my own. The bell rings for afternoon form room and trail slowly towards it. My from teacher Miss Simpson approach’s me as soon as I walk in.
”Hazel, I need to ask you a favour for tomorrow. A new student is coming in tomorrow and I volunteered you to show him around.”
I don’t have anything to say to her, is she joking she wants me to show some boy around the school after the loss of best friend? She takes my silence for a yes and she says, “I will tell them to expect you tomorrow.”
I climb into my car and reverse out of my parking spot, I can’t believe I have to show someone around tomorrow. I walk into the front door and the smell of chocolate brownies hit me, mum ha laid out the brownies and I take one up to my room.
I go online onto this story I’ve found last night and only read the first chapter. I click on chapter two and read until I’m shouted down for dinner.
”So how was school?” Mum asks as she dishes out peas onto our plates.
”We played football and break and the teacher took our ball away, so we had nothing to play with at dinner.” My little brother Sam tells us.
My mum looks at me, “how about you Hazel?”
”Just the usual stuff, I went in the library and caught up on some homework,” I lie to her. I can’t exactly tell her I’ve been spending my time online all day and night.
She smiles at me but doesn’t push me further, “can I be excused?” I ask her.
Mum just boss her head and I walk upstairs to my room, I click on the forums of Take Me Back To Earth. I see a comment that I don’t atop thinking about all night. ‘Why am I so alone when I’m in a room with 10 other people?”
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