After sitting in the courtyard for several minutes, mulling over what had just transpired, Velajul didn’t feel threatened. He had initially thought that Hiro found him suspicious and might’ve tried attacking him, but instead, they had, at its core, a mutual exchange of information. It felt like a weight was taken off of his shoulders towards the end of their conversation. Once he finished gathering his thoughts, he leaves to return to help his siblings with their task.
“Hey! How did it go?” Says Vuella as Velajul walks into the room. They’ve made considerable progress, simply needing to fix a few of the shelves and paintings in the room.
“He didn’t kill me, so I’ll say it went fine. Let’s just hurry up and finish this room.”
Elajuel remains silent as they continue to work, while Velajul and Vuella chat about a few more of the details in he and Hiro’s conversation. After another hour, they finish up the last of the repairs.
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“Before you guys rest, can you two go check on the kids? They should be waking up about now, so they’ll probably be looking for us. I’ll report our job to Mrs. Helen in a minute.” Says Elajuel, breaking his silence.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? I’m sure they’d like to see you too.” Vuella says while dusting herself off.
“Yeah, I’m not in the right… mood to face them right now.”
“I got it. Go take care of yourself. Come on Vuella, let’s go.”
As Velajul drags Vuella away, he sits for a moment before leaving to find Helen’s office. After a bit of trial and error and asking around he finally finds it. Knocking on the door, he says, “Mrs. Helen, it’s Elajuel.”, “Yes, come in.”.
He walks in the room and is met by a flowery scent in the air, accompanied by a vibrant cherry blossom mural on the wall in front of him, with Helen sitting behind a desk in the middle of the room sipping on a glass of wine. “Just to clarify, I'm not married. Just call me Helen.” She says with a smile as he closes the door behind him.
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“My apologies. I came to let you know that we finished restoring the room. Is there anything else you need us for?”
“Not at the moment, no. However, you look a tad glum. Is everything alright?”
“Yes ma’am, it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
“It doesn’t seem like it is. Sit down, have a drink with me, and get it off your chest.”
She says while pouring a second glass of wine. He reluctantly accepts and sits down across from her. Initially, he is silent, but begins to speak after having a few sips of wine.
“It’s… about something that Rose said to me. After telling her about the guilt I live with, she responded with, ‘If you want to atone for killing innocents, then do it by living.’, and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. Why and how would I do that?” He says while hanging his head back in the chair.
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"Well, let's start from here. Outside of killing people, what else have you been doing?"
"What do you mean? For a while I've just been taking care of the kids from my village. Between them and jobs, I don't have time to do much else."
Elajuel responds matter-of-factly.
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"Good, but that's not enough. The most important part of what she said is 'living’. That involves a bit more than not dying."
"I understand that part, but aren't I already doing that by being with the kids? That also doesn't answer the question of why I should be doing that."
"I assume you love them, but taking care of them is still a responsibility of yours. Go fall in love, make some new friends, go out and experience life. Rose and Hiro have given you another chance at life, so do something with it. You robbed your targets of their lives, so atone by living out the life that you stole from them."
Helen says while looking him in the eye. For a moment, he doesn't know what to say.
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Afterwards, he gives a slight chuckle at his own stupidity before speaking again.
"You said one of those things I could do was to make new friends, right?"
"Along with falling in love."
She winks at him while swirling her wine.
"And from the look on your face, it seems you know what Rose was talking about. Wonderful."
"I might have to take you up on that 'falling in love thing'."
He says with a smile. They continue to conversate and drink wine. Throughout the conversation, they start to grow closer. For the first time in his adult life, Elajuel had found someone he could talk to about what he was feeling. However, he didn't feel like she was a parent sorting through their child's emotions. Instead, it felt like they were going through them together. He felt as though he could sit there and talk to her for the rest of the day. That, coupled with all of the kids’ and his own needs being met, he felt like this could really be a fresh start. One where he could do things cleanly, and in a way that he could be proud of.
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